Whomst

if you thought i was weird before, wait until you see me after I unestranged myself over a sick parent

5th base is sharing writing samples

Lilly Allen I’m sorry but the plight of the open relationship is too triggering for me to deep dive in this moment

No pressure but this better be the happiest day of the year

whenever I tell someone I'm performing as amy winehouse and they say "you kind of look like her" my hair grows 3 sizes

Being referred 2 as “the formidable Sammi Lanzetta” when I’m just a goofy ass bitch

Film school ruined me (storyboarding my songs out in the studio)

Clapping and saying good answer after my friends say anything

not to brag but, it is very challenging to live with my brain chemistry

zohran saying "it's pronounced cyclist" when someone calls him a communist on the citi bike is sending me into another dimmension lmao

david lynch was right most of the time but he was really really right when he said you shouldn't be unhappy when you're making shit

Oui oui bitch

if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my DMs

Please know if you’re someone’s terrible boyfriend I’m out grilling you harder than you could possibly imagine to them. Like “stay tf away from Machine Gun Gregory”

Having fun at the baby shower

WE WORKED VERY HARD ON THIS AMY WINEHOUSE COVER BAND, OUR BARITONE SAX IS COOKING, THE BAND IS HOT!! COME THROUGH BROOKLYN !!1!!!!!!1

when my friends tell me that whatever terrible job/circumstance we met under made it all worth it since we get to know each other

*I'm a fool to do your dirty work comes on at a party and I'm about to bother everyone around me voice* haha do you want to hear a FUN FACT about ME and my LOWER BACK

at every show I play I'm just going to start doing a fake "everyone please welcome zohran mamdani to the stage" until he feels pressured into coming to a sammi lanzetta rock and roll concert

I love my coworkers, I love my friends, I love my apartment, I love my dog, I love my band, I hate my script, I love m

they should've emphasized how humiliating screenwriting is when i took those 2 classes in it

coworker walked in and said "dont you wish we were smoking cigarettes inside" ... like... yes

kevin garvey cutting himself open to the beach boys

i just finished the leftovers

When your therapist is like what keeps you up at night and it’s like what keeps me up at night??? What keeps me up?? everyone hates the Orbitor 1 pinball table because they don’t know it was made by NASA space toilet designers or care it’s the only machine where the ball rolls on a 3D playfield

I love having friends that work in and like music/art but aren’t clout chasers like thank you beautiful angels that fly under the radar and ask me about my letterboxd at the bar

SWEATING

Bestie and I

Save me, Apollo bagels

they got the wrong jimmy

Thinking about the guy on the Q train that made me a tiny paper crane and invited me to Yom Kippur because he clocked me immediately and has “other people on the spectrum he wants to introduce me to”

the other night someone was dropping me off and fully exited out of the gps to follow me on letterboxd while driving, absolute king shit, sorry pedestrians

Every day I wake up and feel like her

why is the leftovers literally the best show I have ever seen

hitting backspace in final draft and holding down

we were getting ice cream the other night .. there was a captain crunch cereal flavor i was trying to order and the lady behind the counter wouldn't let me just say "the cereal flavor" she fully made me say the ice cream's government name out loud -"oh captain ,my captain." then my friend saluted me

British guy who “nice outfit’d” me twice at pulp tonight can call me tbh

Life is full of epic highs (Pulp playing Razzmatazz at Hollywood Forever) and epic lows (Pulp playing that one song Jarvis Cocker wrote about The Grove at Dogshit Vibes Forrest Hills Stadium)

Someone’s gotta find a way for me to link my ambien to my bank account

I have quite a few things to say about pretzel gelato

I love far too deeply for this earth and also myself

In 5 years all Hot Girls 4 Zohran volunteer shirts will be high value fashion artifacts

zohran canvassing is the best decision I’ve ever made w my time. I love this man

i love pile

my toxic take is that i think this word is unserious and goofy, a signal of a certain kind of genx/elder millennial personality that also brought us “awesomesauce” which is seemingly harmless but is certainly not easy to be around

❤️ sad day

Advanced loving is actually wanting the best for someone even if you can’t be in their life tbh

🎱