Ryan Murphy I’m ready…

They had to shave some of my chest hair to do an EKG this morning I almost cried. And now it feels prickly and I am so annoyed!!

Literally me trying to decide between two very similar hairy chest Polaroids for my next gallery. I’ve been looking at them for hours 😭

I can’t believe Elmo made an appearance at Noah Kahan’s show last night and I wasn’t fucking there!!

I love when when onlyfans gays fight with each other online. I will read every single tweet. Watch every video like shhhh my program is on

My brain is so NYC pilled that I forget other cities: 1) have Pride weekends 2) they aren’t the same weekend as New York’s lmao

Drinking a bottle of chilled red with your best friend on the roof while sharing your high school drama club lore>>>>

My coffee table rn

Five Star Weekend perf show made in a lab for Rude Polaroids

✨ Last night was a Girls episode ✨

Being on both sides of close friends of a gay couple (I’m acquaintances with, not friends) that just broke up and are both posting messy stories. God this must be what heaven is like

Yuh

In honor of seeing Ari tonight here’s me screaming like Toad back in 2019 after hearing her riff. Toad Ryan will be in full effect tonight TRUST 🫡

@ajjordanphoto.bsky.social 10 Year Nightlife Anniversary at Cmon last night

Getting tattoos at the bar/drag show >>>

So there’s insane bop I forgot about…

I love going to another city and being like “omg I could soooo live here 😍” But then once I get back home I’m like “wait jk NYC is soooo that girl”

Pit Stop @plutosinferno.bsky.social

2 vodka sodas $14 oh Chicago I love you

Shouldn’t have smoked before the bar because I genuinely saw myself and thought wow that guy kinda looks like me

Waiting for my sister to come out of the dark room at the Chicago Eagle so I can order us McDonald’s but my sister is taking too long.

School is in session

Sisters what are we doing tonight?

Now that my brother left…I can clean his fucking house

Do I go out tonight 🫦

If you’re FaceTiming someone while boarding a plane, I should be able to slap you

Voicemails for Isabelle!!

Mentally preparing myself for the (insane/not logical/will never understand) 1 hour time difference of Chicago that my lil brain will have to comprehend for the next week 😖🙂‍↔️

HAHAHAHA I’m on the left

Confessions On A Dance Floor

Maddie’s Secret so fab

USPS losing like 7 of my orders I shipped to people 🤬🤬🤬. I literally hate them so much

It’s always Strict Old Gay Summer when you live with Will Kellogg ♥️

🤍 @mrcarsonbates.bsky.social

A lot of you haven’t listened to Marry Me (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) and it shows!!

Salt and vinegar chips on a tuna sandwich >>>

Desperately craving this

Dudes

Watching Shark movies on 4th of July >>>

Mommy knew I missed her and came running!!

A few months ago I met up with friends at a bar after a hookup. I had lube, poppers and my fleshlight in a tote bag with me. We ended up going to 2 other bars and when I got home at 4am I realized I didn’t have my bag with me. Every single day I wonder who found my fleshlight 😭

Disco Pig @corpish.bsky.social @nastypig.bsky.social

Last night with @corpish.bsky.social ✨

Might start carrying a parasol around…

Happy Birthday Rat Roommate @willkellogg.bsky.social !!

Chicago oomfs who like oysters…where should I go and are you joining me next week? 🦪👀

SEND DUCK PICS

Omg West Wilson just walked by me