How I process everyday 😌

lowkey just means honestly now. highkey means seriously

I just taught my child how to go 'beast mode'. hes 5 years old. watch out America!

[wakes up from trance] oh wait yea hearing unending consecutive 0.8 second snippets of wildly different songs superfluously used as the audio for mundane text and image instagram posts is unbelievably annoying

Pokemon - Season 1 Episode 65 - Showdown at the Po-ke Corral Frame 1374/2300 Caption: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Good! Timestamp: 00:13:15.789

Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools

jack asked if i would sketch up a poster to tell people in nearby neighborhoods about the partnership between flock and ring, and this is what i came up with. it can be printed on an 8.5x11 sheet of paper.

acab includes google keyboard auto-capitalizing proper nouns

youtubers commenting on clips of other people talking that they insert and speed up to save time need to be stopped. i am trying to live a warpspeed-speech-free lifestyle. you can't be bringing that uninvited into my house

message failed to send. would you like to cancel or have it send twice 5 minutes from now

"multiple things can be true" um i just have one brain cell so i literally cant represent multiple binary values but go off

What if none of these things is a distraction from the other things and instead they're all just horrible things

gonna start pronouncing myopic like the pronunciation of biopic that doesnt rhyme with it

how do people even get the tweet screenshots with the little x dot com thing in the corner like. what are they doing thats at all fathomably easier than taking a normal screenshot

Woe, mug wall of disassociation upon ye

[snl returns from commercial break to the host (zohran mamdani) standing smiling at the camera with a stage behind him] ladies and gentlemen, the amazing digital circus

you should never keep a baseball bat to defend against home invasions. because what if the guy breaking in has a baseball. you're just going to end up trying to hit that instead

a lot of all timers in this thread that still rattle around in my head. had to dig up this arcane heroku app mirror to find these to post in my friends' discord server a while back but to add to the pile, maybe the most obscure of these for me is 'a real pizza has four grapes'

One of the best to ever do it

its cool how at a bunch of bigger chain stores its become commonplace for you to go to buy something and they just ask you for your phone number as if thats an understood and normal part of buying soap

its called the howie scream cause how'ee scream like that

"im the man in the box" -kurt cobain (1960-1998)

an mp4 is a video and a gif is an image. thats just the goddam way it is

#meetthewebcomic Nothing Doing is a comic strip about the quiet, aimless discontent that lives in your stomach, whispering, waiting, and also what if some aminal ladies had jobs. Three 20-page ‘issues’ available to read at horseonvhs.com/nothingdoing

steamed hams but its a pipe

finally get to topically repost this,..... www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWEg...

damn owned

you miss all the trains you dont take

you take 100% of the shots you don't miss

feel like theres no more reliable way for someone to make me feel like they are out of touch with the profound human impact of politics than for them to describe themselves as a 'wonk'

thats my secret, cap. im always jopping

The Ethical Bro

im usually here for takedowns of annoying nyc mythologizing but I unfortunately gotta say... "they wont shut up about bodegas and don't get that they're just corner stores" is played. its in the make fun of new yorkers starter pack now. whats the deal with airplane food tier roasting

wow a cup for the whole world

TYPES OF BREAD TIER LIST: S: bread without human nails and bones in it A: B: C: D: bread with human bones in it F: bread with human nails in it, bread with human nails and bones in it

the time has come to acknowledge that every single day millions of new yorkers across the five boroughs live in the city they call home

as one of Over Eight Million New Yorkers i simply can't help but to Call This City Home

wow what a strikingly perilous lack of guardrails

ive never seen someone piledrive their point so cleanly through an interview like this, dude is spitting constant fire like a bullet hell game's secret True Ending boss's Final Form

signal boosting this. if we make enough noise our elected officials will be forced to take action

there's no type of informational/analysis post that activates my 'but wait who the fuck even are you though anyway' neurons more than 'vertical video of some random mf talking at you'

fretzl banksy socal

Could You Please Pass The Funk

midi controller thats a bunch of circular buttons arranged hexagonally like bubble wrap and it just makes bubble wrap sounds

it's so much easier for me to get mad at My Tech when it doesnt work these days because it's so much easier to put any small malfunction into the broader narrative of the Total Global Enshittification Initiative

It’s bad for your mental health to know stuff

how the tanes have turbled

bluesky should implement the ability to let you retweet and quote rt tweets from twitter. they should just do it