gallant
@opusdei40k.bsky.social
📤 117
📥 87
📝 74
Only the ball pit will remain
They had to stop serving fish tacos at my high schools cafeteria because at the time they were considered too gay. The stone is heavy and the work never ends but it is moving forwards
3 days ago
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I’m a Barry Goldwater volksfront
3 days ago
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The only way to stop a religious fanatic with five thousand nuclear weapons is a secular fanatic with five thousand nuclear weapons
3 days ago
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Malcolm is a portmanteau of milk and cum
3 days ago
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Hey siri blue man group origin story
3 days ago
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Sudokus made my brain as hard as a rock
3 days ago
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I wish I could tell you about some of the things goofus did that didn’t make highlights for children but they made us sign an NDA
4 days ago
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Your phone should cryogenically freeze you while you’re on hold and thaw you out when you get through
4 days ago
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Playing the end part of the Burger King commercials where they say you rule! to myself over and over again and smiling
4 days ago
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27
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I learned a lot the concept of death from Boston Legal
4 days ago
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I thought dentists were just from wrestling until I was 32
4 days ago
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My dentists office has been playing the same dead milkmen cd every time I’ve gone there for the past nine years
4 days ago
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They should make a toilet where the poop gets sucked up from the bowl and sprayed all over your neck and back from the top of the tank
4 days ago
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Nice. Perfect timing.
4 days ago
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Taking my vitamins on an empty stomach. Who even cares anymore
4 days ago
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I either need to eat fifty grams of protein or expel 200
4 days ago
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Refrigreatables. The snack you can put in the fridge
4 days ago
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My first dentists practice was in a crawlspace and the second one was in like a mud room/foyer and the third one was in a hut built out of particle board in the middle of some guys basement. Disbarred after that. Or whatever the dentist version of that is. Dishonorably toothcharged
4 days ago
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Dentist offices will just open up in any style of building. That’s punk rock
4 days ago
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Street art pisses me off so bad. That space was supposed to be for gray
4 days ago
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Sitting in my ofice job drinking a cold can of Coke Zero. Doesn’t get much better than this
4 days ago
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Coke Zero is just cosplay to you
4 days ago
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I know there must be heaven because brother I’ve seen hell would be a beautiful slogan for Safeway
4 days ago
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Chicken Garlic Mushrooms Chard thyme White wine Salsa casera Hagen daszsz bars
4 days ago
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4 days ago
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First morning in Horses Instead of Pigs Twin Peaks, Diane. Breakfast at the Double R Diner; delicious. Black coffee, two eggs over easy wheat toast and bacon so rare it was still neighing
4 days ago
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Every problem can be solved by some combination of tummy time and a gun
4 days ago
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My goofus days are behind me. Now I just need to track down all those handguns I misplaced
4 days ago
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Me and goofus are remaking planet of the apes except instead of being in the future where apes have replaced mankind it’s going to be two and a half hours of things that are good to do vs things that are bad to do
4 days ago
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The email I got said my post got me four strikes. Just pick another word at that point
4 days ago
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Small today. Big again tomorrow. Busy week.
4 days ago
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Watching The Good Fight was an hp lovecraft level insanity inducing event for me
4 days ago
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Boston legal between songs music: mhhhmmmmmmm ooohh yeaaaahhhh ohhhhhh yeahhh mhmmmmmmm Me: preach brother
4 days ago
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reposted by
gallant
tara
4 days ago
Sharpening my scythe on a whetstone in the breakroom
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War of all against all happened to my buddy
4 days ago
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Need oxygen? There’s a Prodigy song for that. Bitch acting up? There’s a Prodigy song for that. Groping your way blindly through a dark and hostile world? That’s right, there’s a Prodigy song for that
4 days ago
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reposted by
gallant
krumm
6 days ago
jewel, 2025
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Nothing funny about toxic shock syndrome except for two small things
5 days ago
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Hey siri can you get toxic shock syndrome from a paramount+ commercial
5 days ago
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Your scented garbage bag lifestyle has made you soft and weak
5 days ago
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Can I borrow your callus I have some handshakes to do
5 days ago
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reposted by
gallant
j
5 days ago
selling live chickens out of my studio apartment
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Rfk jr is a pussy for eating potatoes with his tallow
5 days ago
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Hard times make men that sleep with their hands in velvet gloves full of Vaseline. Men that sleep with their hands in velvet gloves full of Vaseline make good yikes. Good times make men that sleep with their hands in sandpaper gloves that give you calluses
5 days ago
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Asked my doctor about white collar speedballs and he asked to check my hands for calluses
5 days ago
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Last time I got a three day I just stopped going on the computer for 72 hours. Nice quantitative way to measure the way I’ve become an appreciably worse person.
5 days ago
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@opusdei.bsky.social
me dê seu nome de usuário.
5 days ago
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I refuse to see live music ever again
5 days ago
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Keep the western lands weird
5 days ago
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Death be not weird
5 days ago
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