When she's not busy sending bomb threats to black Santas, Megyn Kelly spends her free time praying to Charlie Kirk to give her guidance... on what to hate.

You know what’s REALLY hard? Playing the Kevin Bacon game where you start with 9/11.

CBS paid the president of the United States millions in bribe money and now they censor news reports so it does not annoy him. I don’t know how much plainer we can put this.

There simply needs to be a walkout of all CBS staff until Bari Weiss is fired. Cripple operations until the cancer is removed.

You know what’s cringe? Trying. Trying anything. Being alive is cringe. Breathing is cringe. We’re all cringe. Go nuts.

Pitch: a Full House reboot, but the Tanners have demonic spirits that show up whenever.

Yes, I would like to accept notifications and subscribe to your newsletter. No, better yet, let’s get married. Book the chapel. It’s just you and me, every web site ever.

In my finest Nelson voice: HA HA!

😭😭😭😭😭 #HeatedRivalry

Siri, play Brandy and Hanukkah “The Goy is Mine.”

I can’t believe Hollander ends up with ME in Heated Rivalry season two. What a surprise.

Wedding pies are in. Wedding cakes are out.

Connor and Hudson coming out as gay or bi IRL and announcing their showmance may actually kill me. #HeatedRivalry

Show me a picture on your phone that has your energy but is not a selfie.

Delayed edibles are the worst. I don’t have enough energy to aimlessly oaf about when half the night is over.

"If anyone dares try to test my mental competence, I will eviscerate every single person with my intelligence right now," he said. "And that's not being egotistical." — No-self-awareness-having YouTuber Eric Conover in a court appearance, stemming from a car chase where he ran over an officer

Just finished ep 3 of Heated Rivalry. Dead. Just heartbroken.

To every MAGA Cuban who would be considered an “anchor baby”: tu mama = pendeja

Dare me to watch ep 2 of Heated Rivalry on this airplane. Full screen brightness.

Hello? Yes, I’d like to report a missing left sock.

Did you know in Europe, sidewalks are called runways?

Would be soooo nice if the Google app didn’t push MAGA tweets into my feed. Nothing in my web history suggests I’d want them in my algo.

Dave Franco’s tiddies in Now You See Me Now You Don’t are the horsemen no one is talking about.

Pansexuality is just bisexuality with a nice hat. Change my mind.

Per Apple Insider: “Rumors of an early 2026 release for an entry-level MacBook w/ iPhone chip continue. With an expected price range of between $700 and $900, its place in Apple's laptop lineup isn't clear.” That. Is. Not. Entry. Pricing. $499.99 is where this needs to be to take on Chromebook.

I just called my dog a loser because she pissed me off and now I feel bad

Apparently I have five gift subscriptions since I pay for Zeteo. Lmk if you want one.

JD Vance, Stephen Miller, and Elise Stefanik, to name a few, must be cringing watching Trump praise Zohran Mamdani. The GOP is in chaos. Now is the time for Dem leadership to unite our big tent and produce a bold, progressive plan for the future of our country.

Once upon a time… countless fans screamed for Britney. For NSYNC. For BSB. #TRL

We have a playdoh president.

This. For all the so called “good eggs”, I wish you well. I know you’re outnumbered and it fucking sucks. Hold the line ffs. We’re counting on you.

Picturing #Mamdani closing his eyes tonight. Wondering how he got here, to bare the weight of our country. I could never. Be well, good sir.

I am hearing that following his meeting with Zohran Mamdani, Donald Trump received the light of Islam and unhesitatingly recited the Shahada. Truly there is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet!

Saw Andrew and Evelyn Yang tonight walking in Midtown. Saw two heads turn. Mine being one. Their body language suggested a tight couple, which TBH, I love to see it, despite my mixed feelings on him. Love your boo, even when you’re a malleable quandary. ❤️ #nyc

Part of me wants to believe people change. But my inner cynic is more than half my spirit. MTG, you’re far too gone to repent, probably, maybe. I wish it weren’t so, honestly. I detect the good parts of you, despite every awful act and word. May god have mercy on your soul.

Again. This fucking timeline.

What. Is. Life. #mamdani #trump #nyc

Mamdani ain’t even in office yet and homie is already Sonic the Hedgehog’in. I CANNOT. This man must succeed.

This fucking timeline.

A big part of rejecting and defeating AI overlords is rejecting apps run by MAGA-aligned billionaires… yet… people…

She stays defying gravity huh #mcu #wickedforgood #wicked

Trans people are people, you hateful fuckheads. #transdayofremembrance

$12.99! #inflation

Hang Dems? Tell us again about that violent far left radical rhetoric, you fat piece of shit.

I used to AI to turn Tanya from Power Rangers into a thicc AF stud. Now that's a reboot.

Seeing the 2 Wicked 2 Furious premiere at 10pm. Rumor has it Ariana’s pinky will be dropping by.

$1.60? For two sauces? What is the world coming to?

What font is best for sarcasm?