🎵 Baby, all I want for Christmas is juice 🎵

David Byrne should wear a suit that is much too small

My laptop shit the bed and I lost so many important files and pictures I want to THROW UP

Peat of the bog that bog bodied you

Rice Krispy with a little nugget of beef jerky in the middle

New policy: people over 25 aren't allowed to use AI people under 25 aren't allowed online

If my last name was Jar and I had a boy I'd immediately name him Mason no questions asked

Throwing ass to Wolf Parade

new mayonnaise chewables

Supplemental nincompoop

Patron saint of having my least favorite song on an album stuck in my head for the Nth year running

unc(chopped and screwed)

Jacob Elordi is 19 ft tall wearing jeans that are cuffed at least 4 inches....who is making jeans with a 94 inch inseam!?

I don't want to

All and all, it's just another mouse in the wall

Anchovie washed tequila

4:20 hail satan

Peanut butter and jelly lasagna

I had a very detailed dream about being tasked with designing something called an Unusable Spoon

It's our birthday! Bitty is 4!!! (and I am 40 😱)

There are a lot of better people to give your money to in these trying times, but I am turning 40 on Thursday so if you'd like to support me eating some oysters my venmo is @qpdbqp

There are a lot of better people to give your money to in these trying times, but I am turning 40 on Thursday so if you'd like to support me eating some oysters my venmo is @qpdbqp

Bad news, guys

I thought I'd be wifed up by 40,its lousy to be alone

Kim chai, a spiced cabbage tea

Suddenly I desperately need a movie where Kyle McLachlan and Stephen Colbert play twins

When they come in a can they're just called nellini beans

If you lived through the aftermath of the Budweiser WASSUP commercial you may be entitled to financial compensation

"We need you to work, but we also want you dead" is such unbearable cognitive dissonance

We need "I love the [decade]", we need Behind The Music, we need Pop Up Video

The gif that keeps on giffing

shooting a mosquito with a gun

*extremely Bauhaus voice* Emeril Lagasse's dead

4:20 hail satan

I will always steadfastly cling to the idea that the 70s were 30 years ago

Remember the Thigh Master?

4:20 hail satan

Doggy daycare, call that au pair of the dog

🎶 Heathcliff, it's me, Cathy. Come home. I'm so cold! 🎶

Drag name: Giardiniera De Laurentiis

Bark chocolate: the chocolate for dogs

Hominy is deeply underrated

🎶 Olean, Olean, Olean, Olean / I'm begging of you please don't shit my pants 🎶

Happy 9/11 to those that celebrate

4:20 hail satan

4:20 hail satan

Hammurabi's Chode

The credible inedible egg