Reading queries like

How I feel after giving an on camera interview...

May the Monday terror gods turn their gaze upon your enemies!

@peterclines.com WOOOOOOT!

I am willing and absolutely open to sharing sublists with clients and other agents. Transparency is extremely important to me. All you need to do is ask!

Note to writers: No, your agent does not deserve to get a commission on your Anthropic copyright settlement payout. No, your publisher should not charge an administrative fee for filing claims on your behalf (and why would you want them to? It's easy to do yourself).

At a writing conference today, so my annual reminder. If you book time to chat with editors or agents, and you’re pitching your work… just read your query. Don’t try to memorize things and put that extra pressure on yourself. It’s not an audition for a play, my friends.

🚨!ATTENTION STAR TREK FANS!🚨 Come support #MatthewLillard 's gaming company @beadleandgrimms.com as they launch 2 NEW Star Trek games! CHAOS PROTOCOL: an escape room extravaganza in the Lower Decks universe & HOLOSUITE HOMICIDE: an out of this world murder mystery on Deep Space Nine (written by ME)

A tip for the masses: I'm not a fan of books written primarily from the killer's POV. Certain chapters from that POV, sure, as long as the chapters advance the plot. But do I find a psychopath's brain a place I want to dwell for 70k-90k words? Definitely not. Seek elsewhere. I'm not your gal.

Every now and then Confident Me does something to outsmart Anxiety Me and whenever that happens I'm like

I get that times are tough and landing an agent is ridiculously hard these days, but I will 100% contact that other agent you are trying to use as leverage against me and we WILL compare notes. Don't fib to try and trick us into making an offer. It makes me angry...

If they ask you for money, they’re not a real publisher or agent.

Guess it's time for this chart again! Let the debate begin anew...

Went minorly viral on Threads for posting that Indiana Jones/Harrison Ford is the perfect character/celeb to sit next to on a flight because he'd ignore you the whole time and if this is my legacy, fine.

If you're going to manipulate the system, just manipulate the system and don't use me as a pawn assuming I'm too stupid to realize that's what you're doing.

I'm so excited about my office day today! I'm going to be so productive! ⛈️⛈️⛈️🔌💥🌑🕯️😣

Got to read this last week and it's fantastic. A wonderfully dark and creepy story about monsters, people who are turned into monsters, and some who just choose to be monsters. Preorder it and check it out.

guaranteed if I read "copse of trees" my mind saw "corpse of trees" - every. single. time...

So many writers querying me with their names uncapitalized. Like, is this a choice - a trend? Or a typo? Someone young explain this to me.

what's the first song you're gonna blast when It Happens youtu.be/Ag1o3koTLWM?...

First time in a LONG TIME a team I wanted to win, actually won, and that's because I did not watch the game. (Anytime I watch, my team will lose... Every... Time...) So to all you Sea Hawk fans out there, you're welcome.

🎵 If they ask you to pay money it's a scam 👏👏 🎵 If they ask you to pay money it's a scam 👏👏 🎵 that is not your favorite author or a stunning book club offer 🎵 They are asking you for money=it's a scam 👏👏

When you get to the point in reading queries where everything sounds good or everything sounds bad, then it's time to call it quits for the day.

Hey Agents! DM for info.

If you come at one of my agent friends with racist garbage I will absolutely do my best to destroy your chances with every fucking agent I can reach.

Hideous licensing agreement from Red Ogre Review, but what really jumps out at me is the moral rights waiver

Venerable magazine Harper's Bazaar is running its short story contest again, with the winner receiving "the chance" of publication in the magazine. Just one catch: per the wording of the guidelines, _just by entering_ you transfer copyright ownership of your story to Harper's parent, Hearst. 1/3

Pre-published authors: Querying is THE WORST! Writers on Submission: Submission is THE WORST! Writers Waiting to Announce their Deal: Waiting to announce is THE WORST! Writers after their Editorial Letter arrives: Editorial letters are THE WORST! Copy edits are THE WORST! Day after Launch:THE WORST!

WHILE THE CITY SLEEPS by Alex Bledsoe launches today! Congratulations, Alex!!!

The General Themes of the Bronte Sisters: Charlotte: Men are the worst thing to happen to you. Emily: We're the worst thing to happen to each other. Anne: I am the worst thing to happen to you.

Dream Report: For a local, televised Catholic Church service that the Pope was to attend, the Church asked local singers to submit audition tapes. Mine was chosen and they selected my version of I'M THE ONLY ONE by Melissa Ethridge b/c the chorus sounded religious. LOL It's not.

What an absolute talented lady! I adored her work and quoted Moira just the other day... In honor, everyone should make enchiladas and fold in some cheese, then take a nude selfie.

I think there are three days now until the Hugo nomination deadline? If you're nominating for the slate, please consider ConCurrent for Best Related Work!

Don't come at me but the Loch Ness monster was probably a sturgeon.

"The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." 1984, Orwell

I might catch hell for this but if a querier tells me they received an offer of representation ONE DAY after submitting a query to me, that means I'm either WAY DOWN on their list of agents, or they're trying to speed up responses w/ a false story. Either way, I'm out without even reading the query

Get yourself a group chat where you can text all the questionably bitter and sarcastic posts you'd like to put up on social media about the latest kerfuffle, but can't/won't.

Dear Starfleet Academy Cadets, Please ENUNCIATE.

Me to a room full of young booksellers: We're going to need that case pack of PEOPLE WE NEED ON VACATION because the movie is coming out. Bookseller #1: Who's in that? Me: Two young hot people, I dunno... (Room erupts with laughter) Me: (thoroughly confused)

January Publishing be like:

I feel like @scalzi.com should write this novel. He's got the right sense of humor to pull this off. 😆

Dream Report: I'm at a SFF writing conference when there's a mysterious worldwide blackout. Trapped in the conference center/resort the SFF writers theorize themselves into a frenzy, eventually taking over the entire building and constructing a "utopia" that feels strangely like a dystopia.

Hey y'all! #writingcommunity #amquerying Do not use "services" who claim they can get you a referral with a literary agent. IT'S A SCAM. The latest scam named me as a possibility. That's a lie. I auto-reject those unless I actually KNOW the person giving the referral. Please QUERY ME DIRECTLY.

Christmas Eve is the day booksellers do 99% of the emotional and intellectual labor for the panicked men who come into the bookstore to buy a last minute gift for their loved one who, "likes books." You're welcome.

Hello! I've read about 50 queries today. Here's some things I noticed: 1) Lots of Horror novels w/ tragic endings. Hoping for one that ends w/ a survivor. 2) So many haunted houses. 3) I'm not looking for Science Fiction right now. Subbing one under another category isn't a good idea. Quit it.

I accept this diagnosis . I am a 🕷️ The Social Spider Artist! Position of arrival: #471,042 📎 skyzoo.blue/stats/anneti... What about 🫵 ? 🐾 !?

TV Show Character: Gee I know the stakes are SUPER high & we're on a quest to save the world & it's time sensitive & deadly, but let's slow down to a leisurely stroll & have a therapeutic conversation abt our feelings b/c *CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT* You know you can show that w/o killing momentum right?

It's the Famous Author scam! writerbeware.blog/2025/11/14/i...

I never know if this is helpful or not but I read over 100 queries today and here are some things that I noticed: 1) Some of y'all are sending stuff you know I'm not looking for (you even say it in the query?) and like, why are you doing that to yourselves? 2) Haunted houses are apparently trending