Ben: I’m going to misgender you for the bit, okay? Me: 👍 Ben: Amirite, ladies??

Until basic universal income? 20%. It’s a skilled service

curly hair is an adventure because sometimes you wake up and it looks great and sometimes you wake up and it looks incomprehensibly bad and there is no way to know what kind of day today is going to be until, like Perseus, you tiptoe to take a fateful look into the mirror

Check out our new publication based on my master’s thesis! link.springer.com/article/10.1...

I realized the car is almost old enough to drive herself, so excuse me while I walk into the river

Of course I pre-ordered David Duchovny’s new book of poetry, I’m not an animal

My 15 year old Toyota and I are alike in that the only thing holding us together is spite, and by god if I’m not allowed to break down, neither is she

I messaged my mechanic about a new sound my car is making and he texted back “hey that’s not good”. Thoughts and prayers for my wallet are requested at this time 🙏🏻

The house next door to mine is for sale, so I’m watering the garden wearing “Abortion is Healthcare” and “Protect Queer Youth” shirts during showings, in a subtle attempt to lure new friends

I’m in my Darkness Falls Scully era 🛸

You either die young (2005 Panic! at the Disco) or live long enough to see yourself become the villain (2022 Panic! at the Disco)

Good boy, Brown Bear 💙

We have a twenty year age gap, so it’s been a bit of a wait, but I finally have a baby brother who will message me “Detroit winning 12-2” with no context. I’m suddenly so much better informed about sports

Can’t believe in 2025 schools still have attendance awards, and focus on attendance over child wellbeing… Attendance awards for 100% attendance, are promoting and encouraging children to go to school when sick… whilst harming & punishing disabled children

Sometimes in my living room, if you listen really close, you can hear the distant sounds of my husband singing about laundry in Kermit’s voice from the basement

“Could you please be quiet? I’m trying to sleep” “And I’m reading Lovecraft to the dog as a bedtime story. We all have destinies to fulfil”

Gift of the Year Award winner right here 🥹💕

After my third joke, a health meter bar appears over my therapist’s head

Are we feeling more “I don’t think you should complain about immigrants on stolen land” or “flying a pride flag doesn’t excuse Obama’s war crimes in the Middle East” for tomorrow?

Not now sweetie, I’m being insane about gilliana with the other chronically online gays

"can you write an essay about the joy you're finding right now?" no but I can scream for 26 continuous seconds would that work

Sometimes I wonder if Bigfoot is, like so many of us, also trying to find himself.

It’s the first day of their summer vacation, and my baby siblings (6 & 8) video called to show me the PowerPoint they made about their dog. The nerd gene is dominant in this family

I grew potatoes!!

Just a reminder that horses don’t owe us anything, so please consider their safety in this heat!

“Oh my god! You’re Gomez! A short king!”

“The bags under your eyes make you look like you’re from the Addams family” -husband

Ask me about how to get uninvited, I’m semi-pro

A couple walks past my house with their dog and baby most weekend mornings, and I’m always in the yard doing some project just outside of my skill level. This morning the woman said, “you just don’t stop. Are you okay?”

Of course I snuck the line “on the basis of sex” into my dissertation proposal document. Anything for our queen

Art by Liberal Jane

Such a cool night to shoot!!

There have been so, so many times in my life that people have mistaken me for a vegetarian and I NEED to know what it is about me that’s giving vegetarian vibes

My biggest piece of advice is to marry someone equally enthralled by Jurassic Park 🦕🦖

My supervisor making sure I’m hard at work, but fell asleep on the job 🤔

I think it’s really important to get a crispy sunburn a week before standing up in your friend’s wedding. You know, to keep your hubris in line

this is a letter to the editor from a high school track runner who came in second to a trans girl in a race. her state house rep in maine started talking about it. so she wrote this: www.pressherald.com/2025/05/14/r...

I think it’s only appropriate that my dog and I sleep side by side under our own weighted blankets

Most R users are ride or die. They’ll sing its praises unprompted. I am not one of them. I approach R wrapped in a blanket and ready to cry

It’s important to bathe your pony, so he has a fresh canvas to get muddy again but in new and different ways

This week’s MVP is the friend that came over to fold my clothes while I wrote my dissertation, and then proceeded to read the current draft. That’s a real one

Happy one year wedding (and eleven total) anniversary, my love 🩷

Happy anniversary to that time a few years ago someone wished me a happy Mother’s Day because “one day, you’ll be a mother” and I lost the afternoon to generating all the ways that’s offensive and gross

I sent Ben a fantastic meme, and he immediately sent it in a group chat. No credit, just straight plagiarism. Absolutely criminal behaviour

Paid for the whole seat, but only used the edge on this one Wordle 1,421 6/6 ⬜🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟨🟨🟩⬜🟨 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩