"have you fucked now?" <- first comment I got from my very first partner of sexual nature (who broke up with me because I needed extra time+proper prep before "losing my virginity") after hearing I got a new bf just got a screenshot of it only because I'm still SUPER SALTY ABOUT THAT COMMENT

interesting thing to happen after I got into my very first Actually Sexual Relationship: reading and watching porn isn't nearly as exciting anymore. what do I look for in intimate fiction instead? PINING. LONGING. ALL THAT GOOD SLOW BURN. don't make my legs quiver, make my heart flutter

drinking her up like a fine vintage wine #baroryuu

kissing booth, too boring hissing booth, cute because cats but not original welcome to my pissing booth ❤️

incest underage age gap monster porn made of pixels isn't my cup of tea but it doesn't hurt me. I promise it won't hurt you either if you don't read/watch stuff you aren't into

if a muppet sucks your dick is it a hand job or blow job?

the comfortable squeeze around my heart when I was reading in my man's bed while he was playing games, and suddenly he asked "can I come next to you and watch tiktoks?" with the wettest pleading eyes and adoring face for humorous effect but also pure sincerity in his voice I love that dude so much

即席ばろりゅ

woke up in the middle of the night half asleep thinking my partner isn't breathing anymore, I panicked and tried to get him to lay down on his side so I could do CPR on him(??????), of course he woke up and I understood there was no problem but it took maybe ten minutes for my heart to calm down

we know about beer shits that sober you up miraculously and it's greatly appreciated. anyway I found out the hard way about sour diarrhea that raises your body temperature so significantly it almost makes you faint

for a long time I thought I won't smoke weed more than only occassionally with my partner and that alcohol is "safer" for me. SURPRISE my tolerance for alcohol has gotten so awfully low that I'm actively drinking less and. well. you can guess. the season of nice leaves ahead 🍂

pronouncing it “sporm” from now on until people stop having sex

this year the Cake and Cunnilingus day is four days before my birthday. if you think I'll think of that like "better merge them together since they're so close" - FOOLISH FOOLS I WANT ALL THE CAKES AND CUNNILINGUSES I CAN GET 🎂🥧🎂🥧🎂🥧🎂🥧🎂🥧🎂

hectic workdays fuck me over, my partner fucks me to help me get over it

oh fuck yeah the National Steak and Blowjob Day was a success for me (I NEVER cook meat but this time I did)! I have secured my right for home-made treats and the other acceptable treatment next month! (as if I don't get those from my partner already BUT IT IS WORTH CELEBRATING)

I'm just as horny as anyone can be but oh dear people of Bluesky I BEG you to learn to appreciate AND use the content warning labels, I really want to use the app without seeing surprise tits and asses, covered or barely covered, in public transit too

true demisexual experience is enjoying characters you really like being sexual with each other but not wanting to have any part in it yourself. yea it's all fantasy but I just want to watch it, not perform in it!!

I very rarely have sex dreams. for many months I haven't been as much into Kaiji (the gambling manga) as I used to be. anyway I had a dream about my favourite gambler character getting absolutely railed for stealing cigarettes. huh!

thinking about my man today too (like I do every day). two full "official" years of being together and we both feel like our thing has only just started. it's a great thing to think like that mutually! that man has a permanent place in my heart and also in, well, other places too

so I made a TMI bsky account. mostly because I have so many invite codes and no one fucking wants them!!!!! I am a generous soul left alone with my horny and sad thoughts