windy shrimp
@melipone.bsky.social
๐ค 376
๐ฅ 178
๐ 2294
brendon try these leaves, they're poisonous
howling at the listing details for the absolute messiest house I have ever seen on realtor
about 11 hours ago
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homeโ is where the heartโ โ is โ - pump โ โ - pain
about 19 hours ago
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Gentleman Sklub
3 days ago
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played myself on today
3 days ago
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Forget the Strait of Hormuz and grab a Plate of Hormel! It's chili night
#chili
#beans
#iran
3 days ago
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grandpa tell us again how you weren't able to bet on everything when you were little
7 days ago
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creating and booking one hour to a new time tracking task at work called "figuring out what to get for lunch"
8 days ago
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Taking the day off work to figure out a new hair brush I got
8 days ago
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white people be like "hey, paul? yeah it's me, steve"
9 days ago
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We're making toilet paper LOUD! Click the link in my bio for 25% off!
10 days ago
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i love combining two of my favorite things. for example, combining and things
13 days ago
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peanut butter nosebleed
add a skeleton here at some point
13 days ago
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come to ri to see dropdead with me on 4/10 imo
14 days ago
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new energy drink "gorilla mind" has actual pieces of gorilla in it how is this legal
14 days ago
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I will be the first American to measure the speed of water
15 days ago
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just saved the absolute worst draft ๐
18 days ago
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dinner
18 days ago
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my name is Duncan Donuts
20 days ago
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lizid milk
21 days ago
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friendyl reminder :)
21 days ago
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this is the best website that sucks
22 days ago
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(after looking at the time) I thought it was around now
24 days ago
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the j i left on the porch last night is probably still there
25 days ago
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words to live by
27 days ago
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bolting upright in the middle of the night remembering that jojo siwa exists
27 days ago
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(me using one of my son's pipe cleaners to clean an actual pipe) whoa
28 days ago
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(any time my wife is watching tv) what's she from? she's from something
28 days ago
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deedee...... megadoodoo
29 days ago
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reposted by
windy shrimp
Unemployed Guy
29 days ago
Whoa-oh We're halfway there WHOA-OH
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lyft has updated their user agreements and i think that's beautiful ๐ฅฐ
29 days ago
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smoke two joince in the morning,
29 days ago
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putting a bunch of stuff into water then drinking the water
30 days ago
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my sandwich came with gravy on the side and i drank the gravy
about 1 month ago
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does anyone know if we have to do dinner again tonight
about 1 month ago
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it's today again
about 1 month ago
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For tonight's Valentine meal we'll be having dinner
about 1 month ago
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I love to quickly drink ten ounces of water
about 1 month ago
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now you've done it!
about 1 month ago
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pulling out a 16" long spoon for my chili crisp
about 1 month ago
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some hyraxes
about 1 month ago
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do websites know when i'm "being nice" to them (disabling ad block)
about 1 month ago
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rubbing your wrists after they take the handcuffs off must feel so good if you're a criminal
about 1 month ago
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(olypmics announcer) Mortal men and women defending your own world; the essence of Mortal Kombat is not about death, but life!
about 1 month ago
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the human brain is capable of conjuring powerful images
about 1 month ago
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i'm always covering my tracks after eating lunch at work because somebody might walk by and go ewww this mf was eatin FOOD!!!!
about 1 month ago
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my idea is double stuf thin oreos
about 1 month ago
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Well it's happening, my step dad is moving all of his ladders and stools into our house today
about 1 month ago
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I bought this mask online and tried it on in the bathroom at work
about 1 month ago
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it's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna be streaming on doopi with ads for the rest of the day
about 2 months ago
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just learned that I'm related to a guy from throughout history. Now to monetize this
about 2 months ago
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