I don’t understand why billionaires want to control things so badly…like go build a cool funhouse with water slides, or build a dog rescue ffs

Chuck Schumer probably smells like my grandma’s old musty dusty shag carpet.

“He sat next to ME, your Honor!”

They're building concentration camps, Chuck. Killing American citizens. If ICE isn't following the standards that other agencies follow, then they're breaking the law, Chuck. I don't want my tax dollars going to support any of this, Chuck. 4 out of 5 Democrats agree.

It took Bluesky HOW LONG to introduce drafts? This place is cooked.

Yoooo #nyc neighors: tomorrow is the last day of suspended alternate side parking according to the 311 site. Break is over sadly.

The people who chided liberals over “safe spaces” years ago created their own “safe space” halftime show for White nationalists and got smacked down in the ratings. Good.

Maybe tonight’s the night Kid Rock drives home drunk, crashes and dies, idk.

*eagerly awaits the 500 thinkpieces on the 3 and a half seconds of queerdom from Bad Bunny’s halftime show*

i just saw someone say "Kid Rock makes music for the people who have tattoos of their kids but not custody" and hol up i need a minute

Kinda surprised we got Gaga and not Cardi but m’lady did the thing no less.

This is a good day. Countless Cracker Americans will snap into pieces because a beloved, hardworking American citizen from PR 🇵🇷 earned his way to the top of the charts and our hearts—and subsequently—their Whites-only living rooms. Stick around, MFs. It’s just getting started.

I think the real reason I’ve never watched The Traitors is because there are too many real life ones fucking our shit up.

A Mussolini-style ending for the orange fucker would be pretty amazing, no? May the idea warm you til Spring arrives.

Donald Trump shat his pants and it’s not headline news because why?

Melania should go back to showing her pussy. That’s all she’s good for.

I will miss listening to Stupid Hoe. What a fun insult track. Damnit, Nicki.

Putting my money on a tequila line.

Saw ICE milling about Nostrand Ave train stop. Be careful out there. #brooklyn #iceout

Would be a shame if Bezos got thrown into a submarine and imploded at the bottom of the ocean floor.

“Kid defender” Nicki Minaj always gravitates toward child rapists. Because she cares, guys.

I demand the next Democratic president to put all ICE agents on a boat and blow it up. Then a party follows and margs start to flow.

Have you ever seen a mugger mug another mugger…and in mid mug, game recognizes game? And they have a good laugh… and they linger for a beat too long….. and they find themselves in love…

Is ED-med customer and balding fuckhead @chriscillizza.bsky.social a journalist? Answer: no.

It’s cute that ppl are unsubscribing from streamers in protest of Trump, but it’s all small potatoes. Everyone needs to dip from all MAGA-owned social apps and commit to the fediverse. There are ways to make money that don’t involve payment for views. OnlyFans. Patreon. Substack. The list goes on.

Melania’s movie so bad, Nicole Kidman only said “Heartbreak” then left.

God to MAGAs before he sends them to Hell: “You should have complied.”

As the former mayor of GeoCities, I wanna say Mamdani is doing a fine job thus far.

My face when the table next to mine gets their food even though I ordered first.

I can’t wait until I’m President so I can arrest anyone who looks like they watch Gutfeld.

Donald Trump raped little girls and should be put under the jail. Donald Trump raped little girls and should be put under the jail. Donald Trump raped little girls and should be put under the jail. Donald Trump raped little girls and should be put under the jail. Donald Trump raped little…

The Christian Right is so righteous, guys. This is what Jesus would do, totally.

I know this isn’t the point, but app fees are insane. I’ve been forced to cook more and just order in person for take out like it’s the friggin 90s.

Is he dead yet?

Curb taxis are playing Newsmax headlines in their cars. Gross.

Is he dead yet?

Oh Catherine…

Hanging the fascists is a platform must-have from the next Dem front runner.

Mass movements force change. ICE has committed human rights abuses and those responsible must be prosecuted. As people protest all across the country today, our office is a third space. We are open for mutual aid support, free posters, and bracelet-making for anyone who needs community.

If you aren’t clear already, MAGAs already know they’re the bad guys, no matter how much they try to tell them themselves and you that they aren’t. Don’t bother trying to change minds—it’s pointless. There is nothing you can say. It’s only until the government’s guns are pointed at them… #DonLemon

If Dhillon is suggesting Lemon was criminally charged under the Ku Klux Klan Act, and that supposedly makes him a "klansman," then he has company: Donald J. Trump, who was charged under that statute for his attempt to subvert the 2020 election.

Georgia Fort, I pray you are okay. Stay strong. They hate the free press. They hate strong Black men and women like Lemon and yourself just as much. I will never, ever forgive anyone who enabled this. We will remain a divided country forever.

Minneapolis local independent journalist Georgia Fort was also reportedly arrested by the Feds:

THIS IS WHY YOU DONT FUCKING TELL HIM “WELCOME HOME” JOE

“I stand with Don Lemon” seems like a do nothing post on my part. But I have no idea what to say. The news is settling after reading it 60 seconds ago, still too new to process. I hope he is safe and goes unharmed.

Heated Rivalry superfans must have jacked forearms from carrying those boys’ water nonstop for two months. youtu.be/evB6UBh3Xn8?...

It was today when I realized the newest Purge sequel was never delayed. Because it’s been out for a year now, and the orange villain remains loose.

All you dumb MAGA bastards got from DT was more government spending, more expensive groceries, less safe airports, less free speech, less consumer protections, and so on. But a brown 5 year old got was coming to him, right? You feel better? Is America great again, you fat cowardice cunts?

My 8th grade book report on Silence of the Lambs I did on the bus: My favorite part was the silence. And the message at the end was listen more, talk less. Would highly recommend. 5 stars.