Tapping sadly on the window of the swan sanctuary with one of two Pringles cans I’ve got stuck on my hands, sobbing “yes it *has* happened again, please don’t make me go to the people hospital”

Water. Smarties Easter Egg. 'Train Dreams' (2025).

I need to photograph a spliff for a design job, but due to a lack of... resources... I've got to work with what's available. #doingaSpaced

aspirational

If you enjoy my creations please do give me a follow. Tell your friends, share, show any support you can. I'm actively seeking creative work so would be great to work on some exciting projects where I can utilise my skills and really make a positive impact in 2026 www.robotwig.com Thanks Steve

'25 was an odd one, though with the usual mix of highs and hiccups. Actually feel a little apprehensive about '26. Right now though it is 11.38pm and I'm off to bed to read and let the world turn on it's own. Happy new year people. x

Guinness. Pork Scratchings. "The Great Flood" (2025)

The Christmas Fret.

The Christmas Fret.

This Christmas morning brings the most important of questions: Dragons. Would they poo on the ground or in flight?

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, no even the soundbar which is having a bit of a funny turn and won't turn up properly. Merry Christmas everyone. x

After a wee sort and stocktake, I have it seems two lonesome, festive ghosts available. £10 each (plus a fiver P&P - UK only) if anyone needs a last minute pressie? (Their names are Joy and Noel)

Just a reminder that there's a Will Shakespeare miniseries from the heyday of BBC historicals starring Tim Curry as Shakespeare and Ian McShane as Marlowe, and it's on youtube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpxC...

Intense internal pain followed by slighty brown wee? Yay! Kidney Stone Day came!

Ooh! My ghosts of Christmas presents by @timyouster.bsky.social have arrived. I thought they would be little! But they are HUGE.

LAST CHANCE! I have to close my Ghostly orders tonight! (Probably at the stroke of midnight, because vibes) So today is your final opportunity to grab yourself a spooky wee friend, or that idea gift for any special weirdos in your life. ghostofchristmaspresents.bigcartel.com

LAST CHANCE! I have to close my Ghostly orders tonight! (Probably at the stroke of midnight, because vibes) So today is your final opportunity to grab yourself a spooky wee friend, or that idea gift for any special weirdos in your life. ghostofchristmaspresents.bigcartel.com

And to all a Merry Krampusnacht.

Last chance alert! Just today and tomorrow to grab a friendly spook before Christmas, then all gone for this year! (Also, I'll stop spamming y'all about them.) ghostofchristmaspresents.bigcartel.com

Down to my very last Festive Spirit! Who'll home this lonely spook?! ghostofchristmaspresents.bigcartel.com

Last chance alert! Just today and tomorrow to grab a friendly spook before Christmas, then all gone for this year! (Also, I'll stop spamming y'all about them.) ghostofchristmaspresents.bigcartel.com

This is your Final Week Klaxon! I'll be closing Ghostly orders this coming Friday 5th December! This gives me time to craft and post out orders before Christmas. ghostofchristmaspresents.bigcartel.com

When you find a note to yourself, written about 15 years ago... Nope. Not a scoobies...

This is your Final Week Klaxon! I'll be closing Ghostly orders this coming Friday 5th December! This gives me time to craft and post out orders before Christmas. ghostofchristmaspresents.bigcartel.com

I've no connection to Shrewsbury, nor do I have a particular interest in jigsaws but DEAR GOD this is fantastic and ticks the niche planning-obsessive-typographical-joy boxes. Brilliant stuff! Love it! (Do Coventry and I'm all in ;) )

Ooooh exciting. Apparently Tim's plan to 'Sell-Ghosts-Pay-His-Tax-Bill' has evolved to 'Sell-Ghosts-Buy-New-Dumbass-Washing-machine' Yay!

Ghosts with wet bottoms! The first wave of spooky cuties are drying and getting ready for posting out to their new homes. This is your early payday reminder that if you want a Ghost for Christmas then you'all need to order them very quickly! ghostofchristmaspresents.bigcartel.com

Ghosts with wet bottoms! The first wave of spooky cuties are drying and getting ready for posting out to their new homes. This is your early payday reminder that if you want a Ghost for Christmas then you'all need to order them very quickly! ghostofchristmaspresents.bigcartel.com

Ahhh, so they're NOT egg layers.

You can buy my out-of-print portal fantasy, Pseudotooth, directly from me, all signed and doodled in. This book made at least two readers miss their stops on the train. ko-fi.com/s/7292dd0671

"Fine! Whatever! I'll make a ghost with boobs, now will everyone stop asking for one!" Tim shouted into the silent, empty room.

Because no one premotes the self employed but themselves, here's a thing! Go! Quick! Before the rush! Order the pretty things! (UK only I'm afraid) ghostofchristmaspresents.bigcartel.com

Because no one premotes the self employed but themselves, here's a thing! Go! Quick! Before the rush! Order the pretty things! (UK only I'm afraid) ghostofchristmaspresents.bigcartel.com

Some say the collective noun is a Fraid of Ghosts. Well, these little friendly spooks are all off to market - Tomorrow at Scarborough Market Hall and Vaults, 9 - 4pm. They may also be available online next week for anyone looking for the perfect Ghost Of Christmas Present.

Some say the collective noun is a Fraid of Ghosts. Well, these little friendly spooks are all off to market - Tomorrow at Scarborough Market Hall and Vaults, 9 - 4pm. They may also be available online next week for anyone looking for the perfect Ghost Of Christmas Present.

Me, setting an important reminder for tomorrow.

On this day 30 years ago I did a tandem skydive. I had turned 18 two days previous, and it was my first time up in a plane. No one managed to get a proper photo of me in the actual plummeting stage alas.

On this day 30 years ago I did a tandem skydive. I had turned 18 two days previous, and it was my first time up in a plane. No one managed to get a proper photo of me in the actual plummeting stage alas.

Celebrating my last day of Club 47 with a hot bath, decadent Tesco own brand mint choc chip Cornetto and KPop Demon Hunters. Like a growdup.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, But you wanna come round for lunch? I'm havin' mash n' gravy.

I SAW A STOAT! #IamhappybecauseIsawastoat

I SAW A STOAT! #IamhappybecauseIsawastoat

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, But you wanna come round for lunch? I'm havin' mash n' gravy.

In bed and need the toilet. But if I get up I will have to solidify and become human and conform to all the rules and social norms that are required. So I stay under the duvet, just a formless mass with an uncomfortably full bladder.

When your 2 week long headache stops you staring at a screen, at least there's some therapeutic clay to play with.

When your 2 week long headache stops you staring at a screen, at least there's some therapeutic clay to play with.

“An example of the town of the future is Coventry.... Traffic and pedestrians are kept apart and the roads are planned to let traffic flow smoothly” (Our Land in the Making, 1966) Artist: Ronald Lampitt