So got hit and run’ed (intentionally too!) while riding my scooter. Apparently He wasn’t a fan of me having a good day

Oh my god, have you ever had just an absolutely perfect weekend?? Me and the BF went up to NYC, saw the last weekend with JCM, ate the most DELICIOUS KBBQ and karaoke and then stopped Sunday on the way back to do coasters at Six Flags! Melts my cynical black heart ❤️

Me, when I the house down:

Person in front of me is wearing this hat on the plane. The fuck is cowboy colostrum?? I can’t imagine that’s something not filthy

@ptklein.com proving he’s a good boy on and off the baseball field

Who up in Chicago? Who up deep dishing they pizza?? Any #NMAC folks out there?

Can you really say you had a Good Friday if you didn’t splash around in the creek with a corgi?

Stay swole out there folx

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/c... I did a podcast! Take a listen if you’ve ever been curious what the hell I do all day

Oh my god, I met Mandy Mango at a conference today! There’s something so fucking cool about doing public health advocacy work WHILE your season of drag race is airing. Sweetest person you’ll ever meet!!

Ketchup and mustard mini workout to ease back in

Yessssss! I think Kathryn Hahn should have all the jobs there are. I want her in at least 3 projects a year serving mother

Decided to start the weekend with the most beautiful donuts I’ve ever seen. No notes for you Astro Doughnuts

Happy 7th birthday to my main man, the Sonny to my Cher, and the Ringo to my rest of the Beatles- Cheddar! This lil puppy is gonna have him a special birthday steak birthday dinner and then play tug of war for as long as he likes! Wish him a happy happy and reply with pics of your pets

it fucken WIMDY

Day two of the conference and I’m trying to get people to call me ranch, cause i be dressin’ Please note the corgi/pizza socks that tie the whole ensemble together

Bear smile before my flight to San Francisco. Where my frisky ‘frisco bloomfs at??

Come on, first in February!

For decades the Right has daydreamed about saving their country from monsters, they finally got the chance and it turns out they love the monsters. The monsters are even monstrous in the exact ways they fantasized about! You never have to listen to these guys about anything again

*excessively southern voice* It’s as high as a corgi’s eye!

Got damn I love me some snow! Look at this Cheddar frolic!

Eeeee! The snow is just starting to fall!! I feel like a kid on Xmas Eve waiting to hear hoofbeats on the roof

Hahaha oh my god, I love drag race. Law roach killed a girl on stage, they revived her, and law said “I don’t even care, she looked ugly”

Gotta get swole before the snowpocolypse this weekend

Oh sweet! The drawstring on my favorite sweats got pulled out in the wash so now I have the most frustrating chore ahead of me for hours!

Love it when the timeline lines up like this

People joke about it, but making out with your friends on the dance floor really did fix me tonight. Being gay is the best

Finally made it back after being sick!

There’s a big story everyone is missing—but this article hits on it. We aren’t just seeing public health dismantled bc we’ve been taken over by conspiracy theorists and lunatics. What we’re really seeing is the giant, predatory, underegulated wellness industry come to Washington.

This is the final boss of bald men you have to fight. This is me returning to the source of all baldness

We did it chat! Baby girl Maisie already has more hair than her guncle Brandon. She perfect and cuter than a bugs ear. And I’ve been told that there’s a lot of compatibility between her Capricorn and my Virgo natures! Welcome to the world baby, sorry it kinda sucks now

MY SISTER HAD HER BABY! A baby girl! Eeeeeeee!

Tugs on collar nervously….

My sister is having her baby today!!!!

Come and follow me and tell me how to make my boobies bigger

I like to think my gay ancestors are looking down on me smiling because they fought for the right for me to scooter back from the stranger things finale in theaters in time to celebrate the ball dropping with my corgi. I’m gonna do my damndest to make 2026 gayer than anyone thought possible! 🫡

New workout today but the most interesting part was using the gyms red light therapy room which is basically just the prison they lock Superman in to remove his powers. All I know is I couldn’t fly after the session 🤷‍♂️

Think before you shop folks. Tired of landfills being full of hippos people no longer want

Got to make the Xmas Eve roast for the family! Turned out extra delicious this year

Oh fuck. Am I slowly becoming a gym guy??

So I did a thing…never even buzzed my head but it felt like the appropriate time for a gay midlife crisis. I’m hanging up my blond bombshell title for full on daddy tease. Now that I’m this aerodynamic it’s over for you hoes 😘

Remember when the vice president killed him? And that was this year??? Too many terrible crazy things happened in 2025

First pull from the new pack they dropped. Come on lucky draw!

DC breaks world record for most couples kissing under mistletoe. That’s right, DC is for kissing the homies. Who looking to break more smooching related records? wtop.com/dc/2025/12/d...

Just got back from seeing the new #killbill cut at the AFI theater and it was amazing! Such a vintage experience with an intermission and one of my all time favorite movies and seeing it in 70mm was incredible. If you have the chance go see Uma Thurman serving up mother before we called it that

Well I did it! I joined the slutty gym app! It is slutty right? Either way, add me!