Reader, she parped in the gym door pods….

Dora is a cat that knows she is safe and loved 🥰

I texted the family group. My mum thinks I self diagnosed ffs

Hard to understand why Frank isn’t gone yet. Or Glasner for that matter.

Cellulitis has crippled me.

Bloody wife managed to go and get a razor blade in one of the tyres on her car

Hard to understand why Frank isn’t gone yet. Or Glasner for that matter.

I see Glasner wants a few months off

When you don't shut cupboard doors quickly enough.

Two content cats

TIL that Harry Enfield was in Men Behaving Badly. And it is not good. At all.

It should be illegal not to have penalty shootouts not shown live.

They totally ballsed up that mission. They were choosing those to be murdered yet were targeting traitors? Idiots

I see Mourinho thought he wasn’t getting enough attention….

Tim Sherwood should not be allowed to comment on Spurs.

No convinced about going back to OGS.

I cooked steak and chips for all of us and my heathen son covered his in ketchup.

Got free dessert at the restaurant because birthday innit

The edges were weird but beyond that it was a triumph. I also probably did too much so will likely have more tomorrow, with scrambled eggs 👨‍🍳

www.permitroom.co.uk/menus/all-da... Going here on Saturday

Cured salmon

Sack him. It’s ridiculous.

We can’t seriously be drawing with fucking Wolves

Half a side of salmon, coated in blitzed beetroot with salt, sugar, lemon, dill and fennel seeds. It’ll sit in the cure for 36-48 hours. We’re going to have some of it on NYE with soda bread

www.permitroom.co.uk/menus/all-da... Going here on Saturday

Today we cure salmon

First non festive meal is shepherds pie

Downside to having a CPAP machine that I just discovered, you do not want to sneeze with it on and working.

My niece just got off the sofa and said “I want a drink!” and not five seconds later insisted she said she said “I want some plain paper” despite both her mum and I hearing the first thing. Then she said we were judging her and got upset and stompy.

Merry Christmas, you slags

Good advice.

I remember Christmas 2016 vividly. My dad Dad passed away in early December and we were spending Christmas at MILs. George Michael passed away and one of my SILs pipes up and says “What a shit year, eh?” Me:

Our room is pretty decent, we have a bed at least. However, there’s also an ominous empty cot. #DuvetKnowItsChristmas Our child is 9.

MIL has a turkey crown for tomorrow. She’s trying it in a BBQ with a smoker so I’ll give it a go. Hopes are not high.

We found Little Alex Horne. Fiendish to the end.

Marcus Wareing is marinating salmon in soap

Love all the cooking shows that give you tips about adding flavour to turkey. I’ve got another tip for you all - get anything else but a damn turkey. It’s nothing compared to duck.

Just shouting “It’s July, Nigel” at the tv. #FoodTV

Dora has had a very tough day

Bloody hate Morgan Rogers

Blimey

Off on an adventure for the day 🎅🎄

Teeth

Spotted Mini Eggs out in the wild today 👀

This is absolutely fiendish! I love it

My SIL sent a picture to the family WhatsApp where she looked fed up due to Christmas decorating not going well. I went to MoonPig and created a card of it…..