Bit of a classic “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” tonight.

Overheard: “I can’t listen to no music no more because everyone’s a mass murderer or a rapist”.

Today’s driving went quite well. We didn’t see the red spanner warning light at all.

In tonight’s restaurant they turned up Nessun Dorma to 10 as the sun set.

Saw some nice Warhols today and Picassos that were so good I forgot to take photos of them.

Smell that Pedro Ximénez.

Just saw Chris Mason in the street, so unfortunately he’s real.

A little sticker I saw when I was out today.

A new Madonna track used to sound like the future, the new Madonna track sounds like a comforting reminder of the past.

In case you’re confused - the £100k of tax Richard Tice failed to pay here is totally different to the - £92k of tax not properly withheld on dividends - the £600k side-stepped via highly aggressive tax avoidance Industrial scale grifting revealed by @danneidle.bsky.social and Gabriel Pogrund

It’ll be interesting to see how the news of Richard Tice’s tax dodging plays out. My impression is that Reform supporters will be perfectly fine with it and keep voting for him in the hope that if he gets into government they also won’t have to pay their taxes.

I just accidentally liked a post about hemorrhoids on Instagram so that’s my algorithm now.

It’s a safe bet that she’ll go long before he does.

I've just been filmed by ITN so under no circumstances are you to watch TV tonight.

"Forbidden" is the name Musk will give this website when he buys it for £200bn in 2030.

Hopefully the person at the BBC responsible for asking all these questions on the BBC News website will be one of the 10% who takes redundancy.

We all knew that Mandelson was picked as US ambassador because he was a dodgy git who would be likely to be able to make a deal with a dodgy regime. And most people seemed to approve of this at the time.

Did a bit of local election campaigning today. "Fuck off, I hope you lose!" from an elderly gentleman in a purple dressing gown was one of the less encouraging responses.

Tonight's theatre concerns the 1986 confrontation between Rupert Murdoch and the Society of Graphical and Allied Trades.

All episodes of The Assembly are tremendous but the Nicola Sturgeon one is just sublime.

I tried to see who’d posted this piece of hateful nonsense through my letterbox but they’d already scarpered. Use your vote wisely on 7 May.

Made the mistake of going into a shop in London at lunchtime on a Tuesday. I think I preferred it when you were all 'working from home'.

Simply being called Peter Magyar must be worth a few percentage points in a Hungarian election.

Disconcerting that the Guardian article about Kanye West’s show being cancelled following a backlash over his antisemetic comments about the Jewish community and the Holocaust is peppered with comments by someone called Goebbels.

The Greens aren't standing in my ward, which will confuse a lot of people who wanted to vote for them. (They've made a pact with local activists.)

Seeing as we're comparing K West to Bowie today.

Johnny Marr playing with Pet Shop Boys on The Truck Driver And His Mate tonight at the Electric Ballroom will live long in the memory. Other highlights were Why Don’t We Live Together, King’s Cross and the whole crowd chanting the “It’s not all football and fags!” bit of Sexy Northerner.

They're playing Volare outside the pub. It must be summer.

Thankfully Trump has agreed a 10-point peace plan with himself. It’s safe to go to bed.

Decades of hearing the likes of Zack Polanski saying what they think people want to hear. People like him never change anything at all.

Arsenal heading into Armageddon with a one-nil advantage.

My grandparents used to talk about the Cuban Missile Crisis and how they stayed up all night thinking this might be the end. I’m getting a taste of how that might have felt today.

I wonder what it says about going for the nuclear option in the Art of the Deal? I’m sure the Iranians know.

I’ve just discovered that there’s a conspiracy theory that the song “Wind of Change” by the Scorpions was written by the CIA as a piece of Cold War propaganda.

Silly view from this restaurant.

I cleaned all the moss off the car and drove it for the first time this year. Miraculously it started. I did such a neat bit of parking, it’s now completely jammed between another car and the kerb and won’t move, so I’m hoping nobody needs to be driven anywhere in an emergency in the near future.

Hoping for him to die isn’t enough. You’re going to actually have to do something about him.

Two dunnocks in the garden today. Unprecedented bird action.

Somehow, this is real

It must be spring because the ants are building their little earthwork monuments in the bathroom again.

Quote from today’s Guardian: “I think the elderflower craze won’t last for ever.” Wise words.

Woke up at 5am wondering if the recycling centre is open on Easter Day. Don’t get old, kids.

I wonder what the highest number of people hoping that another individual would just die is? We must be somewhere near it now.

A man with Tourette’s walked past me today and shouted a comment so now I know how the world sees me.

I’ve won £100 on the premium bonds. I might buy a barrel of oil and an Easter egg.

Me, a dumbo: Why do people put perfectly good couches in the garbage? Why not give them away for free? Me, learning my lesson: No, I can't deliver it. No, I won't hold it for 2 weeks. No, you can't come by between 2am and 3am. No, a dog did sit on it once. No, I do not have it in any other colors.

Trying to work out which Pet Shop Boys songs are too obscure and which ones aren’t obscure enough.

There’s a fine line between too much regulation and burning to death.

Probably not a coincidence that the country that is exploring new frontiers in space is also the one that’s most intent on fucking up the planet we’re on. Still, bon voyage.

I pay approximately £10,000 a year for TV channels and are any of them showing the Italy vs Bosnia World Cup play off? Of course not.