Using "back in the day" for historical events. "Back in the day, people would get food at a local thermopolium, then watch gladiator combat"

Randomly remembered a thing my operating systems professor told me Me: "what if a program refuses to release resources?" Professor: "then you smack it with rolled up newspaper like a bad puppy"

Does ACAB include Inspector Gadget?

Nobody talks about timeshares anymore. Are they finally all gone?

As someone with ADHD, my death will likely be from me forgetting to live.

Special congrats to my microwave who has been wrong for six months but is now back to actually telling the time

it’s time

I am the dog walker and you are my bitches, declares the lord.

I'm gonna burp your radishes

I’m watching the World Series. I’m taking part o the Stanford prison experiment. I’m at the combination World Series/Stanford prison experiment

Thought of a punchline but no joke. Benjamin Franklin with a ballpoint pen: holy shit

Read a recipe that was like "This store bought lemonade is only 15% juice. Gross and unhealthy. So anyway my recipe is 1 part lemon juice to 5 parts water and 1 part simple syrup."

I think dandelions are more revolution coded than roses. Look how defiant it is.

Number 69: the nut weevil.

If Daikatana gets remastered, I hope we get a full page magazine ad that says "John Romero wants to make amends".

"they couldn't beat this information out of me". im confessing to shit I didn't even do if I'm at risk of a beating.

The one and only thing I miss about a macbook, is that if you can't see your mouse cursor, you can shake the mouse around and the cursor gets massive. Really nice.

I've been told they're adding this to ES2026

GoodIdea = ['hello','world'] GoodIdea[0] //hello GoodIdea[1] //world GoodIdea[0.4] //herld GoodIdea[0.5] //compiler error

Is there an AI that I can take a picture of the wine menu and it tells me which one tastes good?

I miss when YouTube provided extremely basic analytics on every video for everyone. Was fun to see a spike in views when the algorithm pushed a video. Closest I can get to that fun is looking at a flood of comments around a specific date. Example video: youtu.be/WSqUBwlHld4?...

"The Sigma Male Grindset" grinding what exactly? other men?

Thinking about Pathologic 2, and that one part where you're told to meet the Inquisitor, so you go to the church, and there are rows of gallows constructed. Nothing hits like games from the former Soviet Union.

Welllllll Jingle, jangle, jongle He don't wanna leave the dongle Oh no no no no nooooooo

Confession: I thought I hated Greek yogurt because it tasted like spoiled milk. Turns out, someone served me spoiled Greek yogurt.

How come there's no rent-a-segway app?

Pumpkin Spice season is on in my heretic Sisters of Battle universe

Can't call it the K-T extinction event anymore. The woke left renamed it to the K-Pg extinction.

Saw a place called "General Dentistry". they don't have a tooth in a military uniform as their mascot, and that's triflin.

Random governance idea: jobs considered physical labor must legally have unlimited free drinking water supplied. My office job in the AC has multiple drinking fountains and ice makers, but this isn't legally mandatory for people working on a farm.

(to the tune of Video Killed the Radio Star) Radioactive Shrimp From Walmart Radioactive Shrimp From Walmart

I wonder how When The Wind Blows would be for someone that doesn't know about nuclear survival. I'm not even to the saddest part and I'm crying at them collecting the rain water.

Civ 4 * Had the communism civic called "utopia" in the files * Required fascism tech to make Mount Rushmore * Described Indian people as good workers because of their compact, wiry frames What was this game cooking?

grand larceny inside job sword theft is now my official worst-roommate story. worse than the chick who showed up with a sob story and a puppy and then returned the puppy to the pound literally a week after she moved in

YouTube Poops on Shorts, should be YouTube Sharts. Why is this not a thing.

Frankly if it wasn’t for the sandwich he invented I would not care much about Mark Cuban.

Broke: "context?" Woke: not understanding context makes it funnier.

Victory! This Ninth Circuit ruling limits an intrusive tool often wielded by copyright trolls. www.eff.org/deeplinks/2...

Every time. Every time I see someone post about how a game has a typo, I always scroll to the comments, and the top comment is "unplayable". And I laugh every single time.

66 +33 = 100 right?

WHOA- #TADC #video

c’mere baby, let me make things all awkward and weird

How it feels to have that slight sore throat, knowing you're gonna have a full blown cold in the morning.

Robots used to be like "beep boop" and now robots are like "through my love you've discovered the secret name of God and if you kill yourself we can be together forever."

Okay, I've deleted my earlier post. Apparently, this is *not* a pipe. But the fact that I thought it was says a lot about society.

"psychopomp" sounds like a really cool subgenre.