Someone should write romance novels about dudes with average builds and calls them Dad Bodice Rippers.

Me: I got us mozzarella sticks Wife: there is no “us” when there’s cheese involved.

Looks at my stack of first person novels. Yeah. Never trust the narrator, especially if I wrote it 😂

Guy on auto repair video: here is where I use a jack to hold up the oil pan while I take out the last couple bolts. Me, looks at jack literally 4’ away: nah. I’ll just hold it up with my elbow while twisting the wrench in the most awkward angle imaginable.

Wrote a character intro last night and they were a “I’m going to be loud so no one pays attention to me” type. Woke up this morning and realized they are actually a “I’m very unassuming so no one notices me” type. Subtle change but it feels true to the character.

Started outlining a new book last night and realized that I just wanted to get my characters into hell and now that they’re there I don’t know what to do with them.

Just realized adaptions of two of the best novels I’ve read in the last couple years (Caught Stealing & She Rides Shotgun) come out this month. Damn good time to love crime fiction.

Just pitched an anthology to my publisher with no comments other than a title. I’m so good at authoring…

It might save you, or it might kill you. Only one way to find out. #HorrorWritersChat

#horrorwriterschat question 3: In my horror work, the one common theme when it comes to friendship is we’d never make it through this shit alive without each other.

#horrorwriterschat Most of my characters wouldn’t ever leave their houses to meet each other, but from scrolling the feed of the #southerncharmer from my social media horror novel, they all agree that they don’t like Beau.

Hey #horrorwriterschat ! I write books that are too silly to be scary and too scary to be silly. Pretty much every novel starts with “wouldn’t it be funny if…?” And ends with “but wouldn’t it be crazy/terrible/sad if…?”

I think “his only weakness is his family” might be the dude equivalent of “she is a quick-witted badass who is also clumsy”.

22,000 words into what I'm calling the "Filthy Casual LitRPG" novel. I'm not 100% sure where it's going or if I'm completely botching the RPG aspect*, but I'm having fun. *This is why I have beta readers who will call me on my bullshit.

Just got stuck in traffic so long I got bored and routed the wire for my dashcam through the headliner like I’ve been meaning to do for a year now

Had to re-arrange the shelf to make room for the new anthology I edited, All Roads Lead to Hell.

Me trying to come up with names for dishes at a local hipster restaurant for the new novel:

If you’re a fan of demon hunters with bad attitudes trying to survive the Tennessee heat, check out my Southern Demon Hunter series for free on Kindle Unlimited www.amazon.com/Demon-Gotta-...

If you’re a fan of demon hunters with bad attitudes trying to survive the Tennessee heat, check out my Southern Demon Hunter series for free on Kindle Unlimited www.amazon.com/Demon-Gotta-...

If you're a fan of audiobooks, the audio version of THE PALE HOUSE DEVIL is on sale for half price now through August 11th. Just follow the link. www.audiobooks.com/promotions/p...

First stickers to adorn the new truck.

To the guy in the $130k Porsche with the “Don’t tread on me” license plate, who, exactly, do you think is treading on you?

DEAD THINGS, the 1st book in the Eric Carter series is $1.99 in ebook. So, if you like angry necromancers with broken moral compasses, have I got a book for you! www.amazon.com/Dead-Things-... www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/... www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dead-thing... books.apple.com/us/book/dead...

My Mountain City series is once again available on Kindle Unlimited. If you like a series about a fuck up who really just wants to chill w/ his badass wife, check out Necrotown today! a.co/d/1utVZQ9

My Mountain City series is once again available on Kindle Unlimited. If you like a series about a fuck up who really just wants to chill w/ his badass wife, check out Necrotown today! a.co/d/1utVZQ9

5 chapters into the first draft of my filthy casual litRPG novel and it’s starting to feel like a thing.

Writers stop using em dashes to avoid being accused of AI. AI plagiarizes “new” style of writing. Headline: lack of em dashes could be a sign of AI writing. Repeat times infinity.

Tried to go for a hike today and they mountains were so busy I had a mini panic attack and left. Don’t all these people realize I walk through the mountains to get away from them?

I’ve written two days in a row, which doesn’t sound like much but it’s progress and I’ll take it.

The ebook of KILL THE DEAD, the second Sandman Slim novel, is on sale for $1.99 in all formats. The world sucks, so maybe grab a copy so I can keep feeding my cat.

Had an idea for a horror novel today that would likely both be cathartic to write and a bit of a downer to read. So now I just have to figure out how to make it funny. Clearly.

Think I may add my series books back to Kindle Unlimited because I’m too lazy to advertise them otherwise and at least on KU they got a few random page reads …

Looks like this is what AI says Necrotown is about, but I much prefer @grimdarkmagazine.bsky.social ‘s “Nader’s pulp fiction-style writing superbly conveys the noir vibes of Necrotown, striking a nice balance between humor and horror without ever taking itself too seriously.” a.co/d/iFpQfm2

When I first started writing, I didn’t know where the stories came from. Sometimes it took years before I realized why a story came out the way it did. These days I think I’m more aware of the why, but that also creates a weird pressure to live up to the thing I’m feeling. Writing is weird.

Looks like this is what AI says Necrotown is about, but I much prefer @grimdarkmagazine.bsky.social ‘s “Nader’s pulp fiction-style writing superbly conveys the noir vibes of Necrotown, striking a nice balance between humor and horror without ever taking itself too seriously.” a.co/d/iFpQfm2

Tear Me Open: Fears Unwrapped, the newest story collection by two-time Bram Stoker Award-winner Robert P. Ottone, debuts today. Twenty tales of terror that will make you never want to blink again. On sale now: shorturl.at/SDqlv

Theodore thinks you should check out All Roads Lead To Hell, a horror anthology by authors with Winding Road Stories!

If you want to understand difficult books, study them. If you don’t want reading that requires study, read “easy” books you enjoy. Having a computer summarize a novel so you can act like you understood it for conversation’s sake is silly. Read books you enjoy. That’s the point I’m aiming for.

99% sure I’ve figured out the killer in episode 1 of this show. Now I have to wait 6 more weeks to find if I’m right.

Welp. Sinners lived up to every bit of the hype. What a fucking movie.

In an effort to figure out why I stopped listening to Rise Against, I’ve been listening to their most recent album and I honestly have no idea why I stopped listening to them in the first place.

Took my kids to buy themselves their first guitars and then got to come to the rescue when we got home and one had a wiring issue. Peak Father’s Day material right there.

Love seeing this kind of turnout in my town.

Separating art from artist is a very nuanced discussion, but I think my biggest argument that it’s impossible is that if I think about it, I can tell you almost exactly what was happening in my real life based on what novel I wrote at the time.

My story in this anthology is about the Queen of Killers and was inspired by Queen’s song Killer Queen. It was a blast to write. www.amazon.com/All-Roads-Le...

Something has awakened within the walls of little Wren Espinoza's new house... Rootfingers, the new horror novella where art and horror intersect by @themordashin.bsky.social debuts today! www.amazon.com/Rootfingers-...

My novella, Rootfingers, comes out this month. Pre-orders are available now! www.amazon.com/Rootfingers-... What happens when an artist's unearthly muse remains in the house after he dies? The new family moving in is about to find out.

If you’re looking for some awesome authors to follow, check out these folks who are all published by @wrdstories.bsky.social and @michaeldolan.bsky.social . I consider myself lucky to be among such esteemed colleagues.

I used to think Confederate flag and American flag on the same truck was the worst bumper sticker in all of the south. But then they hit me with the Punisher skull, thin blue line, American Flag, with a toupee.