It’s equally ridiculous to do this to small children, for the fucking record

I broke my DNF run with a ridiculous horror novel called Trad Wife and just recently started The Goldfinch by my fellow Daily Mississippian writer Donna Tartt. Feeling much better.

Do y’all know where the majority of college students live in Jackson? Like JSU/Millsaps/Belhaven dorm overflow?

What a lovely morning at this farmer’s market. The temperature is still low, humidity isn’t quite oppressive, a nice breeze. Then I saw Andy fuckass Gipson.

Second birthday dinner in as many weeks with my community and I’m crying in my car for the Stacey of a year ago who almost missed out on all of this. I’m so glad I held on.

Help, I can’t stop watching videos of the contested incumbent congresswoman from Michigan and attempting her accent

YOU HEARD IT HERE FROM THE GOAT FIRST

hugging your girlfriend from behind and making her count to 10 so you can do the 6 7 thing with her boobs

The last hour of work has been a sitcom episode. Thankful I didn’t try to tackle the big complicated project and took on the small simple ones instead. Still,

nope @notowenmeany.bsky.social

Praying for the good people of Pigfucker and Horsecock Junction

Does anyone own the two fattest cats ever in existence, I found an apartment for you

I spent 20 minutes talking to Mitch McConnell today. He said the Falcons blew a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl. Guy’s still got it.

I’m my son’s emotional support person when he needs a blood draw which is crazy because I’m straight up crying screaming throwing up trying not to see blood

I know that it aired 5 years ago but season 2 of Ted Lasso has a heavy focus on suicide in case that’s a trigger for anyone else. I got knocked pretty sideways by it tonight.

This was not the outcome I’d hoped for. His poor mama, goodness gracious.

That Platner news is as surprising as the sun setting in the west

Shitty news about Mayor Lumumba. He tipped me 50% once, which covers a multitude of sins imo

Yesterday’s episode of This American Life has a feature on Sleeping Bear Dunes that’s just freakin delightful. One guy just keeps going “I should have listened to my wife” over and over again 🤣🤣 Even my hubris has limits.

Hell yeah Wordle

I miss doing improv SO BAD, lord have mercy. It’s truly the only thing I miss about Oxford.

I truly cannot wait to move into a retirement community.

JUST FOLD THE LAUNDRY, STACE.

Congratulations to me for going 11 years without being arrested, it’s my second biggest record

Cannot stop thinking about the donuts my dad brought over yesterday 😩

I wish I would never read the comments about Mississippi from people whose entire states were built on white flight Wishing that many people would die can’t be great for my soul

Both This specific one is in Jackson but they’re all over the white flight suburbs too

Enough time has passed that we can all look back and admit that Carmy was an asshole for turning it from an Italian beef joint to a fine dining restaurant

Look at this adorable-ass clock in the bookstore/coffee shop I just went to

Lady at the gas station said “whew, thank ya Donny” and winked at me before she got in her car and I said “yeah I know right” before I processed what she said

You’re never the only one who anything

When God was creating Hannah Waddingham, he was like “more. Nah, give her more. Keep going. Give her more. Just a little bit mo- nah, dump it all out.”

I am not ready

I keep yelling “WOULD” and “DAMN” every time Matthew Rhys is on screen in Widow’s Bay and apparently I’m “rUiNiNg tHe sHoW” Really though what’s the deal with Welsh men, has anyone studied that

In the alternate universe where I got all the joy I deserved, I’m buying my oldest daughter her first legal drink today. In this fuckass universe, she’s just an angel on my wrist. I miss her and the dreams she took with her.

Khruangbin is not the right background music for today at work. It’s a day for copaganda. Body cams of drunk white guys getting arrested on deck.

Can they put 300-500 of these junts in the reflecting pool, or how’s that work

bLuEsKy dOeSn’T tALk aBoUt sPorTs

I’m no longer struggling to figure out my job but I am realizing that working at a nonprofit for homelessness prevention is one long, labored guzzle from a firehose

As though my life depended on it,

Just finished The Perfect Neighbor

How long should I wait on hold for Comcast if they did the remote modem restart and said they’d be back in 10 minutes

You gotta be a real psycho to get restricted on Twitter, man

McKenzie’s turtles

Having the weirdest and most annoying connectivity issues at work today. I need ice cream.

Canal & Tchoup.

Dad 1: dead, complicated Dad 2: alive, good

real moistissippi hours. it's all just pooling up now.

Was moments from getting on the interstate in Chunky when I saw this

Enjoy Elmo Arby's.