Hate to sound like a broken record, but what if Brandon Young is good?

Accusing James Talarico of being a closet vegan is like imagining a Harvard grad who didn’t immediately tell you that he went to Harvard.

Trump’s $1.776-billion “anti-weaponization fund” can bankroll the Jan. 6 rioters, creating a terrorist wing to pair with ICE. In other words, Trump is putting the pieces in place to suppress the Democratic vote in the midterms. Now is the time to decide what you are going to do about it.

I am surprised how much I miss Mounty.

Keegan Akin likes Nickelback.

TIL that the length of the timeout should correspond to the age of the offender, e.g., a 6-year-old gets a 6-minute time out. This means if I do something bad, I get almost an hour to myself, and now I'm trying to think of something bad I could do that would merit a timeout.

Today would be a good day for Pete Alonso and Taylor Ward to have a good day.

I ironed 12 shirts and two pair of pants for seven innings of the Orioles game, and I feel like I contributed to that win.

Bovine Intervention.

I want a Colton Cowser lunch box, a Colton Cowser Pee-Cher, a Colton Cowser poster, a Colton Cowser sticker set, a Colton Cowser beach towel…

The Orioles will get to 40 wins before they get to 40 losses and finish the first half at sea level.

MEET ME AT COWTOWN

The Orioles need to have a temporary cow tattoo giveaway ahora freaking mismo.

It's been so long since I felt like this about the Orioles, and I don't want it to stop.

We need a Google sign up sheet so we can take our turns getting walk-off cow tattoos on our butts. If he's willing to keep hitting walkoff homers, we should do our part.

MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO

In an alternate universe, Tyler O'Neill has made us all forget Austin Hays & Anthony Santander by hitting 30-plus home runs last season and getting off to a hot start in 2026. In that alternative universe, scotch makes you smarter, the sky is plaid & Natalie Portman is always in my DMs.

Happy Orioles meme day

What if Brandon Young is good?

I was screaming "MOO MOTHERFUCKERS" so loudly that I would forgive the neighbors any response.

Shoutout to my invariably pessimistic-to-fatalist friend who texted after Gunnar's home run, "This game is a candidate for orioles magic."

Meanwhile, this is Trending News over in the Bad Place.

So happy for Cowser who has really been struggling. Ton of talent, good teammate, funny kid.

I remember this feeling.

I used to get excited knowing there would be a game to watch when I got home now I get excited for the relief of their off days

On the bright side, that's two solid starts in a row for Baz, Gunnar is back-ish, Alonso was clutch, Basallo's homer was awesome, and Cowser got a hit. The downside is the screaming chasm of despair in the most painful corner of my soul.

Guess we're going to have to live through this, too.

Been an O’s fan since ‘79. When Mussina put on a Yankee cap my fandom went dormant (admittedly, along with the team) until the Buck Era. If the Orioles trade Adley, I might never come back.

I resolve to not let my love for the Orioles make me miserable. Enjoy what there is to enjoy and celebrate what there is to celebrate and hope for better times. Adley hit a homer last night. That rules.

This is your one week warning, people: Memorial Day honors troops who died in the Armed Services, not anyone who served. Honor that sacrifice by getting the holiday right. It's not for all veterans. It's not for all the troops. It's for the ones who died serving their country.

Heated Rivalry S2

Not only did the Orioles win today, but we didn’t learn about any new injuries. We even got an encouraging prospect promotion!

Do you realize we are *this close* to having Adley and Gunnar hitting well together at the same time since May 2024??

Whichever hitting coach rebooted Gunnar Henderson, well done. Kudos.

Yes-anding here to say that if you’re mad that an Orioles player was leaving no stone unturned trying help this team win, then you’re just using Westy’s elbow to rationalize your bad mood.

The Orioles just won a series against the Yankees with a one-hit shutout, and Adley Rutchman homered and drove in three runs. I don't think I was this happy when I discovered by ding-a-ling as a baby boy.

I know this is social media, but can I share good news on here? My brilliant, gorgeous and funny oldest son is the newest Park Ranger at Yellowstone.

Remember when the Seahawks won the Super Bowl a few months ago?

Unless you’re part of the online feminist discourse, odds are the existence of an online “rape academy” where husbands trade tips & videos about drugging & sexually assaulting their wives is news to you. CNN broke this story a month ago. Why the silence this story about an everyman’s Epstein Files?

At this point last season the Orioles were 10-15 and about to be swept by the Tigers.

ADLEY’S BACK ADLEY’S BACK ADLEY’S BACK

TIL that Kathryn Hahn and D'Arcy Carden are, in fact, two different actors. I would pay money to see them play sisters.

FBI Director Kash Patel filed a whopping $250 million defamation lawsuit against The Atlantic and Sarah Fitzpatrick for their Friday story detailing how he’s a drunk. In other news, Kash Patel thinks his reputation is worth $250 million.