The woke brigade want to ban our Great British pasta sauces for good. This patriotic man intends to shag every jar in his local Tesco in protest. Source: UnHerd

My consignment of Mr. Naga pickle has gone missing in transit and I am distraught. I assume the woke stasi have intercepted it. As a result I believe Keir Starmer's premiership to be untenable.

so-called hampster Stewart Lee

Everything in the world is awful except for Red Leicester Quavers.

It's so cold I've just phoned the police to report my knackers as missing.

Still cannae get over what an absolute fucking fanny Elon Musk is. Total fandan.

Fucking hell I hate the band Kiss. Kiss? 𝘗𝘪𝘴𝘴, more like.

Today's right-wing men have never read a book, but think they're smarter than everybody else because they cosplay as the "clever gremlin" from Gremlins 2.

This is what should happen to Andrew Mountchildren Windsor from now on: youtu.be/AKE9W0O8bX8?...

Available for birthdays and bar mitzvahs

Saturday Shark

you're gonna wanna see this

If you see this quote with the energy you bring to Bluesky

@christinamartin.bsky.social Feedback from my sister about your book. And yes, rest easy, my shoes ARE ok.