My flight tracking app turned all the planes into turkeys and I can’t stop giggling. 🦃

Lowkey amazed how much engagement I get on my posts anytime I mention a tv show. Do you make a lot of Friends at The Office? I’m too Insecure for that but I Love LA.

And that’s enough internet for today 😂 😱

Forgot how good it feels to express attraction to someone and have them unabashedly return the favor.

Been thinking a lot about Ariana’s vocal choices during “Wicked: For Good.” She seemed to slip out of character and into classic Ari&B vocal stylings any time Glinda was deeply in her feels. I’m wondering if this was a specific acting/directing choice or if it was an unchecked mistake. Y’all?

Finally started watching “The Pitt” yesterday and didn’t stop for 9 whole episodes. Heart racing. Eyes watering. This is peak television. It’s like season 1 of The Bear, but in a hospital and without any weird romantic subplots.

Dad’s first lasagna

Saw “Wicked: For Good” last night. Really enjoyed it, but one question about the end of the movie has been running around in my brain preventing me from focusing on anything else. Maybe y’all can help me with this. Is scarecrow dick made of burlap?

Seeing a lot of gleeful reactions to this news and how the leopards are finally eating her face. Don’t get me wrong here - I wish those leopards would, but I’m not convinced she isn’t playing chess with this. Best case scenario she goes on a book tour, but what if she becomes the first female prez?

She’s going to be in Oh Mary I called this like a year ago

Shoutout to the couple who got engaged in the park tonight right in front of me and @zgreenberg.bsky.social eating French fries. I’m sure they’ll use AI to crop us out, but if not, we get to be part of that memory forever!

Teenage boys with perms

Met a cute guy the other week and exchanged numbers but deliberately avoided seeking him out on social media and, y’all, giving yourself the chance to learn about a person organically is a game changer.

Inside you are two wolves

I mean…does Ashley Padilla not absolutely snatch your wig?

The past two weeks of SNL have been top notch. Love when they pick hosts who are 2000% down to clown.

Question: When you decide to unfollow a mutual on IG, do you then remove them as a follower or just hope they catch on?

I should see it coming but I’m always a bit shocked when the lusty days of summer leave my body and get replaced by the desire to eat soup on the couch while I watch a movie next to a man with kind eyes.

Someone said this beanie makes me look like a fuckable hamburglar. Squirrel unrelated.

The 1998 edition of this concert was a gateway drug leading me into a fabulous world of musicals, belting, and faggotry. Cannot wait to see this new edition become a formative moment for the next generation of annoying theater queens.

If your coffee shop decor isn’t hitting like this, I don’t want it.

Two drinks on Friday and I’m still feeling crappy on Sunday. I might be a cheap date but I am PAYING FOR IT.

Finally wool coat and Beanie weather. Stream Lady Bird.

This feels low.

@profanity.accountant how badly am I doing here?

I never say no. Too awkward! I just mute people so I don’t see it.

I don’t trust anyone who describes themselves as a “fag hag” and I think that all started with Debra Messing.

The struggles of a long-distance polycule

I’m old enough to remember when the New York Post was thought of as one step above toilet paper. Truly wild to me that the news landscape has gotten so bonkers over the past decade that people are actually taking them seriously. They’re still a tabloid, folks!

Per NYPost's scoop, some of the ways Mamdani's wife has "quietly steered" his campaign are weighing in on his logo design, being "a major source of support for him in private" and once posting on Instagram, "Couldn't possibly be prouder."

That awkward moment when your flight delays two hours but the scheduled Lyft is already on the way.

Yorgos you sick f*ck

Skrrrrrrrrrr

My humor is lost on my IG audience Hopefully my response to the gay response to Benson Boone makes y’all laugh.

Cheers

My slow transformation into a kitschy gallery wall grandma continues apace

Windowshopping small towns from the Amtrak.

Go check his IG out. You might find someone familiar on his grid.

New York is so wild. Wish it was a real place.

I keep saying this

It’s honestly a shame how deeply troubled I am by goonerism. So many wildly hot guys making the dumbest faces and noises and I’m just over here with a deflating dick.

God exists

Was really excited for another yoga class this afternoon but woke up with random mystery bloating so needless to say I will not be going. Nobody wants to be downwind of my downward dog today.

Really wanting to like this IT prequel but the pilot did not hook me whatsoever. The two unlinked plot lines confuse more than they intrigue, the kids feel like dollar store stranger things, and the flying baby monster is more comical than horrifying.

Might fuck around and unload a few bags of frozen veggies into a community fridge before the month ends.

I can’t fully explain but it’s giving suburban lululemon employee.

Everyone deserves a @talltbh.bsky.social in their lives.

Contrary to popular belief, Seabiscuit actually got sent to the tire factory.

Tell me something I don’t know

One thing about me? You will not catch me waiting in line for food. Forget about lines down the block, if there are more than five people ahead of me I’m going somewhere else or starving.