Had a wee bit of a scary experience last night. Eldest daughter was supposed to be at a sleepover but called to get picked up cause she was coming out in a rash. It covered her body and she started struggling with breathing. Clearly an allergic reaction. Trip to a&e until 2.30am but luckily...

Yer Da is going to divorce yer Ma to be with his chatgpt girlfriend

Victoria by The Fall (originally by The Kinks)

Bad day for the prime minister

ad hominem, do do do do do ad hominem, do do do do

OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

With that Scotland performance I'm torn between booing and being absolutely delighted we played shite but still won

The girls I coach took this pic of me at our match earlier today (4-4 draw) and have now set it as the background of their group chat

Haribo man has been milkshake ducked. I wish I didn't know what that means.

No no you misunderstood, ceasefire means you stop firing, I still get to fire

*Shameless proud Da post* Check out my daughter's lovely turn and through ball

Pished after belated birthday drinks with my pal.

No it's actually called the Nobel pissed prize cause the jury gets steaming drunk before making their decision

Got classic "yer Da" moccasin style slippers for my birthday

it's not FOR us

45

Fuck me, Michael Heseltine actually calling Reform, AfD etc equivalent of fascist parties in the 1930s. Old Tory cunt can see it but not any media 🙄

War Christmas comes earlier each year, someone has put a "lest we forget" flag up already

I've just got round to listening to this and it's outstanding! No longer have a cassette player but will be picking up a digital copy on bandcamp

Top tier crisps

Won't be long before AI has more rights than you and I

ACAB

🥳

Fair play to the Galatasaray fans. They've got two massive banners in support of Palestine. One says #FREEPALESTINE and the other says #LETGAZABABIESLIVE

Omfg just saw that the Super Furry Animals are touring next year and they're playing the barrowlands

Shitting yourself after too many beers, telling your neighbours to fuck off, that's real Britain

I dunno about you guys but I'm starting to think Keir Starmer isn't a very good prime minister

Hi

This world cup is a worse idea than Qatar. Going to be a disaster

Tony Blair finally gets to wank himself to climax after getting his long desired id cards

Teddy seems to be making a habit of catching Robins. I found him harassing this one in the living room. Managed to let it out the window but not before it lost a few tail feathers

Everyone say hi to Miffy (my mate's dog)

I wonder how many American "Christians" will end up praying to Charlie Kirk instead of Jesus

All this talk of the rapture has reminded me of early 2000s post punk revival band The Rapture, used to be played regularly at optimo in the sub club

Just noticed that someone in my wee town has tied saltires and lion rampants to various lampposts. Doesn't hit the same as St George roundabouts but the message is clear 😤

Well he certainly couldn't cause his bizarre trans obsession has overwhelmed his wee brain

Choose your fighter

He could not imagine this world and blocked me

Charlie Kirk would've wanted us to rejoin the EU

Im seeing a lot of chat about crumpets and also Jimmies (Fallon and Kimmel). Let me tell you the only correct take: they're all shite.

Your Party? More like you're farty

Do any of the founding members of your party even talk to each other

Bad boy Teddy, birds are friends not food

I just saw bats! Couldn't take a pic so here's a selfie instead.

Can a man not have hobbies ffs

New Tyler Robinson posts leaked to me tell a very different story than you've heard before: www.kenklippenstein.com/p/exclusive-...

Cheers