Only Jeremy Corbyn could put out a message telling people to vote Green on Wednesday and then become the leader of a rival party on Thursday.

Black Box Recorder playing the London Palladium. This is a strange timeline we’re in.

Danny Kruger behaving like an evangelical Christian of white South African heritage, which is what he is. Farage has assembled himself a right bunch of dangerous nutters.

Attacking the police is typical Mandelson behaviour. They’re going to have their work cut out pinning anything on him.

In the row behind me at the theatre tonight Maureen Lipman and Rula Lenska were sitting together. An old man on the same row was chatting about Dennis Waterman just a little bit too loudly.

Ironically Miss Conduct In Public Office is also Peter Mandelson’s drag name.

Arguing on live TV with Martin Lewis about consumer finance has to be number 1 on the list of things not to do if you hope to become PM at the next election.

Tourists photographing that typical London scene of parakeets stripping the blossom from the almond trees in the park.

London’s “worst mass eviction in recent history” is underway; hundreds of households across London told to get out of their homes this week by the same landlord, ahead of the renters rights act. The landlord? Billionaire Asif Aziz’s Criterion Capital. www.londoncentric.media/p/asif-aziz-...

Just found some Christmas pudding in the fridge.

Thankfully the Dimblebys are morphing into one super Dimbleby to save England.

I hope he's on 24 Hours in Police Custody

On the day he got his old age pension too. Such timing.

“Misconduct in public office is a common law offence that can be tried only on indictment. It carries a maximum sentence of life imprisonment.”

Good to see George Osborne getting some of the stick he deserves. All this we’re living through is his fault.

Polite conversation with relatives I don’t really know that well but a couple of hours in we touch gently on politics and thankfully we agree. These things can go either way.

“Well, how come you only want tomorrow, with its promise of something hard to do?”

People who sign off their emails with the passive aggressive “Many thanks” will always get put to the bottom of the to-do pile.

He’s changed his mind on the Chagos Islands again, has he? Maybe we’ve reached the point when we have to tell the US to get back to us when it’s sobered up.

Suella Braverman pledging to stop your children going to university. Stick that on a billboard.

The only question worth asking at these incredibly flash Reform press conferences that take place every week now, is who is paying for all of this and what do they want in return bsky.app/profile/pete...

YouGov has Reform down to 24% this morning. There should be a prize for the first pollster to come up with a poll with all five parties on 19%.

This is what happens if you resist taking parts in Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. You get your best work mentioned when you die.

Most far-right people are a bit frightening but Rupert Lowe might as well be dressed as Mr Blobby.

It's probably for the best that we're going to get a whole load of Reform councils after May. Three years of watching that shit show might just convince enough people that we don't need to see it on a national scale too.

“You must never touch the granite.”

I’m now thoroughly invested in the mixed team snowboard cross, something I’d never even heard of an hour ago. I particularly enjoy that the women are responsible for making up any deficit created by the men.

Apparently there is no guillotine emoji.

Jim Ratcliffe says the UK "has been colonised by immigrants who are draining resources from the state". The same Jim Ratcliffe who owns houses in Monaco and Geneva and refuses to pay tax in Britain.

Oh, biathlete not bi athlete. I see now.

YouGov just asked me my views on Keir Starmer, Wes Streeting, Angela Rayner, Ed Miliband and soup. I had things to say.

If you're wondering how the jobs market is looking, this morning someone knocked on the office door to hand over his CV. He'd travelled from St Albans to do this and we're not even recruiting.

In case you’re missing some joy from your life, The Traitors Ireland is wonderful.

I’m sure Charli XCX has done a good job but in another world Kate Bush did the music for Wuthering Heights.

Anas Sarwar's only loyalty is to himself.

Man in front of me in the Post Office queue: "What's the most cash you can pay in in one go?" "How much have you got?" "Well I've got 8 grand on me." Someone's had a successful morning.

Looks like everyone whose embarrassing emails and WhatsApps to Mandelson are about to be published are getting their resignations in promptly.

Watching Irish Traitors as a distraction from McSweeney/Mandelson.

60 super bowls. That’s a whole jumble sale.

Robin Cousins commentating on the ice skating mentions his knee replacements. And Clare Balding clearly has a heavy cold. These Winter Olympics are dangerous.

here's 5 things this taught me about b2b sales

Americans carrying on like Breezy Johnson is an actual name.

I’m in Clapham, where they’ve sold out of tomato, burrata and almond flake toasties. There could be a riot.

Today’s plan is art, art, theatre. All in South London. I should probably get out of bed.

I have never been to mainland Europe without hearing Volare. It should be the EU anthem.

This Inuit version of Heart of Glass is really good. No, really! music.apple.com/gb/album/uum...

I understand the opening ceremony is just two and a half hours of athletes pissing insults about Trump into the snow.

Just saw a post with George Clinton citing the Beatles as his favorite band, which reminded me of this quote he once gave me

The political journalists seem to be united in their view that Starmer is finished. It’s only fair that when he doesn’t go, as he obviously won’t, they should. We shouldn’t have to put up with this amateur hysterical nonsense.

Cor! British values.