NEW EPISODE: Fifty Balloons in My Ass Jesse encounters Pool-Water. Lucy goes back to The Office. Mr. Monk contracts the Ebola Virus. Shaun Murphy ranks his Love-Interests.

been back working in an office for a couple weeks, so far my favourite bit is when the IT guy takes over my computer screen remotely and I get to go on my phone

Whoa is this true??

I think the left are mad because Lindsay Graham won best hog at the hog shit snarfing contest

oh Bluesky is still on the argument about whether you should post that a dead guy was a nasty little hog who will rot in hell for all eternity huh

got a date with a Klonopin, nachos and a paul schrader film about Mishima, Saturday night about to go hard

I’m so sorry to millennial cringe post but how good is having a new show. having a program you’re watching. that’s my show I like

extremely banger ep, if you’ve not listened to blood work yet give this a go

If you want to collect new vocal stims like we used to collect Pokemon, you gotta listen to Savant Garde. The best in the game

you can now follow @savantgardepod.bsky.social on this cursed app

I don’t think I can emotionally handle seeing another image of erling haaland

seeing the boys logging onto discord game chat while I’m at work

I saw the jackass film ☹️

my phone algorithm has completely figured out when I take an edible and Instagram gives me straight fire. shit that has me on tee hee hee mode

I’m starting a part time office job tomorrow and I’m already rehearsing in the mirror all the ways to pretend I’m not a weird sick ghoul with a podcast

I don’t know if a situationship is just what we used to call a ‘friend with benefits’ and I’m too scared and unc to ask

I believe her

an American guy at the bar tonight was like ‘I met you a few weeks ago and you were the meanest anyone has ever been to me’ and I’m so warmed by this

anime virgin level has become terminal

I’m being extremely brave today (going to a social event instead of watching the Jackass movie at the cinema alone like I really want to)

this actually goes hard as fuckkkk

one time on twitter i saw a quote tweet on mayim bialik that just said ‘puta estupida’ and I think about it literally every time I see her

I love Dostoevsky but sometimes I’m also like… shut da fuck up man

had 2 IPAs during the podcast and now I’m on Overwatch posting shit like ‘good work guys 🙂’ ’great ult genji 🙂’

"ugh another old stuff horror movie from Robert Eggers ugh" you wish you loved anything so deeply and productively

love doing whatever the opposite of self care on sundays is. no gym. 6 hours of overwatch. haven’t eaten anything but processed carbohydrates. speaking negatively to myself. bed at 2am

on weekdays I always watch jeopardy with my coffee first thing in the morning [good] but on weekends I’m forced to immediately play Fortnite and i turn Evil

the boonta vista promise: we WILL make your wife cry youtu.be/wZMGV4DoB7U?...

I get so gay off that Mr Pibb

my landlord asked what this meant

Sad to see many of you have not experienced Culver’s, the midwest’s own garden of earthly delights

welcome to the vernacular ‘buying fast-casual shrimp twice in a day’

did anyone else play a lot of sid meier’s colonization as a 10 year old or is this just an insane fever dream I had

touchin my shiii like crazy rn 😭😭😭

cannot order a red wine without thinking of the phrase ‘honey badger drinks when he wants’. is this brain rot

if I went on jeopardy and had to talk about myself I would straight up lie. I would tell ken jennings I built the Berlin Wall

Listen to @boontavista.com

The mind of another is always unknowable but I think if you choose a toilet cubicle next to another person in an otherwise empty bathroom you should genuinely be removed from society. something is deeply wrong

listen to boonta vista

can’t stop walking around my apartment saying ‘ask grok to do a vulgar roast’

I really don’t miss twitter but I do miss the adrenaline that only Pingu When He is Quarrelling With His Mother could bring

I’m trying to watch through the X Files for the first time but mulder is so hot it’s actually insane. I can’t take any of this shit seriously I’m barking like a dog and punching the table

sad to hear of the passing of keir starmer who died from jacking off his hideous little pebis too hard and going hog wild on that nasty thing. I hope he finds peace

yeah I’ve got Havana syndrome. can’t stop havana beer

hoping to become Brisbane’s only CityCat influencer

I think dostoevsky would have loved having 6 shots with my friends and then taking the Brisbane ferry to go to a metal show. I think he would have been happier

Grete Samsa: