if you don't know the meaning to your life， then make me that meaning， and use me as the reason to live.

‘til death do us part， please keep breaking my heart. ‘til it ceases to beat， please be mine.

you drew stars around my scars，but now i'm bleeding.

i did not mean to become like this: a monster， a leviathan. a killer， a weapon of war. but i know nothing of peace， and what solace can i seek if not in blood?

just stay by my side until i disgust you.

i've gotten so good about not flinching at the sound of your name that people don't know i'd still throw myself mouth-open into the ocean for the chance to drown somewhere you might see it.

that passion … is focused squarely on me.

in a way， you are poetry material; you are full of cloudy subtleties i am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out. words burst in your essence and you carry their dust in the pores of your ethereal individuality.

tender is the lover who is soon to kill their beloved.

it's been a long time since i've been me.

did you get enough love， my little dove? why do you cry?

i was not made for this kind of test. i will break apart. i will not remain. i will come undone and you will never see me again.

or am i too weak to save you in the end?

i love you. infinitely and inexpressibly. i've woken up in the middle of the night and here i am writing this. my love， my happiness.

i’ve never once regretted saving you.

we were like gods at the dawning of the world， and our joy was so bright we could see nothing else but the other.

if you want to kill me， kill me. there's meaning in that too.

grief， i’ve learned， is really just love. it’s all the love you want to give but cannot. all that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes， the lump in your throat， and the hollow part of your chest.

and if you're thinking of me， i'm probably thinking of you.

right now， i'm so in love that i don't even fear death.

and now you are going to die ugly and alone. bitterness has left you unlovable， but it doesn't matter anyway. this is how it was always going to be. you know this. you've always known. you wrote the script.

are you a boy or are you just your trauma?

i love you. i want you to look at me and love me too. we’ve come too far to turn back. i’m already too deep into you.

you're a god， do you think i'm evil?——if you accept that he is you， just as you are you， then yes， you are evil.

you're a defiant act of creation. you're a whole solar system pretending to be a person.

i'll mourn the word companion. i won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay. knowing i'll spend the next twenty years trying to scrub you out of my nails.

but when i die， i want it to hurt. i want to get beaten up. i want to hold on until i'm thrown off and everything ends. until that happens， i want to hope again. and i want it to hurt. because that means it meant something.

i'll quiet down if it's what you want. i understand i'm not the only one for you.

i am not the first person you loved. you are not the first person i looked at with a mouthful of forevers. we have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife.

no matter how many times you're reborn， i will always find you. ᛤ no matter how many times i'm reborn， i wonder， will you ever give up on me?

if this is what i’ve become， then i don’t want to be me anymore.

i know its over， and it never really began， but in my heart it was so real.

if god is love， but you don't feel love， are you a godless being?

i cannot pretend i do not feel this between us. i cannot pretend i don't want to love you.

i remember， and remembering is like an open wound.

just because you've done something bad... doesn't make you bad.

if you feel nothing then why are you shaking?

something horrible is happening inside of me and i don't know why. my nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. i feel lethal， on the verge of frenzy. i think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

i tried to save us. i really wanted to tell you that i tried. but it was too late. you resent me not for the things i did... but for the things i did not. how can i try to save us… when there is no more us?

i'll quiet down if it's what you want. i understand i'm not the only one for you.

i have survived， but i have not been spared.

i love you. i love you too. i know that’s a sin， and i’ll probably go to hell for it. if i have a soul， i’ll go with you.

and if life is repeated a thousand times， still you， you， and again， you.

let's run away together forever，weren't you the one who said that?

i don't know what it is like to not have deep emotions. even when i feel nothing， i feel it completely.

you were my home， mother. i had no home but you.

i'd rather think of this as a confession: you are still the first person i want to share new things with.

but if the object was not to stay alive， but to stay human，what different did it ultimately make?

my creation was not right，and i hung limp when i wasn’t needed.

he can’t die … because he's my first friend.