Oh, come on. Who hasn't done that?

Your kid may have gotten 37 pencils last Christmas, but you can forget giving them anything that extravagant this year.

Trump has a new post about how he’s in perfect health and not slowing down. The newsworthy bit seems to be that it’s “seditious, perhaps even treasonous, for The New York Times, and others, to consistently do FAKE reports in order to libel and demean” him and “we should do something about it.”

This is INSANE www.nytimes.com/2025/12/09/t... and these are our closest allies!

This is terrible. How am I going to find out about dogs and other animals?

Vampires can't enter your home unless invited, and that's just one of the traits they share with Jehovah's Witnesses.

He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake, He hides inside the toilet Like a deadly water snake

"Elon’s entire incoherent free speech framework collapses into a single coherent principle: speech I like is protected, speech I don’t like should be punished. This is what happens when someone who never understood the actual principles of free speech tries to cosplay as a free speech absolutist."

There should have been a "M*A*S*H" episode where they broke the fourth wall and tried to find out where the laugh track was coming from.

was it Yosemite Sam

Off to Ralphs to pick up all the cat food I couldn’t get on my way home yesterday because I didn’t have my cart with me. This is strictly an act of self-preservation.

Wow: Lemkin Institute for Genocide Prevention (named for Holocaust survivor Raphael Lemkin, who coined term "genocide") calls Clinton's remarks "genocide denial." "Young people in the US are not stupid or gullible. They simply reject genocide – something the Secretary might consider doing as well."

Well, that sounds ominous. Am I cursed now? Is this like The Ring?

he always looks like a painting of a cat by someone who has only seen a few cats

Googling "insincere weasel" gets the same results as Googling "Gavin Newsom."

We survived this morning's bout of patio-induced zoomies. I mostly just let him wear himself out. He seemed calm-ish when I was ready to carry him in, but just touchy enough that I still held him at arm's length like he was a beaker of nitro glycerin.

Wow, I misremembered so much about this film. For one thing, I could have sworn it was older.

I wonder what the British “contribution” was when they came to Bengal, or Kenya, or Palestine, or China, or…

If the best name you can come up with for a thing is "hostile acquisition," it kinda sounds like the sort of thing that no sane society would allow.

This isn’t socialism. That’s why.

I don't know if the Secretary of "War" can be courtmartialed but let's find out.

You never hear about Reba McPartial.

I'm watching a tech YouTuber who pronounces the "eth" in "ethernet" like it's the "eth" in "Ethel," not the "eth" in "lethal." You wouldn't think that would be maddening, but let me tell you: it's MADDENING.

I knew Jared Kushner was a vampire.

Look who finally put in an appearance after ghosting me half the night.

I don't know how he manages it but every damn time that cat jumps on my keyboard, he opens Apple Music.

One of these days, these boots are gonna walk all over you...

Saw a clip of Nick Fuentes on Piers Morgan, spouting off about how he's against interracial marriage, and claiming "every other group is against it too." Two things, Adolf: - you ain't a fucking group - if it's between consenting adults, you don't get to be "against" any marriage you're not in

You know that these Nazi vultures are going to gut and censor the entire Warner Bros. catalogue until all that's left is "state-approved media."

All these gaudy gold tchotchkes he collects look like terrible cheese sculptures.

I have to laugh when Trump calls the Democrats "radical leftist scum." I fucking WISH! Most of them are milquetoast centrist corporatist scum.

Sodom and Gomorrah were the Minneapolis-Saint Paul of their day.

I don't know what the clock says but my frozen bones say it's Electric Blanket Time.

Hey Netflix, come get your truck.

GUY ON COMMERCIAL: "When I get congested, I can't breathe!" ME: "Yes, that's what 'congested' means."

zero pull-ups achieved

Islamists aren't the ones committing a fucking genocide over there right now, and 'whitey' sure is supportive of it.

This is why I love The Vanguard. Because they make videos like this. And here is something that I think we should all be aware of. Ana Kasparian came out as Transphobe. You know over 10 years ago I had a massive crush on her, for her empathy. Fuck her. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ce89...

EUROPEAN NEWS PRESENTER: "X lacks critical information, like the content and the topic of the ad." ME, AN AMERICAN: "Haha, you said 'Ex-Lax'."

People in "the party of personal responsibility" love to outsource all their evil to an imaginary boogeyman, so they never have to own up to any of it. After all, according to them, it's faith, not works, that gets one into Heaven. They can be miserable shits, just as long as they've found JAYZUS!

Elon Musk is worse at hiding it but this is the problem with all billionaires: they are a threat to democratic governance. They have an insatiable need to own and control everything. If you want to be free you have to curb their power, and demand political leaders who understand that

In a war between this U.S. administration and Europe, I'm siding with Europe.

God damn, today wore me out.

They cut short the treadmill test because they noticed me struggling—as I told them I would—and the doctor asked me why I opted for that test when there were other, non-strenuous tests that were more accurate. GOOD QUESTION! LET’S DO THOSE THEN, SHALL WE? God damn, U.S. health care is a joke.

cool just let me know when they're all dead

I’m glad I budgeted extra time. I’m here, an hour ahead of my appointment for a treadmill test, and exhausted already from all the walking I’ve done. Gotta sit for a while and replenish my energy reserves. I can’t eat or drink anything, alas, because of the requisite fasting.

I love hearing Republican politicians tell me that groups that fight for human rights and free speech are “anti-American.” The fascists define themselves by those they choose to hate. Without imaginary demons to declare, these people have no personalities at all.

Watching YouTube videos to try and understand the Raycast app, and they might as well be in some inscrutable alien tongue, because I just cannot follow them. I think the whole UI and methodology of Raycast just makes me tune out.

His brains have been replaced with tossed salad and scrambled eggs.