I know everything's going to hell right now, so here's a fun story. My nephew heard that I'd jumped into a 6 foot tall snowpile from a second story once. I told him dont' do this, because it hurt. I heard a thump and a groan from outside a minute ago. Boy just learned. (He's fine, just sore).

Well, shit. I had a tube of superglue in my breast pocket and forgot about it. It leaked on the way in to work. I have superglued my shirt to my chest. This is not a joke.

Hot damn. I've been beating ass at work so much, I'm down 10 lbs (minus water weight) this month. Which, y'know, is a good thing, because busted knees and a rapid weight increase have been a less-than-delightful combination lately. Hopefully the trend continues!

...so at this point, the couch is going about 25 mph, its on fire, and the security team is still chasing us while demanding we pull over, and the cops are laughing their asses off.

Holy hell. I'm still on twitter, half way through migrating, and I see a guy with the name "onefourwords", and the handle "Smiling White Guy". Thread full of Nazi apologists and WP. What the FUCK did I click to get a whole thread of that in the face? Migrating faster as we speak.

What I've been up to: Got a less stressful job fixing arcade machines, got a new (to me) car, built a computer, found out I get pressure-sickness from flying too much, and I just spent a week in Germany helping rescue an American and get them back home. That's only half a joke. I need sleep.

Y'know, having a house full of people is both really nice, and really damn annoying. Sister's husband decided to just abandon her and their three kids, so they're staying with me. 3 Teenagers. I swear to god, I hear TikTok in my sleep now from them blasting it on the tv.

Damn, it's been a minute, huh? How's everybody doing?

Wearing the ✨dress✨

Welp, just gonna put this over here! Courtesy of @ellteo.bsky.social

If you see this, I invite you to post a picture from whatever device you are using without explanation.

Damned if this isn't a mood today.

Today, I learned about James Hong. If you're unaware of that name, Hong voiced Mr. Ping, Po's father from Kung Fu Panda. If you're an 80's baby like me, however, you might know him better from his role in "Big Trouble in Little China", where he FUCKING PLAYED LO PAN. Man, he's in a lot of stuff!

I. GOT. JERB. OFFER. It is time for good scotch and laughing maniacally while typing up my resignation. No more shall I have to worry about getting blasted across a gravel pad by high pressure rotten foodstuff or synthetic faeces. Seriously, my job sucks so much, THAT is a real concern.

I look like this btw If you care

Had a pretty damn good interview this week, and I should hear something next week, one way or the other. Given that my current job has tried to kill me, literally, several times, I'm hoping. I'm too old to be worrying about getting my face blown off or drowned in unmentionable shit.

Hey everyone look at me! I need new examples of my traditional drawn art cuz the stuff on my commission sheet is from 5+ years ago. The pencil stuff. In graphite. But no one commissions it. So I'm doin a raffle. Open until Friday January 5th, 2024. Details on prize(s) and how to enter to follow.

I get cancelled, you get cancelled, we all get cancelled. Big woof! Have a treato. It'll make it better!

I had to replace a radiator in sub-freezing temps, while snow was blowing into my everything last week, and I'm still running on a deficit of fucks to give after that. But i've found I can take out a loan of fucks to give by chugging a can of Monster, so I'm gonna do that and go to a birthday party

I took a nap, and had the most vivid dream about being at work, rebuilding a blown-out pump. Woke up, and got pissed off because I was excited for the overtime pay. I need a vacation.

How the hell did I get, and then break, a fever in under 3 hours? Did I accidentally speedrun the flu?

Someone just blew up a car in the USA/Canada border here in town. Like...bad. Pics gleanes from other reports. Day before a major holiday, I can only hope those guard booths weren't all manned, but...

A crisp high-five to the first person who can guess how long I was at work before something exploded next to me and blasted me into Nega-Flavortown with bacterially-digested foodstuff. Answer: 45 minutes. I want to go home.

So furry people, curiosity question! What was the foundation that made you furry? I've alway hear people say they realized they were furry when they developed a crush on some furry character, but ignoring that, what other signs did you have that you were going to end up a animal on the Internet?

Did you know that there's a mathematical rule which states: "Whatever you have, a coyote can take." It's called the Latransitive property.

I was ordering a cheesecake for family dessert, because I'm not leaving the house, and discovered that you can order sex toys on DoorDash. There, nestled snugly in the results, was a giant pink buttplug with the name "HELLO CAKE BUZZY BUTT" I was not prepared.

On the way home, I got absolutely left in the dust by one of those Rivian Amazon vans. And let me tell you, getting taken to Gapplebee's by something that looks like it belongs in Big Hero 6 is a humbling experience.

I'm aiming this squarely at CERTAIN people in the furry fandom.

They'll be the same size and quality as my Suck it Ableism Pins!

Spider legs use valves and bellows to pressurize the blood and extend (ergo why their legs curl up when they die) This is, incidentally, roughly the same hydraulic principle that fuels a bit of male anatomy Ergo spiders are little balls of eyes walking around on dicks. Octodicks You’re welcome

Hey @tofte.bsky.social . Not sure if you already have this, or it's even sort of relevant, but I think I found some indirect groundwork from R. Crumb.

Octo time >:) (commission for Spageen)

To the 20 year old who just implied I must be a creep for being 40 and still in the fandom, I say this: Some of us were here before the internet; yet you squat in the house we all built, and dare to shit on the carpet, declaring it all yours. Grow up and do better, little sprog.

A bit of an experimental piece with Irina the wyvern that i ended up liking a lot.

It should be illegal for certain people to be left alone with their thoughts. That shit is the mental equivalent of waterboarding. Swear to god, all you have to do to get me huddled in the corner and shaking is put me in an empty room for a couple hours. I'll do the rest.

Penthesilea 🦋

Warmup doodle for @sodabomb.bsky.social

Since a much smaller amount of people follow me here I feel more comfortable speaking my mind. Is my art bad? I try my hardest and it just barely ever goes anywhere and that's a little demoralizing.

I'm not much for incense, but I know some of you got a use for this.

There are days when I hate my job so very much, that I've seriously begun planning an exit that involves lining the bosses bathroom with suction cup dildoes as a surprise resignation.

A friend of mine with Tourettes has taken to putting her tics as captions on otherwise serious images. They are glorious. 😹💛💛 Yes I have her permission to post these and credit her.

Alarms went off at work again. Had to wake up and come in 3 hours early to keep the plant from exploding. Gonna sleep in the office, and woe be unto the first fool who dares to wake me up.

I was reminded today of "the tonsil incident." Apparently, at age 6, I had my tonsils removed, and decided that if I was going to be put to sleep, I was taking the anesthesiologist with me. I headbutted that man so hard, and then kicked him in the balls before the could hold me down.

Took a sick day, had a breakfast scotch, didn't wear pants until noon. I'm doing okay.