Parenting Still Life 15: Toddler's Self-Portrait with Imaginary Friend. Medium: Refrigerator magnets. #parenting

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a toddler, upon discovering a bra pad, must place it upon their head and wear it as a hat. #parenting

Okay, but just think of it. In five years' time, the war is over. Zelenskyy's presidential term ends. And he GOES ON TOUR.

Feeling very enlightened since my 4yo taught me that porcupines are called that because their spiky things are called porks, and they use them to pork you.

Thing no.1 pre-parent Elisabeth didn't know she needed in her life: A sensitive little boy who says "awwww, iss broken!" and mourns over the sadness of the ripped knees in my beater jeans.

Tfw you're burping your baby and she lets out a burp so massive that you can feel her entire body deflate

I'm not usually the "kids these days have it so good" type, but I took my kids to urgent care and the doctor gave them POPSICLES When I was a kid, in my wildest dreams never would I EVER

Parenting Still Life #14: Two Weeks Later THEY'RE MULTIPLYING. That's the original three in the distance, with the newest one in the foreground.

Google just replaced its thesaurus function, which was my most frequent type of Google search, with an AI overview. Gag me with a pitchfork. Though I guess this finally forces me to make the jump over to Merriam-Webster.

Parenting Still Life #14: Sticky Gecko. This episode of Bluey has been going on for a week, with no end in sight.

Parenting Still Life #12: A Dinosaur Dance & Parenting Still Life #13: A Mommy Dinosaur Reading a Bedtime Story to Her Baby Dinosaurs

IN THIS HOUSE we skip inconvenient Candyland cards

There is nothing quite like the high of wordsmithing a perfect sentence, or string of sentences, into existence. I think I just wrote the most beautiful paragraph I've ever written in my life, and I feel positively luminous.

Parenting Still Life #10: Concerning

Parenting Still Life #09: A Convocation of Elephants.

4yo, playing store: what would you like to buy? husband: a donut, ketchup, a mushroom, and another mushroom, and a bird... 4yo: well, you can have the bird as a friend. because we do NOT eat birds. husband: ...right. hey, thinking ahead about dinner, were you wanting some chicken nuggets tonight?

Being 9 months pregnant, with 2 small children, and all the toys that entails, has pushed me to finally perfect the Andy's Mom Foot Sweep.

My husband, while watching The Little Mermaid: "Ursula underestimated men's ability to just settle for someone that works."

While watching If You Give a Mouse a Cookie with the kids: Me: So do you think these are all supposed to be imaginary friends? Husband: No, I think this is a world where there are talking beasts...and morality has been replaced with causality.

New deals announced for @sajnipatelbooks.bsky.social @brandontsnider.bsky.social @elisabeth-k.bsky.social @eloisenarrigan.com + more buff.ly/AGn07t6

Parenting Still Life #08: INNOVATION.

"We have these books. We have these books. WE HAVE THESE BOOKS That’s a miracle—but not a rare miracle. A miracle like a sunrise, or a strange cloud, or a weird bird. A miracle that happens often, that maybe we don’t appreciate enough. It’s special. Stories are special. Storytellers are special."

Toddler backwash from your water tumbler is the REAL spice of life. Sugary-cupcake-icing-flavored backwash was the sampling my husband was treated to this evening!

Spotify Wrapped: Parent Edition, courtesy of my elephant-obsessed son.

Parenting Still Life #07: A Hamburger Bun Left Alone for Thirty Seconds #parenting #parentlife

Parenting Still Life #06: A Rearranged Silverware Drawer

I am once again at that stage in pregnancy where I'm deeply, viscerally reminded that maternity jeans are the absolute worst.

Why did the writer cross the road? To figure out if the cure to chicken anxiety was on the other side.

I have to say, I have never met a silver lining quite like the fleeting but INTENSE satisfaction of scratching a bug bite or blowing your nose while suffering from allergies.

Just finally got caught up with Stranger Things, and really my only gripe about Season 4 is Hopper's feet.

Parenting Still Life #5: A Mom Purse

Parenting Still Life #4: Rice Grains and Puzzle Pieces on the Master Bed #parenting

applying for jobs again

People have been telling me for years to read Howl's Moving Castle. I've finally started it and two paragraphs in I'm SOLD.

Parenting Still Life #3. The doorway to a supposedly empty room. I'm afraid to enter. Is it a shrine? A ward? To keep away the pixies? The children know something I don't.

Every day I get a large mocha frappe from McDonald's, but today we had a huge snowstorm, which obviously means I had to shovel out my driveway and brush down my car to go get my frozen coffee.

Why I love children: because my 1-year-old little son blew kisses at the DMV lady as we left today.

Day-job-wise: moved to a fully remote, less stressful position in a new company, which has had a terrific trickledown effect. Writing-wise: ran my book through 36 beta readers. But most importantly: I SIGNED WITH MY DREAM AGENT!! #kidlitchat

Parenting Still Life #2: Post-Christmas

Parenting Still Life #01: A Sink

New parenting fear unlocked. Yes, those are raisins.

I have to say, I really do appreciate the cinematic aspect of national news recently. The writers of the last few seasons really know how to hold my interest

It is pitch dark and 30 degrees and my neighbor is mowing his lawn

Thank you, #SpotifyWrapped, for accurately summing up my life. #parentsky #motherhood #parenting #kids #momsky

Let the toddler lock me out of the house once, shame on me. Let the toddler lock me out of the house again...yeah, I deserve it.

This year when you take your child to see The Nutcracker, make sure to catch the gleam of wonder in your child's eyes. You'll only have about half a second before it's gone and they start on their list of why the whole thing was terrible

The way I can tell I'm at a good comedy show is when it makes me laugh so hard I get an asthma attack and have to use my inhaler. Twice.

toddler: sings a song me: that's so beautiful, honey!! toddler: DON'T TALK. #parentlife

Why I love children: because the world will tell you to dance in the rain, but your toddler will ask you to dance with them to on-hold music.