And... she's off to seek out someone unlikely to welcome her. Not the wisest choice, given their interaction the day prior, but necessary; she will not delay this if she can help it. @feyranlavellan.bsky.social

there are only so many seats open in my life, and i don't want to let my heart be swayed by anyone who's not sitting in one of them. of course, there are also people like you who bring their own seat and sit down.

And you're immediately hostile to the slightest request for an adjustment in your behavior. Almost like you grew up unloved and criticized by people who despise and judged your every action so you became aggressive to assert some sense of control over your life.

I think if I concentrate my psionic energy correctly I can blow myself up.

[Time to boost DEX]

I don't understand how Maggie does it.

I leave a cabin miles from any sign of civilization for five minutes and you people implode, I swear.

Who the–

Hating people who just go around shouting isn't criminal either.

She's... fine. All I said was that she was bloody loud, that's not a fucking crime.

||you know what? fuck u *changes ur font to papyrus*

Try it, I've got some new tricks.

See you soon! I'm going there now because you're so FUCKING loud.

...But on the fourth night, she finally feels some of her vigor return. She makes time to simply sit, and somehow this experiment's char marks lend her dinner a deeper flavor instead of another rendition of Duck A La Burnt. (Bill is unharmed, besides a baffling entrapment in a section of the roof.)

The trip to the cabin hasn't quite been what she'd expected. In the quiet, she manages more research, and at the lakefront she trains, reaching a new height of strength that leaves her feeling better prepared for her next engagement. And yet at night, her mind still twists itself into knots.

there ain't nothing i can't do with a gun!

𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓶𝓮 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓽𝔂 𝓫𝓸𝔂~

You impotent fool.

If karma doesn't kill you, I will.

Surely nothing has gone awry in her absence...

She spent the heat of the day in study at the cabin's desk after a long morning of moving through combat forms in the cool shade of the forest, favoring flowing, comfortable clothing that allowed a better range of movement.

they had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.

Your anger drives you.

"I dont mind solitude, but... I wouldn't begrudge a visit or two, either. Depending on the parties, obviously."

...I will not be gone much longer. You should know I'm transferring to new lodgings. Thank you, Maggie.

The memories we share together are my greatest treasure.

I have been gone for [one week.]

Hm. You sound rather proud of that one. I won't be long, I only need time to pack my books and inform Barth of my checkout. [Barth probably hasn't received such courtesy in his entire career.]

Truly...? ...That's actually quite tempting. I haven't been able to focus, I'm exhausted [constantly.] I think I need time to, well, think.

Well, by the look of things right now, [you'd] find me. Good evening, Eshenesra.

What if I just left town and didn't think about this at all. What about that.

Is it conundrum, or confusion? With you it's always questionable.

what the fuck

...Gods help me. Fuck.

||as if i did not manifest the instant that conversation occurred....

About bloody time.

Hmph. ...You shouldn't let people be so rude to you. That was my only point.

I HAD NOTICED.

if there were two INT casters in Suzail and one killed the other one with a naginata would that be fucked up or what

WHY DO YOU THINK I'M EVEN TRYING? FOR FUN? YOU THINK I'M MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF FOR THE THE SPORT OF IT? (Honestly, it's... sort of cathartic. Usually her mind only finds focus in academics or combat. This makes her frustration feel less, somehow. And for once, she isn't worrying over her bite.)

I do not see it

Its ego is as sturdy as slate. Just leave it, it doesn't go after anything its own weight as it is.

Pestering that thing.

Stop that.

full disclosure, i am a monster. a creature of despair—— not that that should be a cause for concern.

You impotent fool.

I am considering violence....

I didn't. I mean I– But I'm not saying. This... is an infuriating conversation.

[UGGGGGGGH FEELINGS.... She mumbles something far too quickly to be heard intelligibly, but far too long to be a passing thought.]