Just had a fuckoff Japanese dinner with the missus #sorted

Wait your baby pics are cunt

Trump immediately after meeting with Zohran Mamdani:

My mayor’s zinc and pineapple diet worked 🙌🙌

125k gold coins in the bank for telling this guy im a 36D 🙌 Sorted.

Markiplier for nypd commissioner

still geeking from standing in front of the phidias aphrodite from the parthenon and kissing the love of my life #notsorry

When I close my eyes I dont see darkness.

Man orders $30 of drinks, 2 millers 2 jameson tips $7, offers me a shot, tells me hes 100% Navajo (i believe him). He goes outside, has half of one drink and his shot, offers the rest to everyone else, tells them he’s 100% Navajo, leaves the bar. So upon hearing this later i simply refunded it all

wittegenstein. . .

mate my mobile got nicked by an artful dodger at corsica while sgt poke was on the mic saying “JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES” and mind you i did -_-

other than eva and i theres one doll at tempa putting her whole pussy into it w her cis gf its mad

my opinion of british alcohol culture has changed forever upon learning their ‘singles’ are only 1oz pours and priced so too

Getting stern looks from the wizened posh ladies of Babylon

Somehow the doner kebab exceeded all expectations FUCK !!! # foodie # welcometolondon

I nearly met a watery end in Dingle Bay

Wake up mom the third-worldists are making the world’s least impressive discoveries and telling on how stupid they are again !!! The sad militants of desire

I’m about to vote for my neighbor’s cat as the Ridgewood/City council district 30 candidate 😁

your honor.. six seven

my landlords voice booming up to the 4th floor from outside “WHO IS GONNA PAY FOR MAMDANI??? YOU ARE!!!!” I don’t have the heart to tell him…

“Every parade has a right to exist in NYC” finally some fucking delightful ontology in this academy !!!

From my mother’s first marriage certificate, occupation “fit model” (she likely mentioned being an FIT student who also modeled), living in Queens 😭😌

after my uncle proofreads it im sending my app in tmrw :’) proud and happy its done… 26 pages of forms/documents/scans!! hashtag friYay ❣️

I think I'm lowkey an angel.

Wherever you are, I hope you’re still fujoing out

If you ever want to apostille a name change order you need to first get a live signature from the city clerk’s office, which may be same-day or 1-3 business days. Then go to the county clerk office @ the Supreme Court, same day, short/fast line. Finally Sec State @123 Williams, dmv-tier wait.

Whole world khia

Running into Miranda at 5am in the spirit lga terminal , really a confirmation my path is lit and this ridiculously long bureaucratic quest will work out

Je suis Jimmy

Please where is Ms Twig’s gofundme let’s get this diva her DB face !!

Guy trying to sell me molly at wykoff deli lowered his voice and described himself as DL. Didnt know you could do that

whatever man ❣️

Gang weed

rooftop..

today we nerdled

kkkracker barrel: the myth of the white proletariat, same font and setting, remove the guy and barrel, think hard

Hmm feeling a bit decroded at work tonight

how it feels closing the bar late then 4 hours of sleep , out of house by 8 nearly miss train to philadelphia for dual citizenship docs then back on amtrak home 20 mins after lunch

You have been visited by the spirit of hypermasculinity. May you say something and run it back immediately for the presence of the woman you love! And swear to get jacked

Marked safe from Jupiter Disco

Marked safe from funny bar

Marked safe from July

Get on that peloton and PICK A HORSE

just had a fuckoff steak and tuna crudo dinner with the missus for our third anniversary MAY IT CONTINUE !!!!! BOSH !!!!!!

Moby Dick and new MIGHTY ac unit >>>>

Just got a fuckoff mayonnaise salt and pepper sandy from deliman !!! He said no roast beef for you maam !!

If the new ac unit arriving tmrw doesnt fix this we back on the buzz

anyone else really overheated from it being to hot outside

Yugiohness… time to duel darling !!