i can be easily won over with promises of jazzy trumpet solos and unusual flavors of lip balm

unintentionally dressed as a CaFae Latte character @cmalongi.bsky.social

i saw a squirrel today and realized i needed to get out more when my first thought upon watching this squirrel clamber up a fence post was that i hadn't seen a squirrel in a while. i live in colorado. we have so many squirrels.

quick! someone with better art skills than me!! draw huntr/x as charlie's angels but they're bobby's angels

never posted my sign for the second no kings, so here it is. it's a play off one from the vietnam ear

i wish my cat would pet me back

me @ loki: stop tricking me into taking naps

i just love the sight of "so much water vapor from my humidifier it's visible in the air" in the morning

i'm nothing but three contradictions in a trench coat

may his next life be spent atoning for the actions he took in this one.

i'm so tired, i'm having trouble summoning an outward expression of the rage i feel inside whenever i watch the news. the most i can manage is tears too small to cry.

my sign for the labor day march and rally. remember, there's more of us than there are of them.

poly people: We should be able to be with as many or few people as we like as long as everything is safe/sane/consensual some dumbass: so i should be able to have as many wives as i want me: technically yes, if they wanted to be your wives back, but i don't think that's what's going on here

the english language is my favorite toy to break

accidentally gave myself the most enby-coded name. hi, my name is BLUEJAY, jay for short, they/them.

open.spotify.com/playlist/5Rq... #nokings

i'm more attached to my flamingo cup than i am most people

when i catch my thumb nail on fire with the lighter, i think it might be time to trim my claws a little

are you going to eat olives in bed, b asks, like that's a sensible question to be asking of the boy who just opened a can of olives at 3am

am i cold? yes. am i going to move my cat who is snuggling with me so i can pull up the covers? hell no lol

Donald Trump is embarrassing the United States on the world stage. We are a country that stands up to dictators and fights for democracy. Minnesota stands firmly with our allies in Ukraine.

Pass it on. #StandWithUkraine

"History will remember this day— when an American President and Vice President abandoned all we stand for."

weird al in 1985: i'll be playing [luke skywalker] til i'm old and gray mark hamill 2015: bet

titty bounce like jello or waterbed

Governor Walz has it right. I miss hearing his plain, common sense talk.

i live by 2 rules 1. go big or go home 2. commit to the bit

people think i'm funny but really i'm just quoting red vs blue

i either text seven short messages in a row or one big paragraph with no punctuation there is no in between no i will not be taking criticism at this time

on one hand, i hate that i will never read all the books i want to read on the other, i love that i will never run out of books i want to read

For those of you desperately in need of distraction from today's headlines, here's a photo of a bunny & a chick who are friends.

i want someone to take a couple of timpani mallets to my back like a meat tenderizer until i turn into jelly

sunday nail day!!

I miss Clippy.

When life gives you lemons, use them to keep your apples fresh so you can at least ward off the doctors.

freud would have a field day with my oral fixation

The Gays(tm) evil plans to track people through vaccines: their vacchinations

You can convince me to do a lot by bribing me with a jazzy trumpet solo.

my nonbinary ass has a gym bro locked inside, i can taste it. my problem is i'm just gym if i have no bros. is there a buddy system i can sign up for?

I can't be trusted with the English language

this post brought to you by a childhood full of star trek the next generation

i want to bathe in string cheese while the house burns down around me.

A story called "love at first bite" but it's just like "yeah, when we were four she bit me so hard it bled and I think I've been a little in love with her ever since"

Be a fight. Have a fuck.

i'm so funny why does no one like my posts

Surely I'm not the only one getting this vibe from the Switch 2's joycons:

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the lord my soul to reap And if I die before I wake Thank God, I need a fucking break.