In 2005 my line sister ordered pizza for us from her desktop and it was shocking. I didn’t even know Papa John’s had a website back then, let alone the ability to place an online order. I was still looking for the phone number when she announced “done” We all made her show us how to do it 😂

Queer men have all the best descriptors: bear, otter, twink, top/bottom/verse, wolf, cub, etc Strait men are just skinny, husky, or bald. Y’all need a new creative director

Ice skating, I like going and will be out on the ice wobbling like a newborn fawn. My shins be on fire, but I make my little circle around the ring with a smile on my face

I adore Dante Bosch. I used to watch his videos opening residual checks in the mail, all the videos are so authentically sweet “It’s me, yo boy Dante. I did a cameo on a TV show in 1997 and the rerun played..I got $10.79. Looks like I’m buying tacos for lunch” 😂

Now, I could have SWORN they were just telling everyone they don’t have two nickels to rub together and needed a gazillion dollars to try to become profitable…I know their investors are wondering where they got Pinterest acquisition money

I am a “vote early, in-person, down at the polling location” voter for a variety of reasons. I am encouraging others to do the same. I do not like any of this

I need to have a little talk with the hand-dyed textile community I have this sweater that I love, super comfy and wasn’t expensive, that’s a few years old and fading. Anyone know if I hand dye it in a similar green, will that evenly distribute the refreshed color?

Some mornings, I get a cramp in my foot and I didn’t even do anything to make that happen. I think I have to add a magnesium supplement, and I’m tired of feeling like a pill pusher

I didn’t shovel my stairs, so now I can’t order delivery. That’s exactly when I get

I didn’t take down my tree today 😔

I smell like a yummy dessert, I need to use this lotion more often. I hardly buy scented lotions for myself, but when I get them as a gift I use them on my “just hanging around the house” days and this is delightful

Today’s wine is Domaine Grand Veneur Côtes du Rhône Cuvée Les Champauvins White 2023 I don’t enjoy sweet wines, but I do like a tart flavor that feels crisp. If that’s your lane, this is a good one

Happy “let me browse what these FSA dollars can be used for” day to everyone who celebrates 🎉

Yeah, I’m not going to be able to leave the house. Absolutely not

You know who I blame for this? Benjamin Franklin and that coonskin hat!

🥳 Happy New Year

I’m still awake! Time to click on my heated blanket to prewarm my bed for sleep. Gonna slip that eye mask on as soon as the clock strikes

*clinking glass noises* I might not make it to midnight, but I will have a good time

you gotta laugh at stuff or you’ll cry

I couldn’t leave my house today because I washed my favorite coat, and that’s the most “I am a mature woman, and I know what I won’t tolerate” course of action I can imagine. I’m not about to be in the streets in my fancy or backup coats on a day such as this

If anyone wants to provide wine recommendations, please feel free to comment or quote. I’ll need to restock the wine fridge in the next year Tonight, I’m starting with Domaine Grand Roche, Chablis 2022. I enjoy a California Chardonnay, but I always feel like Chablis is its bougie and fun aunt

If you’ve gotten to the age that you’re going to be adding a mammogram to your healthcare schedule in 2026, don’t forget to get some retinol and eye cream for your nighttime routine

Washed my makeup brushes, did an extravagant skincare routine, drank water, changed sheets, cleaned bathrooms, whitened teeth, vacuumed floors, started my soup in the crockpot, took out the recycling, and loaded the last load into the washer. Time to wind down. I’m going to start with a Chablis

Good morning! If you’re gonna toast all night, don’t forget to drink water during the day. Nobody wants to be dehydrated to start the next year Stretch and do your skincare routines too, while I’m handing out unsolicited advice

This app…hits that stick like grits 🫨

Winter being so dark for so long really messes me up. I was ready to get into bed, but it’s not even 9 PM!!!! This is Hell

New recession indicator just dropped, I have never heard of this Must be young people’s business

I feel offended that my electric bill is scheduled to arrive in the mail in the same week that I pay the last 1. I can’t get a fortnight to enjoy these lights before y’all come with outstretched hands? This is why I don’t check the mailbox

I decided to try a new champagne for tomorrow after reading about the wine maker earlier this year (sur-la-pointe.com/blog/2025/08...). Wine Spectacular ranked this one 38 out of the 100 wines to try in 2025, so I’ll let you guys know what I think when I pop the cork

this is not true.

Airport wine bar women are the some ones who would hold your bathroom stall door closed for you in the club when you were in your 20s Blessed company, temporary homegirls, real yappers

I met Nikki Giovanni when she first published her children’s book, Rosa. She signed an event poster for me that’s hanging on my wall now

Time to do some cleaning up around here music.apple.com/us/album/dan...

Just in time, I checked off my last career milestone of 2025. I already started working on items 1-3 of 2026, so I’m pretty sure my 2030 ultimate goal is going to be on track. Kinda proud of myself

My dog is due for her bath, but it’s too cold outside for all of that. She’s about to be mad at me when I bring out the deodorizer dry shampoo

For fucks sake!!

I tried to find a video on YouTube and they changed their mobile format to look like TikTok? I don’t like it

I’m at the “eat the random stuff in the refrigerator” part of the year, so I can’t make myself a breakfast sandwich. I just don’t believe in going to the grocery store between Christmas Eve and New Year. I just have to make it work for a few more days

I don’t want to do laundry today, I need to figure out how to do the kind of magic that’ll make me friends with brownies

I would very much like to hire a personal assistant who is willing to be paid in hugs and words of encouragement. Now accepting applications

Right before tax time? I can’t believe Louis DeJoy got to stay as the postmaster general for Biden’s entire administration. He needs to be screamed at any time he goes to a mailbox

No, I smell excellent Got a compliment on my fragrance from the checkout clerk today

This weekend, my niece inadvertently hurt my feelings a little bit. I said, very confidently “did you see I got a little bit tan wh…” and before I finished me sentence she laughed really hard (without ceasing). So now I don’t want to talk about it. I had been very proud just a few days ago

I will never get over the excited “Say it wit me!” from Jamie because he was so into this moment, which kicks up the hilarity 1000x 😭😭😭😭

I cannot find my wine stopper, so as a responsible adult…I think I have to do something about the rest of this bottle

I was listening to an audiobook with a wealthy family, and in an argument about swiping the credit card the voice actor said “A-MEX” instead of “AM-EX” and I had to stop. I’m not going to put up with this

I am so furious about our lack of high speed rail. I’ve surpassed 20 years of writing letters to Congress and submitting comments during rule proposals of actively begging for federal investment into this mode of transport, instead we got a network of pollution machines that encourage suicide

My tips: 1. Go with a traditional appliance manufacturer: GE, Whirlpool, Frigidaire, Maytag and not the electronics manufacturers 2. Look for the stainless steel interior and not the plastic lined 3. Figure out which features are most important for you (e.g. top tray, adjustable flatware caddie)

These people think life is the product, but it’s the process. It’s the story of my swollen eye when I was 9 because I ran into the prop; those itchy dresses that looked pretty, but made noise when we walked; my mom and aunts having that 1 picture when they all wore green eyeshadow. The doing matters

I draw the line at ghost booty Nothing in my current human experience is going to let me get on board with this. I think I’m going to change my election of donating my body and go for cremation. This is not what I thought cadavers were used for…eww