it’s true, I am

one battle after another winning over sinners is so white hollywood

hello, I’ll be your nurse tonight 💊

being called to handle some crime like Batman but instead of a crime it’s a party and instead of a hi-tech suit I have to serve cunt

oh btw I redyed my hair and have become unstoppable once again

this one time there was this guy bouncing on it and I suddenly noticed he was wearing a “WWJD” bracelet, to which I thought… well, probably not this.

beyoncé please come back…

when u go from work to ur bestie’s and the bestie activity for the day is going to the gym so u have to steal his clothes because u were unprepared

hey, I’m sure you all know better, but just in case you need to hear it from a licensed and degree-holding healthcare professional - don’t fucking do this.

the design of uncrustables is so beautiful. the whole thing fits perfectly in my mouth, no swallowing between bites required.

ayyy japi trikin dei a todos

the passage of time does not interest me

damn I really been living in the moment or some shit

oh btw my LA homies, I’m debuting a new puppet act I’ve been working on in a variety show on January 2nd and y’all should come maybe

sitting down and looking at the internet for the first time in over a week… how y’all been?

circus circus makes me sad

the reason for the season 🙂‍↕️

after all, there’s only one more sleep ‘til boyfriendddd

“hey Diego, do you want to learn how to call the patients scheduled for surgery tomorrow?” no ❤️

🫩 baby needs a nap

high in her tower she sits by the hour maintaining her hair boots

reached a new tier of notoriety in the scene this weekend. a gay walked up to me and said, “oh my god, you’re here! I have something for you!” handed me a huge joint, took a photo with me, then walked away.

old man patient keeps calling me handsome

my man out there somewhere, bouncing on it

no one: my brain: bounce on that shit, DANCE

SD v HD 📸

men drink water challenge… I can see you need it bad in some of these c*mshots!

the concept of year end wrap ups for all these different services is annoying!! like, they’re presenting your own data they’ve collected on what you KNOW you been doing 😭 some of it is cute and fun, but I think it’s gone too far.

ok permission to talk shit?

this is from season 4, episode 20, of The Muppet Show which is my whole personality in case you’re wondering

whoever walked by on Disneyland’s Main Street and said, “is that Diego?” yes.

I don’t care about Dick Van Dyke

when ur first dp gets shared online 🧍‍♂️

Nessa… Doctor Dillamond…

checking in, there is still rage

clocked…

never got into Spotify because it’s ugly

not seeing my icon in anyone’s little circle cluster thing 🫩

seasonally appropriate melancholy and yearning

everything is very precious to me

She’s missing her beloved @hellodiego.bsky.social

the thanksgiving puns are tired, I will not be acknowledging them. may mercy be granted upon your souls.

I’m a wizard.

thank you Kesha now please release the other 100 unreleased songs I spent my youth scouring the internet for

still hunting… where my OF bitches at 🤨

boypussy at home

Amanda Lepore is going to love me, I can feel it

they are out here doing THEATER for paranormal activity!!! it’s crazy!!

voted most funny at the orgy

and we’re back at it!