Really wish I could walk around without having to mutter "goddamnit" under my breath all the time

I thought "if this is so, which it is" was satire

I want to go to the Wanna Wanna Bar

I've always found a very strong correlation between the number of hours a day someone says they work, and precisely what their definition of "work" is

Are we doing Johnny Cash discourse online? Whatever picture you have of him in your mind, that's who Kris Kristofferson was as a human being. For like seven decades

Look, I'm not reading Hemingway here but y'all are not going to convince me that Skattebo is someone's last name

As one typically does on a Thursday, I dutifully grab my bingo card and mark "placenta," "circumcised," and "Tylenol"

I once listened to an hour long story about an adventure some radio guys went on to find a leprechaun that they learned about through social media

Mewn

I want to go to Marfa

Got ourselves a real "one set of footprints in the sand" situation here

Mewn

Gonna spend some time trying to square LBJ's decision to drastically escalate troop levels (at a cost of overshadowing his other achievements according to many people) as both being politically correct and also taking it easy

You people really need to start walking faster in public spaces

Mewn

One night I'm going to have just the right amount of whiskey and explain how so many of the problems we complain about are better if accepted as things we need to understand require guardrails instead of as something to fix. And that gets complicated in a hurry

It is a good thing to implement incredibly unpopular policy. It is a good thing to insult your military leaders. It is a good thing to say that law enforcement across the country aren't doing their jobs

Garlic is forever

But also we’re terrified of the subway

"And didya hear this? The guy who was president ten years ago used stairs too fast!"

I've seen a few clips of today's remarks from Hegseth, was the whole thing just him foaming at the mouth about how we ought to run down there and fuck one of them cows?

Is it the weekend yet?

"I can steal from you unless you opt out of my Stealing From You Package" says the Wallet Inspector who is is growing increasingly disconnected from reality

Considering the fact that I don't think I've seen him actually *get* a joke in years, I don't think he posts those AI videos because he thinks they're funny. He thinks they're real

wake up babe new kissinger just dropped

Mewn

Fellas, is it gay to not be struck by lightning?

Chicken P

Cromulent

Mewn

The guy who tells us he's a heroin addict and there's a worm in his brain, he's trying to tell you something about Tylenol?

When you make fun of bluesky this is who you're making fun of

Folks, got an inside tip that the only way to be eligible for rapturing is first you have to go visit an authorized Wallet Inspector. So anyway I have all the credentials and am willing to meet you in a gas station parking lot

A list of all the things I've ever done that he's disapproved of

I often forget that "let 'em eat jelly beans, let 'em eat cake, let 'em eat shit, whatever it takes" pretty much sums up everything

Starting to think that one of the problems we're dealing with is that a lot of people think you can do one Bad Thing and one Good Thing and still be a decent human. The fact is that doing mostly Good Things is the bar for being a decent human, there's not a one-to-one points system

This wasn't even two weeks ago

What's Ari Fleischer doing today?

I just want to point out that the targeted ad I keep seeing for some kind of non-alcoholic substitute beverage pitched by an AI generated woman who has strong Chris Chris vibes, there are at least three reasons I have zero interest in that product

"And didya hear this? There's not enough cum in boys' jizz anymore"

I know this isn't an original thought but it's baffling the way everything just keeps getting stupider at this pace. Imagine trying to explain it to yourself ten years ago. Anyway, here's Wonderwall

I'm available, ladies

Mewn

Mewn

I see we've reached the Gorilla Channel phase of this timeline

Mewn

Mewn

Oh cool an AI ad on YouTube encouraging incest to promote made up ideas about getting your dick hard. Everything's going just great