I learned today there was a season 12 of red dwarf. Come on son. Prince of the planet pocketers. Smoke me a kipper I'll be back for breakfast. Boys from the dwaaaarf.

A thief believes everyone steals.

What comes next? Hey.

I'd purely love it the jays could get some fire in them without being plunked four times by the same pitcher.

Right. So AI is taking everyone's jobs, we have advisories out for hantavirus, ebola, and measles, the continued closure of the Strait of Hormuz as part of a larger unforced military misadventure is going to crash the global economy due to a lack of oil /1

Buckets of beer There on a pallet Open them up with a chisel and mallet Buckets of Light Beer In my Shed You got 24 cans I can crush on my head Buckets of beer From a garage Hoping the beer doesn't taste like gar-bage Buckets don't come with Guarantees Hoping the beer won't leave me on my knees.

This tweet, for a Ross Barkan story that copied my lede and reporting, now has more than 10x the views of the original. Ross hasn't apologized or acknowledged it; maybe he's just waiting for me to shut up. Without any explanation, I'm left to wonder how many times he's done this

Thinking back on it, the following might be an all-timer in terms of JSJ banter: Woman passing me on the CNE midway: "All men are trash." JSJ: "Hey. I used to be one of those." The dumbfounded look of about 15 seconds was very entertaining. I guess there were a lot of ways you could take that.

Blew completely through spring in two days and I am now able to guiltlessly declare it gin and tonic time. Blew right by maibock.

This is a deeply stupid man.

"We're going to replace all of you! Enjoy your student debt and penury! Why are they booing?"

And a macaque to be named later.

Just had one of those annoying approaches from a journalist asking me to type answers to their questions, which I regard as writing for free. Won't do it. Worse still they didn't call them questions. They called them 'prompts'. I am not an effing AI.

This guy is so very much an Andy Daly improv character that it hurts me to look at him.

Tired: Clavicular Wired: I'm so tired of this year, guys.

Somewhere, Will Forte is inconsolable.

I went to a costume shop today to pick up records from an online auction and met what looked to be a Pomeranian named "Destroyer." The dog kicked a toy at me and looked expectantly. I threw it and he savaged it like an errant snausage. I believe that dog may have been a Doberman in disguise.

On the bright side, he'll be hosting a press conference at The Pearly Gates Landscaping and Farm Supply.

There's a lot of buzz about it.

My new cookware has a steamer basket and I'm so excited, you guys. So boring. So old. But so full of steamed broccoli.

Kash Patel: Piss Artist

So much depends upon a red X arrow.

So instead of letting him cook, someone's going to turn us. Writers are gettin' lazy. Expecting Reginald T. Bankruptcy by next year.

The caged bird may sing of freedom, but the cat isn't necessarily going to cross through the open door.

Gandalf on bass.

One wonders whether the sex symbol-ness of an Iggy Pop is undercut by his obvious sciatica and the higher posterior accented right hip. Probably not for anyone who likes Iggy Pop. So, when you call the president's mental state into question and wonder why people still support him....

www.cbc.ca/news/canada/... Made the papers, I guess.

Oh shit. The last tanker shipment to North America coincides with Tax day and they made huge changes to the tax code that are as yet unproven. pitchforks?

Man, what did Alan Parsons ever do to Iran to get owned this badly.

*Stupidly* We don't need the straits. David Knopfler couldn't handle it. Quit the band like a dog. Pick Withers. What a terrible name. Dire. They're Dire Straits. We don't need them. I'm more of a Joe Jackson guy. Thank you for your attention to this matter!!!

Pope Leo: "I have no fear, neither of the Trump administration nor speaking out loudly about the message of the gospel."

Hell yeah. Csabai and goulash for everyone.

It's bloor station and on the way home on a night out, but the sour faces here are distrusting of the spring. Everyone is too heavily togged and glaring daggers at each other for being so disappointing to look at on a day no one trusts. The busker is playing soulful piano and singing.

I think we better too late too little before we too little too late.

And there's the second part of the piece I had written about beer in Czechia. It's a bit of an Easter meditation, I suppose. I think it's about as well as I've ever done. saintjohnswort.ca/adventures-i...

Half of my enjoyment of bluesky and twitter comes from annoying @ronsexsmith.bsky.social with ridiculous doggerel.

Since it's Easter, and since the original post got taken down over at Good Food Revolution, I'm repatriating a piece I quite like about Czech Beer on my own website. Also, I have to deliver some Zivotni to the Czech Consultate. saintjohnswort.ca/adventures-i...

Could we try not winning in overtime?

You know what's pretty good? 7-Up. I think it's lemonier than it was.

JSJ Banter, One Elevator Edition. *Gets on a downbound car after seven minutes* JSJ: Well, at least they'll be working tomorrow. Older Man: Oh, yes. That'll be nice. JSJ: If they can get them to go sideways I'll be all for it. Six year old: Really? JSJ: Nope.

The Supreme Court ruled that nobody is a U.S. citizen Chief Justice Roberts stated “No person can be in this country. We all have to leave. Now.” The judges packed up their robes and are getting on a boat

I thought the Woman of Tomorrow comic did a pretty good job without Lobo, but I can see how you might not want to deal with the reality bending magic murder ball and edge of the narrative universe stuff. Good to know he's a reality bending level of bad bad bastich.

He has a bimboification kink? That old chest nut.

The worst part is that because he didn't get there on time, next year he's free.

Oh, no, please walk Varsho to face the all time single post season hit leader in a clutch situation.

Man, I love Kirky.

They continue to escalate against a broadly rational and proportional response that announces their targets prior to hitting them. Only one side here is behaving with honour and it ain't the ones who started it.

I swear, the next person who unironically uses the term 'warfighter' to describe soldiering should be put on permanent KP and become a potatofighter.

"Varus, give me back my legions." ---Probably Hegseth. Probably soon.

We're a little bit punchy.