What was the last movie or tv show you watched in 2025?

Chinese takeaway ✔️ Stand up show on ✔️ Falling asleep well before midnight ⏳ Happy New Year 🎉🥳

Just bit my cheek twice. 2025 can get in the bin. No, you're being dramatic! #JoinIn

A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton just came on. Can't hear it without

It's a chilly *error_day_unknown* morning isn't it?

Only been out of bed for about 30 minutes and I've dropped a fork that got stuck behind a radiator and dropped my not waterproof earbud into a full sink. Only one thing for it #JoinIn

Dinner was huge. Don't think I'll need to eat for the rest of the week. I couldn't eat another oooo cheesecake, don't mind if I do #JoinIn

Having to make tough decisions today. Do I put on the dressing gown with the hood or the one without? Also, ready salted or cheese and onion? #JoinIn

I have one of these on my face while I watch TV. It's not been a very stressful morning #JoinIn

Just heard a story about a cat leaving it's leavings in a toaster. Then someone who obviously didn't know put some bread in and turned it on Their house does not smell like pine, hot chocolate and roast beast I felt it important to share this magical Christmas story. You're welcome #JoinIn

Merry Christmas There are no rules about how to spend the day so I hope you can enjoy it in whatever way you want to For anyone who finds it tough, I hope it goes by as painlessly as possible #JoinIn

Had to go to a last minute GP appointment. Came back to start catching up on work. Manager told me to log off. Did I tell him I'd only just logged on and wanted to make up time or did I leave?

Last day at work for the year

Anyone ever been stared down by a squirrel, because I'm being stared down by a squirrel

I don't usually like to talk about my passion for fine dining but I had to show you these delicacies. Only for the more descerning palate

I'm trying to feel the festivity. What Christmas film recommendations have you got for someone who hasn't watched any in years?

I think Special's been giving me hints for an Xmas gift. She's told me she's run out of her favourite ever perfume & even showed me the empty bottle Hint taken! So on Xmas eve I'm going to wait for her to fall asleep, sneak over to her bedside & put a recurring reminder in her phone to buy perfume

This is what happens when you don't use Spotify but accidentally play something just as you fall asleep Or maybe I'm just really sick, bro

I've been working with someone called Jolie for 6 weeks. Me trying to remember that she isn't called Angelina

Payday Friday

Four Christmas movies to know me by 🎄

🎶 I've just had a shower, now I'm grating my feet. Hello ladies, who wants to meet?🎶

My manager is concerned about productivity when people work from home. I was trying to think of what they'd be worried about while I was catwalking in my newly delivered clothes while playing Here Comes the Hotstepper. Didn't come up with anything 🤷🏿‍♀️

Customer complained that they hadn't been contacted. Said they were being lied to and gaslit. They posted a screenshot of their recent calls to prove their point. Guess whose number was on there

Head down on my pillow and go eye to eye with a spider. I handled the situation with the decorum and grace expected of a gentleman

Guess who just realised he's got a 4 day week

My Dad just called and they'd like a video doorbell and some printer ink. It's just dawned on me - I'm their Alexa

Started watching celebrity traitors. I definitely don't fancy Charlotte Church

The Temu headphones worked fine and took literally 15 seconds to set up. The best thing was they had bright flashing lights on the ear covers which can't be turned off and my Mum hated them 😂

Finally watching Sinners. It's a lovely joyous musical right?

My Mum has bought some Bluetooth headphones. From Temu. And they're not working/she doesn't know how to work them. Coincidentally, she wants to pop round. I'm sure these things are all unrelated

Me at 8am: if I sort *this* out now I won't have to do it after a tiring day at work Special at 8am: No, you leave it to me. I'll sort it so you don't have to Me at 4.30pm: notices *this* is not sorted and is in fact untouched in the exact same place i left it Also me at 4.30pm:

I'm about to use a machine to massage the cramp out of my left buttock

Had trick-or-treaters for the first time in years. I put a lot of work into being the grumpy guy who should be avoided and I'm devastated that I've let this slip. Need to up my game.

Apple Music trying to suggest 'new music'. How dare they?! I'll listen to the same handful of tracks on my playlist, on repeat, forever thank you very much.

5am! Wooo! Let's get this party started!!

I'm so clumsy. I accidentally spilt some tequila in my mouth during work hours

Keep finding spiders with meaty bodies and thick legs in my house. If only I could find the same type of women

Special just told me I should use ChatGPT so that I can send nicer emails at work. Not sure why I deserved that shade. She's not wrong though.

Real, emotion filled, raw truth poetry

Age yourself with a film you saw in the cinema as a kid

Started a habit of watching Gogglebox before going to sleep on a Sunday. It's great to have a laugh to end the weekend before the inevitable horrors of work

Work wife said we should work together (on a spreadsheet) and that she would 'go bottom up' #titleof ...

What am I doing up at 5am? Well I'm asking an online chat assistant where they're from and how long until their shift ends. This is how you win the day!

Special said she's going to see a chiropractor for back pain After seeing the prices, this will be me after she falls asleep

@xxhi-its-lauraxx.bsky.social Happy Birthday 🎈🎉🥳

Oi, dumbasses

The amount of skeets I write then delete because I'm not sure my sense of humour will be understood or appreciated