My b1rthday is in 2 days and I’m just so fkn upset about everything. I’m so not happy about anything. Here’s a 🧵 of me v3nting

Things are really bad rn and I’m suff3ring m3ntally. Idk how much I we1gh as well and I’m trying to cut back on b1nging and it’s slowly w0rking… I hate myself so much. Why do I make myself suffer so much? Why is ⭐️ving not as easy as it used to be ? Some1 called me ugly the other day and it fmu 💔💔

I’ve been off this app being a fa1lure as usual. I can’t get myself together. I fear this b1nge cycle won’t stop for a while and I really don’t know what to do

-3 p0unds in 5 days and I’m not sure how I feel about that

When you know you let yourself go but someone else points it out— is a different type of hurt

It’s 6:30 in the morning… can’t I fkn fall asleep already jfc

On the bright side. I didn’t b1nge today. I f4sted 19 hours, and I had this 🌮 salad and a d1et c0ke for ~600c and started another f4st.

Crazy how my fam1ly won’t listen or help me in extreme desper4te times but they’d sure fkn cry at my funer4l and act like they did everything they could while I was al1ve

I fa1led today. I have high hopes for tomorrow being better though— 🥺🤞🏼

FFR 😭

I’m having a hard time trying to think of my c limit rn since i b1nged so bad for 2 months— I don’t want to make it worse I just don’t know what I should set it to. I’d like to gradually lessen it but idk 😭😭😭🥺😣

i hate calories

Omfg I just looked up how many c are in this little pack of cr4ckers so I can plan my D1nner/0mad and 😳😱🤯 there’s 300 fkn c in 1 pack and I was eating 2 packs thinking I was fine during my m1ndless b1nge the last 2 months … Well that’s fkn great wtf do I plan now 🧍🏻‍♀️

D4y 1 no b1nge: The f00d n0ise is crazy

Gonna 💤 with this ton1ght cause I’m feeling like 🤡🤡🤡 rn

So I w/i and I’ve ga1ned 23 p0unds since 11/O1 🥲 I’m ready to start my restr1ct cycle and hopefully keep it that way— no b1nging. I feel so defe4ted.. I hate this 🔄 but it’s time to 🔒 tf in 😈👹

I think once I go to the st0re again imma get d0uble fru1t so I can have this + 1 me4l and see how it goes as far as h3lping me st0ry b1nging. I look f0rward to fru1t at night while I w4tch something and I c00k everyday so my bf has something for his D1nner/lvnch the next day for w0rk so 🥲🤞🏼let’s see

But tbh I think imma start putting myself in the sp0tl1ght and actually say what I b1nged and see if I get so ash4med that I fkn stop 👀

I just b1nged so bad if I told y’all I’m afraid I would be bl0cked 😭 at least some of it was healthy but not when you b1nge the other stuff 😖😣

4 in the morn1ng time to put on c4rtoons and go to sleep 🛌 next time I go to s4ms clvb imma get that bl4nkie I’ve been wanting for months 👀 r1cky when I catch you 🏃🏻‍♀️

Made 🍪 for me and my bf (I had too many and I’m sad but happy cause I wanted them for months now but don’t deserve them cause I’m f4t and ruined my pr0gress and this won’t help LMAO) and got new pj pants today 🫶🏼✨

I fkn started my . 😖 At least I’m not e4ting rn 🙌🏼

This shit is so fkn tr1ggering to me— I was abus3d by n4rc1ssits all my life and I know what it’s like to have something happen to you and have v1deo proof of it and they’ll still sit there and deny OBVIOUS pr00f …and to see a huge chunk of the DUMB4SS c0untry sit there and sit with the bad side 🤬🤯💔

I normally don’t speak on things like this but y’all know what I’m talking about I shouldn’t have to explain it… I can’t fkn believe the c0mments on everything. It’s literally blowing my mind people see v1deos of it and STILL say what they’re saying 🙄😱 n4rc1ssists are WAY too common rn cause WTF

Follow @grimgrin222.bsky.social for my b4ckup

I’m so over it 😭😭 she keeps me up for so many reasons— I put her at the end of the bed and she will slowly work her way back up to my back 🙄 cannot wait until til my bf switches his room to mine and we share a bed and she will be on the floor in a d0g bed like normal d0gs ..

Just been b1nging while watching b0dyc4m 👮‍♂️ v1deos everyday And playing g4mes but not getting distr4cted enough to ⭐️ve 😒

if i were to d!e the loot id drop would be... My bl4nkie, my fav squ1shie, my 💔 with some dark v01d fr4gments, a b0ttle of te4rs, esp0m s4lts, a h3x t0tem from d3adbyd4yl1ght, a bowl of ch1li w/ cr4ckers + spr1te0, maybe some fabr1c softener cause they smell so good 😭 your turn

Someone take away my access to food

Still haven’t w/i but I know I’ve gained a lot because I’m to the point of being overwhelmingly uncomfortable with how big I am again 😣 I seriously hate gaining and losing the same 20-50 p0unds over and over again 😭😭

I need to we1gh soon cause I have been overe4ting every single day since the start of n0vember. Im aware in the moment but cant stop myself 🙃 I need to seriously slowly lessen my int4ke everyday and find other ways to fill the v0id 😔

I kinda want to drink I’m ngl. I just know it makes me really ill. But I need to feel something else right now so I’m considering it

First day of the year and Its 2:24 pm and I’m laying in my bed in the dark crying. I’m really alone and tbh I think I’m slowly falling out of love with everyone and everything. I’ve spent half my life with my partner almost— our annivers4ry is in 26 days + I’m finding myself withdrawing from him. +

Was playing g4mes with my ro0mmates and trying to enjoy the new yr but I went on my phone to scr0ll while we waited for someone to go get ice for the drinks and seen the SADDEST fkn an1mal abus3 post that has me crying still hours later. I feel it in my heart literally… I can’t imagine what that +

This new yr imma really l0ck tf in.. I have to— it’ll be my last yr in my 2Os and I just can’t bare the thought of going into my 3Os suffering like this

Being f4tass for the 3rd time today and currently eating an uncrust4ble with 🥜 and 🍌 in it 😭😫

It’s so 🥶 that my hands are frozen 😭😭I’m wearing fuzzy 🧦, thick sweatpants, a velvet dress and a jacket that’s basically a blanket with how thick it is 😭😭 how tf am I this cold… im not even sk1nny •-•

Haven’t played in so long I got desperate and went on my bfs account to play lol.. I no longer have my xb0x 😥 but maybe for my bd4y I can get one. I have over 5k hours in this game.. tbh it’s the only thing that lets me esc4pe 🥺 so happy I get to play for 🎄 ❄️ ⛄️

I just want 🪦 tf out of this pen in the next room— I really do. I’ve been thinking about it for a m0nth now and everyday I cr4ck more and more. I wish I had a j0b already but I fa1led the drvg test + I’m still looking for one but I really don’t think I’ll be getting a job that’ll have another test …

Alright hear me out.. my r00mates have a h0arding issue— they also keep WAY too much food in the house. They both eat a lot in one sitting and it’s made me start h0arding food in my room slowly. Now I have 3 sm4ll b0xes of sn4cks and it’s made me ? Why tf am I doing this again 😞 takes me back to

I’m scared to admit what I’m going through in case it actually is true

I had a dre4m with my br0ther that p4ssed a few years ago.. it’s been some t1me since I dre4mt with him. Not since I h4d the dre4m of him saying his de4th was an acc1dent and how sorry he was 😞😓

I’m suff0cating today… just remin1scing old mem0ries. I miss the old days so bad. T1mes I will never get back I was a em0 sc3ne 👑 who loved mysp4ce, sad r0ck mus1c, I miss my cl0thes and how sk1nny I was.. I miss having fr1ends… would’ve never guessed I’d be al0ne today let alone al1ve ?

I’ve been bing1ng so bad … I need to get contr0l over myself again. I get that I’m rel1ving tr4uma but I shouldn’t be eat1ng my em0tions

I wish I could just adm1t myself and just stay there forever. But I have no m0ney so… 😞

Nothing like crying all night and the morning, slept a little while and as soon as I get up— my bf really hurts my feelings and is 10000000% standing on not being sorry. I’m gonna crash tf out

Went through my bags I still haven’t unpacked 2 months later but… I picked out some squ1sh to lay with me in my sorrow ft lucky from 1O1 dalm4tians —the ONLY sentim3ntal item I’ve had for 27 years (since I was 1) my dad who passed away soon to be 19 years ago (12/20) got it for me

I did all that and here I am taking another one cause I couldn’t stop 😭🛌. I need other ways to cope fr 🥀😞 ft some gr4pes in a hall0ween bowl ftw