Every time I'm tempted to say, "Hey Democrats, stop trying to make Rahm Emanuel a thing," I remind myself that they pretty much *have* stopped. The only one trying to make Rahm Emanuel a thing is Rahm Emanuel. Dems finally found a guy who's too much of a centrist douche even for THEM.

Claudia Sheinbaum just launched a national EV in Mexico that retails for $5000 US. This is after giving millions of people universal healthcare. Meanwhile Mark Carney is fast tracking Canada into a dystopian AI surveillance state and Donald Trump is trying to go for the war criminal leaderboard

So he'll be Valentina Gomezing it. Hitchhiking around the country to Sad Hulk music until he finds someplace, anyplace demented and dumb enough to elect him.

Wait till The Atlantic figures out the truth about Israel's narrative.

I’m Jim Collins, a 57-year-old electrician from Fayetteville, North Carolina and Spencer Pratt becoming mayor of Los Angeles is my top issue.

My night supervisor.

I'm sorry but if I'm a property judge in Eternia, I'm awarding Castle Grayskull to Skeletor. IT HAS HIS WHOLE FACE ON IT!

The venue's going to have to sterilize—or preferably, burn—whichever seat President ShitsHisPants uses.

Both teams should boycott Trump's attendance. Give him a view of an empty court.

We need more rich people with normal interests like "your movie sounds neat" instead of, like, white fertility rates.

Voice assistants and dictation technologies are concepts aimed at people who like the sound of their own voices more than I can even tolerate mine.

This Korean paper asmr artist that I’ve been following for a while made a TikTok of her healing Van Gogh 🥹 Her account name is paper pepper www.tiktok.com/@paper__pepp...

Bari Weiss is a genuinely evil person

When I turned away the Jehovah's Witnesses who came to my door just now, "Not interested," didn't feel emphatic enough, so after a brief pause, I added, "REAL not interested."

CNN not beating Zionist propaganda allegations by having big headlines about "terror attacks" for one Israeli being shot, while not reporting on Israel mid-genocide terrorizing 3+ countries, murdering dozens daily, ethnically cleansing at least two countries, and applying apartheid openly.

Interviewers: You are doing it wrong if you don't push Trump to the point where he bails, and you can say "I traveled all the way to Wisconsin for this interview."

THE ANSWER: "Spider-Man has a villain named the Jackal who designed himself a jackal costume—green, of course; the natural colors of jackals in the wild—and who has the jackal-like ability to... uh... scientifically create clones." THE QUESTION: "Why do you prefer DC to Marvel?"

The answer to the bullshit, bad-faith question in your headline is "NO."

SID & NANCY but it's Sid Caesar and Nancy Kulp.

It's quantum theorists' job to tell you that things like multiverses, time travel, and teleportation are real, but not in a way that's cool or fun.

One thing I would like to hear at WWDC is that Apple's finally letting my iPad play simultaneous sound from multiple sources. If I'm listening to a podcast or whatever and a video pops up, I don't want the second thing to shut down the audio from the first thing.

I want very much for Pratt to be shut out of the November election, but you know that he's going to be a whiny little bitch about it, push the lie that it was somehow rigged against him, and probably sue. Because that is now the default Republican playbook.

I have no idea why it took me 11 days to come up with this as my answer. I fucking hate this self-important, mind-numbingly tedious stinkbomb of a movie more than any other film in recent memory.

These two professional rivals who hate each other and are constantly bickering are about to share a confined vehicle on a dangerous expedition to a remote location. No WAY are they gonna fall in love!

TAPEHEADS!

Hey Celebrities! Stop accepting commercial gigs for gaming and gambling apps! You're risking your reputation to promote a grift! Yeah, YOU, Joel McHale! I'm talking to YOU!

I did not remember 1957's CURSE OF THE DEMON having a scene where they shoot up a catatonic guy with meth.

Svengoolie is having a weird issue tonight where commercials are just randomly inserted into the show, interrupting Sven and cutting off part of the movie. Very annoying.

i begin every job resumé with ‘by the time you read this i’ll be dead’

Because they don't want to give you Latter Day off.

There's so much that I could accomplish if I had a million years to live, but life would still be too short to sit through WUTHERING HEIGHTS even once.

Republicans win by running partisans. Dems lose by running centrists. Dems' takeaway? "WE DIDN'T GO HARD ENOUGH TO THE CENTER!"

I love settling in for a Saturday/afternoon evening with the Stooges, Svengoolie, and Creature Features (or in tonight's case, its summer replacement, "Livingston Presents").

Not many kids lived to become nostalgic about going 75mph the wrong way in the highway. #thanksAI

I don't care if he can sing "La traviata" from memory. He's still another bog-standard Clintonite centrist. No effing thanks.

Does he not know that it was... US who stormed the beaches?

It must be hard for Civil War reenactors to get a group together for one of their dumb little LARPing sessions. Most of them are in Southern states so I gotta imagine there are a lot of times when you get 100 guys wanting to be Confederate soldiers and one very nervous guy on the anti-slavery side.

Barron’s going to be all alone at the children’s table.

I am absolutely *stunned* that a business community built on neoliberalism wants a continuity neoliberal candidate to stay in place for the benefit of the All-Powerful and Sainted Market. STUNNED, I say.

"Turn off notifications for this post." I'll occasionally troll weirdos but I know better than to further engage them. I am strictly hit-and-run. "He who fights and runs away," etc.

"Death of an Insurance Salesman"

I knew that Crazy Neighbor believed the Moon Landing was a Kubrick-directed hoax and thought that the Illuminati later killed Kubrick for revealing too many secrets in EYES WIDE SHUT (weird, though, that they'd let it get made and released), but I only today learned that he's also a Hollow Earther!

"Is horror having a moment?" Yeah, it has a moment whenever things are Bad, which is all of human history.

A backhoe doesn’t do you much good if you’re out front and need a hoe.

Super cool that the grandfather I grew up in a house with,who wouldn't even talk about his time in France during WWII because of the horrors, fought for a country whose defense secretary is now IRL Hitlerposting from Normandy on the anniversary of D-Day.

Woman Adopts Second Cat For First One To Terrorize While She At Work https://theonion.com/woman-adopts-second-cat-for-first-one-to-terrorize-whil-1833065011/

June done busted out all over.