If this post gets 100 likes I'll eat spaghetti

noses are weird

Why am I the most productive whenever I'm staying up all night god I feel so sleep deprived

Playing Cookie Clicker on my computer and three other idle games on my phone all at the same time so I can waste time 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲

My three kinds of fears 1. I sure hope no monster lunges out from this darkness I'm in 2. I sure hope I don't die alone and unloved one day 3. I sure hope this green light I'm looking at right now and about to drive through isn't actually a red light somehow

This made me imagine a pill bottle full of tiny pill sized cats that you swallow to make your day better

I wish I knew how to program because I get ideas for games and apps all the time and it would be amazing to be able to just make them

I keep thinking Aristocrats is spelled Aristrocats and it's all Harry Tytle's fault

I feel like I don't want to know what Goofy is wearing on the rest of his body

It's funny seeing DVD menu videos with like 100K views and it's by a channel called "Daniel Edward Jackson's Brand New DVD & VHS Ultimate Media Archive & Thomas Fan Videos Official Ultimate Omega Reborn Again Joined By My Friends Not For Kids No Unsubscribing 312 East Allegheny Drive 159-46-2956"

One day I want to enter a Mexican restaurant with a bag full of syrups and sweets, and ask the waiter for just a plain tortilla. Then when they bring it out they watch in horror as I begin making a crêpe

I was outside eating a burrito and wanted to give the last bite to one of my dogs but the other walked up when I was trying to give it to him, and I didn't have a knife to cut it, so I distracted the second dog with pets while I gave the burrito to the first dog. He owes me one.

Hey Bluesky! I'd like you to check out my channel KatGames! The first fully edited video is finally out, and there will be new ones at least once every week. I'll also be putting up VODs from my Twitch streams. I hope you enjoy the videos that I make! #YouTube #Gaming #Skate youtu.be/qIRtly6FUmc

A narcissist whose pronouns are me/myself/I

I'd like to introduce you to my friend Charlie. He's neurotypical just like you, so you should both get along

I will be appearing on Shark Tank very soon, presenting my innovative new urinal which has a tube that grabs onto your dick to keep piss from splattering onto your legs.

I felt awkward being a trans girl who doesn't know shit about female reproductive anatomy for the longest time until I remembered I can't name 90% of all body parts anyway besides the basic shit like "forearm" and "ankle" and now I feel better

Too often do I hunch over on the toilet and jump because I feel something on my leg only to realize it was just my hair

I don't know why but I find it funny that the "64" used to flaunt that this is an all-new Super Mario game for the N64 is just in a normal fucking font for some reason

Improving your sleep schedule is hard when it's so nice to be awake during the hours when no one is awake to ask you to do shit

Got these today to spite the kids in the elementary school cafeteria whose parents loved them

I like to think that many transphobes are simply angry that every trans woman they've met have a bigger dick than them

By the way I released a new YTP after way too long. I'd love if y'all checked it out :) #YTP #asdfmovie youtu.be/PmAkx4X1cNU?...

Who else occasionally thinks of a joke from something they watched like several months ago that they didn't originally find funny and suddenly get the joke

Fuck you I'm doing it three days later

Bluey Fanon Wiki: The Plate

YouTube AI has no sense of humor

A memory just popped into my head from when I was little and I boasted that I would make "YouTube 2" someday which would pay you $1 per view and have no swearing

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STANNNN 🎉🎉🎉

Got three new kittens!! Here they are having an epic battle on my legs

Life is all about the little things. Like A cups for example

Am I touch starved enough for this

Sorry I've been gone. I've been suffering from a mental condition called "forgetting I have a Bluesky account"

Damn they're fuckin bolting it

I love this silly little IKEA guy

Inspector Gadget but he's a bigot and he says "Go Go Gadget, kill the tranny"

i should really start posting over here bro 💀, but at the same time, i can't be at 50000 places all at once lol, here is a new ytp of @summoningsalt.bsky.social me make go watch or i will break your kneecaps!! :3 youtu.be/vInAFzi6lmg?...

Don't worry about me disappearing from Bluesky for 12 days I tend to do that a lot

Pingas

I made a new #TomodachiLife save and made mine and my boyfriend's Miis and within the first ten minutes my Mii confessed her love with his Mii and got rejected

#YTP #Albuquerque #WeirdAl #WeirdAlYankovic

Hey y'all. I wanted to update you guys on my current situation. Basically, my laptop is royally fucked at the moment. Whenever I attempt to turn it on the screen freezes on the login screen, meaning I'm completely unable to work on any videos. (1/7)

I set an alarm for every night at 11 to tell myself to go to sleep but it never works because when I'm awake I just ignore it and when I'm asleep it wakes me up

Having ADHD is like: "Oh the oven is done preheating but I don't really want to get up I guess I'll just stay here on the couch and leave the oven on oh look my dog wants to go outside I'll get up and open the back door for her and while I'm up I might as well put the pizza in the oven I guess"

Just snorted so hard my nose started bleeding. How's your day going?

Nobody can clink the clonk as good as Crash Badinkydonk.

Who cares about quantum physics, we need scientists to look into how occasionally when you go to the bathroom you start wiping and find that none of the poop stuck to your ass

New YTP will be out on Friday probably #Albuquerque #YTP #WeirdAl

I know we're well past the trend of people praising how non-Twitter-like Bluesky is but I gotta say it's nice being able to see posts where people just talk about their lives as opposed to being obsessed with the lives of others