The vibe of twitter right now is "dark alleyway".

So today I learned that many people including myself have accidentally stabbed themselves with a pencil in the palm at one point and still have the graphite stuck in their skin.

Oh my gosh you guys! The House just passed my bill to extend the health care tax credits for three more years!

Sorry, I'll have to tentatively agree to plans next week. I'm 30 so anybody in my family could possibly be in the hospital then.

Sorry, I'll have to tentatively agree to plans next week. I'm 30 so anybody in my family could possibly be in the hospital then.

Can't keep ordering door dash. I need a feature where they drop it off somewhere halfway and I'll come get it from there.

Napalm Era.

Jump in the line rock your body in time. ALRIGHT! I GET IT. I BELIEVE YOU! STOP IT NOW.

Waiting for that Kpop Demon Hunters video game.

If I was a restaurant in DC I would create a booth reserved specifically for the president to dine in. We'd call it the John Wilk-*gunshots"

We should put that man inside of a box. And then put that box inside of another box. And then mail that box to ourselves. And when it arrives... We smash it with a hammer!!

Alright so in the Mulan song "I'll Make a Man Out of You" when Ling says "Boy was I a fool in school for cutting gym" I THOUGHT (mind you I'm 4) that this man CUT a MAN NAMED JIM.

Misinformed people love starting a sentence off with "apparently"

I feel like this should be the one to move everyone over here but ALAS

Misinformed people love starting a sentence off with "apparently"

Alright so in the Mulan song "I'll Make a Man Out of You" when Ling says "Boy was I a fool in school for cutting gym" I THOUGHT (mind you I'm 4) that this man CUT a MAN NAMED JIM.

🍩🥐

Be well.

Super unfortunate Adobe icon in this day and age

Clair de Lune by Debussy was like that generation's Tarzan soundtrack by Phil Collins.

Super unfortunate Adobe icon in this day and age

Merry Crimble though. I hope that love enters your homes.

I knew I'd come back here and have a bunch of new followers but at WHAT COST???

The Wizard of Oz (Dorothy n'em)

Pretty weird that you have to be dead to have your face on a coin and that date says 2026 🤨🤨

dude slid into my DMs today proclaiming i'll never be a woman i responded that i feel bad for him that he'll never know what it is to show up vulnerably and authentically in his life, to feel seen and loved unconditionally for who he truly is he basically responded "no you" and blocked me lol

My dumbass spilled (at two different points in the day) a bottle of febreze and rosemary mint oil. This has my room smelling of the most interesting linens and focaccia

My dumbass spilled (at two different points in the day) a bottle of febreze and rosemary mint oil. This has my room smelling of the most interesting linens and focaccia

THEY WORRIED ABOUT THE WRONG SORA. WHERE IS KINGDOM HEARTS 4?

MAGAZINER: How many veterans have you deported? NOEM: We haven't deported veterans MAGAZINER: We are now joined on Zoom by a combat veteran you deported to Korea

I hope none of you EVER experience that

I pray you don't get this throat COVID. I've never felt anything like it.

Sore throat feels like I was gargling razor blades.

lol do you know that we're utterly insane?

Pinterest is mad funny when I'm looking for reference and it already knows what board I'm gonna put it in. Like yeah man, you know the vibes.

Epcot should have an attraction about nostalgia where its a walkthrough that shows how people remember certain decades vs how they actually were. It's educational and would never become defunct and it's not based on an IP.

Social media has become less social and more "Follow Media". A bunch of sheep looking for a Shepard.

That boy Pinocchio TOO REAL

That boy Pinocchio TOO REAL

Gabriel's Horn

What if we discovered that every racist person was dropped on their head as a baby?

Gabriel's Horn

Sure I "cooked" And I also "ate" But can I also have AND eat my cake?

Charlie Brown had sons.

Epcot should have an attraction about nostalgia where its a walkthrough that shows how people remember certain decades vs how they actually were. It's educational and would never become defunct and it's not based on an IP.

6,7 is funny to you?? 7 literally ATE 9 you sicko

Some of you haven't been doing the Noodle dance and it SHOWS.

What if Lily Gladstone was Wonder Woman