Happy Mother’s Day

i'm behind the news cycle on this one, but since everyone's fave teen idol ben mackenzie is out there promoting his new anti-crypto doc., i'd be remiss not to mention one of my stupider ideas that I was happy to have published in @vulture.com a few years back, please enjoy

ah, hmm

excited to share my ✨third-prize-winning short fiction✨ up today at @fracturedlit.bsky.social — primarily inspired by being at work and wondering if the octopus hates us for all we've done! (cw: pregnancy loss)

the only way you could write a "start smoking again" take and be serious is if you are like 19 years old or you are 50 years old and wish you were 19

pleased to announce it’s smoo season again

hmm I suppose it is the gumbys

ARTIFICIAL DESIRES ARE DESPOILING THE EARTH

new torment nexus dropped

it's cool that i have to turn off copilot in outlook every day because it keeps turning back on despite me constantly turning it off ................ you know your product is good when its main feature is "trick people into using it"

me after my child barfed in my mouth

me: ope! better wash my hands well so I don’t get sick! my child: [barfs directly into my mouth]

one of my perhaps irrational beliefs is that if steve jobs were still alive, apple would’ve made an updated nokia 3310 dupe that gets imessage

okay i know this is like 100 years ago in dumb NYT things but i can't stop thinking about this part specifically and i have to say: you are talking about (1) complete rando at whole foods and molly baz. that's it!!!!!

my son is obsessed with that “who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop” song from grease and honestly it’s worse than baby shark … someone please hit me with a hammer and make it stop

gotta say having a kid right before society started to collapse is not ideal! but even under these circumstances: saw some bunnies in the yard while he was getting his jammies on and requested I sing him pete seeger and that's the kind of shit that makes you cry from all the way behind the moon

I'm disposed to like Prince, the twenty-six-year-old pansexual star of PURPLE RAIN, because he is, as a friend of mine put it, "the fulfillment of everything that people like Jerry Falwell say rock 'n' roll will do to the youth of America." (1984)

reports of jonathan the tortoise's death have been greatly exaggerated, which makes this essay even more appropriate: STILL ALIVE! stillalivemag.com/articles/jon...

Apr 1st - Police officer He Qiwu is dumped by his girlfriend named May on 1 April. 📽️📅 Chungking Express (1994)

For context, we spent twice that in police overtime in Boston last year. At some point, legislators and executive electeds are going to need to deal with the fact that police are strangling the budgets of America's cities.

watertown turned out on this rudely cold morning!

a weird problem in talking about boston is that it is an undeniably segregated place, but by ignoring/omitting well-loved, lauded, and centrally located bipoc-owned restaurants (eg: mida!!) you're reinforcing the idea that there are no people of color in these spaces

will someone at netflix wipe off the lens for this yankees/giants broadcast

BU admin’s decision to keep toeing the line on this one (re: the email I got this morning) just gets more shameful by the day!!! literally do they think we’re stupid/what do they think is gonna happen here

maybe baseball will fix my mental health!!

forbidden sour patch kid

i need a shirt that says FAUT-IL BRÛLER PETER THEIL so bad

Dear Gran We have had a nice time in Ireland. Geraldine got a boyfriend but I didn't. Christine

they should simply have a large bird pick up the ships and carry them over the strait

on this here 60-plus degree day in boston, the first of spring, thinking again of this lovely one from @flaminghydra.com — winter's come and gone, a little bird told me so!

marineland billboard, florida, 1979

many many regrettable things about this timeline but v lucky to be around to see my husband shohei ohtani play baseball!!!

going to cat power tonight—hoping maybe I can get electrocuted by the amp and sent back to 2003 to fix the timeline

I think about this Tony Benn speech much more than I used to

more like NO!!!!easter am I right hahah *sobbing*

huge win for alt girls everywhere

watching the sopranos thinking "I am also my therapist's favorite patient"

Huge announcement: Girl Scouts on our trans girl scout cookies list have sold 250,000!!!!!! Boxes of girl scout cookies, a record for EITM's trans girl scout cookie drive. Some have only sold 20 boxes though. I put those at the top of the list. Lets close out this season and make their day! :)

implementing UBU: universal basic ukulele for everyone, a thing you can just learn songs on really easily and play them for no one/your cats/your toddler/etc to generate some free seratonin

i need a report on the guy whose acoustic guitar set is currently getting picked up by the peacock live feed/ambient shot of cortina

i am always delighted to receive tal's newsletter and this week was no exception

New York Times might as well start credulously reporting what my friend’s three-year-old saw out the bus window today! “A dinosaur??? Driving???? With a hat on??? put it on A1”

many enviable butts and quads in winter sports

petition to let all of us [redacted]

contractually obligated to share all good things written about and related to schenectady—the city that lights and hauls the world, baby!

petition to let all exes of billionaires [redacted]

currently eating some of the cookies I got from a trans scout earlier this month—this could be you!!

I am v. sad to hear about dan mcquade, whose writing I followed sort of not-on-purpose—in a "wow that was great, oh shit of course it was dan" kind of way—he proved that with a big heart and enough curiosity about people/things, you can make something lovely out of literally anything