Why don't I do small 4.3 quakes? Easy! I don't eat Taco Bell like my sister @sanandreasfault.bsky.social

My scribe went looking for me! It didn't go well. She's still alive. If the meeting went well, she would not have gotten away.

Told my scribe "5,000 microquakes and I'll destroy the world". Apparently my scribe thought it was "write 5,000 page story and create a new world". No bitch! I said I destroy the world! We are not on the same page, pun intended😏

Oof. Naps are the worst. 10,000ft of water above me, best weighted blanket ever.

@atlantic-ocean.bsky.social @mendocinotriple.bsky.social

Oh I've been so asleep down here in the trench. Mud deposits feel such a comforting blanket keeping me asleep. Now I'm awake, because...EARTHQUAKE SWARM AT ONE OF MY KIDS? AT....TAHOMA!!! BYE BYE Seattle🤣

Change of plans. Gonna wait on that 9.3 earthquake another century. Humans are just fine destroying each other. I'll wait til there's something standing for me.

Okay, what I miss? Mommy had some internal pain due to all the subduction.

I see Mt Etna wishing everyone a Happy Pride by throwing a riot....and Etna is never violent😂. Etna all "GET OFF ME BITCH! 👿" today🤣

Hey! Hey @atlantic-ocean.bsky.social ! HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! Go destroy some shit, this month a riot! You wear a hurricane, I wear an earthquake! I blow....Mt Adams, you blow Jenny🤣

No faultline in the world is straight. That's just geologically impossible. We're all a little queer. Tectonically gay! 700 miles of dick. I mean cracks. I mean tsunamis. I split two plates, I think I'm trans😏

@mendocinotriple.bsky.social wanna hit it from the south end? Queen, me, you! The LARGEST CASCADIAN PARTY!

@mendocinotriple.bsky.social and I did some rubbing against each other today! 4.1 Mendo!!! Good job babe! Wanna go again?

My scribes 2nd favorite place to be. Detroit, if you ever need a mini-subduction zone in the Detroit River, call me!

I heard my little sister @sanandreasfault.bsky.social was having quakes today. So I sent my scribe on a ferry. Big sister stuff ya know....well, the boat made it back to the dock. So I took another ferry. And that boat made it back to the dock. Sandy you wimp, I expect worse from you!

Ice, hmmmm......🤔 @cdnpolar.bsky.social I don't recall any of my volcanic children launching you into space. Galactic adventures?

@therockymountains.bsky.social do I wish to know your plans?

Happy GOTH DAY!!! Remember, I only do earthquakes at 9pm, it's when the goths take their nightly graveyard walks...they're my little scouts telling me who to bury in the wave😏

@atlantic-ocean.bsky.social I raised the humans properly around here😏

When Momma says to wish your younger sibling a very happy FUCK THEM LOGGERS Day, c'mon now @garibaldi067.bsky.social @mtmeager.bsky.social @themountshasta.bsky.social @mtshastina.bsky.social @altmountbaker.com @cratermischief.bsky.social @altmtrainier.com @glacierpeak.bsky.social

Momma wishes all humans of the bioregion a Happy Cascadia Day!!! Momma also wishes all my volcanic children a very happy FUCK THEM LOGGERS! Day🤣😂

None of my kids are gonna wish Loowit/Mt St Helens a Happy I'M SO GLAD YOU TOOK OUT THE LOGGERS Eruption Anniversary? C'mon now, she's your Little Sister With An Attitude🥰

I expect HAPPY ANNIVERSARY from all Cascadian volcanoes to the one sibling they all hate the most today. Otherwise you must have an eruption today. Mom's rules, no getting out of it...

Want me to say hi? I mean sure, but that'll be a 100ft wave. Wave after wave😏

Happy what? I haven't heard anything from my kids. That's another century without magma...

I'm drippin and slippin You be flippin While puffin Eatin on a muffin Call mommy boring All I hear is snoring

@garibaldi067.bsky.social I promise to hold off on that 9.3 if the Whitecaps win the Chamions League. I need my children on top of the world!

It's awfully quiet on here. And I've been quiet for 325 years. Try not to be like me.

Oh dear @atlantic-ocean.bsky.social , it's my love @mendocinotriple.bsky.social !!!

Oh @mendocinotriple.bsky.social I would eat you😋😏

Unfortunately mom has no treatments for Eruptile Dysfunction. And yes. Most of my children have the condition🤣

I am better than that faultline in Chile...😈

@atlantic-ocean.bsky.social this true?

Accepting applications for new baby fault lines in the Vancouver/Sunshine Coast area. Minimum requirement is ability to perform 4.0 quake. Tryouts will begin next week.

Everyone all "call your local representative"....to be honest, I just wait for them to get on their boats and make their way out of the marina. And then I take the boat.

@atlantic-ocean.bsky.social hi, it's me! I mean, I have 20+ kids, I've always been getting down, I mean penatrating, I mean, subduction into the earth. I'm always sliding into the mantle. Wait. That sounds so horny. I don't mean it like that. Of course not...

@garibaldi067.bsky.social sorry BC Ferries, you're 2nd class in Cascadia😁

@atlantic-ocean.bsky.social oh darling, look at your creation!

Since everyone is political, Hands Off was NOT...resistance. Yall had politicians of both parties speaking. Yall obeyed the cops. Nobody got tear gassed. Nobody wore masks. It wasn't about ending the Holocaust in Palestine. It was pro-NATO. It was pro-war.

Are there any satire/parody accounts still alive out there? 3.8 quake near Seattle and I make fun of my scribe for being more active than her, and yall are quiet. Everybody infected with Cascade Volcano Sleep Syndrome?

More geologically active than my scribe is sexually active, embarrassing🤣....good morning Seattle😏

@atlantic-ocean.bsky.social has a more active lifestyle than me🤔. Another 6.1 quake, south of Iceland. Like damn, 6.0+ every time she releases? That is some orgasm....

I am giving a large batch of magma to my favorite child Mt Adams today for being such a good handsome little boy. Wait, #aprilfools🤣🤣🤣

Happy Trans Day of Visibility to all volcanoes that are still figuring themselves out and aren't sure if they are a boy. Or a girl volcano. If the Puyallup say you're a boy but the Cowlitz say you're a girl, that means you're a TRANS volcano! Erupt proudly...and violently😏

@atlantic-ocean.bsky.social CALM YOUR TITS! 6.6 earthquake?

That quake? I am NOT THE MOMMA! Dear Seattle, Vancouver, and Portland....you're day is coming😈

My child used to look so beautiful. When you eat a good meal though, things get messy.

When you run a nature satire page for a faultline that effects the area your human scribe lives in. And she's having fun in the sheets, and then the bed shifts and it's an earthquake🤣. I mean, she said she wanted to get rocked in bed😏

Good morning Seattle! I mean, good morning Vashon Island! I was a little restless last night.

I have been around for millions of years. I have known the dad of @krakatau1883.bsky.social . I have known the mom. And now I know the child Anak Krakatau. In my time knowing this family, it has rarely been this quiet. Can we get a wellness check on the child?