Day 4 of Going Away and honestly it’s still not really making me feel any better

I’d like to apologize for earlier, specifically the part where I was a little bitch. I assure you that I will either outgrow it or find clever ways to make it amusing in the future. 😉 (It’s just been a rough week, it’s really nothing awful though)

I think the major thing that’s been bothering me lately is that I don’t feel like I don’t have the right to call myself a woman. I don’t feel as if I’ve earned anything yet. I’ve just been a guy. It feels like I’m pretending. I don’t feel like I deserve to be here. And I know I’m being stupid.

“Ennui” and “malaise” are great words for when you wanna complain about feeling crappy but you wanna be a little fancy with it.

I swear I’m not depressed, just finding it really hard to feel like I’m included in anything right now. Everything feels like I’m on the outside of it. I don’t really feel like I belong to a group and that stupid voice keeps telling me not to expect it. Maybe I’m just exhausted from the last week.

Okay. I think I’m done with the holiday now. Now I’m just ready to get the rest of this year over with and see if the next one is any kind of improvement.

Mom said me and the trans were on the MySpace chatroom sending emoticons to each other and then they made me trans and that’s why I wouldn’t talk to her

Hey. Quit your job and come over.

I’m sorry Disney, but putting Chris Evans in the movie isn’t gonna make up for the fact that Steven Miller is in it. Also Venezuela is a strange choice for a filming location but go off.

She jingle on my bells til I deck her halls

Listen… Shut up. 😄

To be absolutely clear: it’s not a weight thing AT ALL. It’s a “hide my outline” thing. I’ve realized that for many more years than I realized I was a woman. I don’t like my shape to be obvious because my shape looks relatively male to me. I never took my shirt off to swim either. 🤦🏻‍♀️

The masculine urge to dance around in a pleated skirt

My coworker also asked me why I wear such a large shirt yesterday. I was confused. She told me the size I was wearing was draping off of me. Said I needed at LEAST one more size down. I honestly thought it was too tight. Chat, is this dysphoria I didn’t notice?

I’ve stuck to my nighttime “walk when you start to get dumb brain” routine and I’m positive I’ve seen some effects even after only a week. Not only have I been less dumb in the brain, I noticed my belly seems…flatter? Less rotund? Something anyway!

Hey scientists, forget making the phones thinner, make glasses that don’t get scratched all to hell if you wipe them with your shirt. I wanna clean them with sandpaper if I want to.

I don’t care if he lived among the elves for decades or not, he’s a human. He’s got a human pancreas. He definitely is either diabetic or bound to be within a year or two. Do elves know how to make insulin? I only ever saw them making Etch A Sketches.

I just remembered that I also cried when I was informed as a young person that I had to start shaving my face and that it was a lifetime commitment if I didn’t want facial hair. I cried about it for days. OMG I was such an egg.

Avengers: Doomsday? Oh what a relief, I know my Bible, that means there’s nothing after this one. (This is a joke, if you like Marvel movies we can still hang out and stuff.)

I haven’t watched a Marvel movie in five years and from the reactions I’m seeing here today, I guess I haven’t missed much. It was fun for a few years but then it started feeling like a homework assignment. Watch this show, watch these two movies, remember that guy from ten movies ago? He’s back! 😴

I found this sign vaguely threatening. Send them back, I don’t want the livers, make them go away.

And now, that fun thing I try to do for many hours but ends up being only a couple of hours: sleep! (Not my fault this time, I was “enchanted by the spirit of the holidays” or whatever you call it when you wander a Kohl’s looking for presents and shit)

When I was a child, my folksy grandfather told me to eat something because it would “put hair on my chest”. I was terrified. I refused to eat. #therewerenosigns

I have no clue. I was walking in the store and I went up to it and was like “hey this would look nice on me at a gathering or something, idk” No. Stop it. Bad Claire. You have to at least learn how to dress yourself first! Shopping before I’m even girlmoding, good lord 🤦🏻‍♀️

Listen. NO.

Every time I mention cum in a post it’s the most popular thing I do that day. You people are depraved and I wanna meet every one of you. ❤️💕❤️

The first time someone introduces me to another person as their “girlfriend”, I might die of shock. Or hump their leg. You know, whatever feels right at the time.

Me attempting to figure out who’s in which relationship with who on my mutuals list: so who’s fucking Pepe Silvia then?

Hello sharks. I’m seeking $100,000 for an 80% stake in my company. I’m not trying to get rich, I’m trying to get off. 😎

I started reading Dorley about three weeks ago (restarted from the beginning since I’d not gotten far the first time). On my ereader it’s 3,992 pages and I’m already on 2,162. I used to be a quick reader but this is probably the most I’ve read in a while. (I also read another book in between this.)

Why yes, I WILL be posting every dumbass thought that comes across my mind tonight, why do you ask?

Me using the search function: no, no, I don’t want the top posts, I want the bottom posts, where are the bottoms

Ah yes, I remember reading about how the United States visited Greenland with their mighty exploration fleet in 1725, 51 years before the Revolutionary War, with their flux capacitors.

Someone on the phone just told me I “sound like a bitch” and I got all warm and tingly 😊

Based on something I said earlier.

The full spiked 60 Minutes CECOT package, clean & subtitled. 1/5

I’m apparently on a list called “Drama - mute recommended” and I think that’s really neat. 😊

More people are gonna see this one 60 Minutes segment than the total number of 60 Minutes viewers for the last two years, and I think that’s beautiful.

I don’t get it, why do I need a book? You make posts about trains and cum and trans girls like them. Easy.

The best part about Trump being on camera all the time is that it significantly increases the chances that he will be on camera when he… …shakes a world leader’s hand and does a nice press conference where he talks about policy. What? What did you think I was gonna say? you want me to get a BAN?

Next up in low-poly, PS1-ass warfighting vehicles: the Trump-class armored vehicles that are just ripped off from the tanks from the original Tron.

Why aren’t you transitioning yet (wrong answers only)? I’ve read a lot about convergent evolution and I’m quite concerned that no matter what happens, I will eventually turn into a crab

I’m gonna do a transition timeline but the first picture is just gonna be a micrograph of a fertilized zygote and then the picture of me in the present day

Absolutely not. You don’t get to use USS Defiant on this POS. Benjamin Sisko would throw you out an airlock for this.

Every time my coworker mentions that he thinks gay and trans people will go to hell, I get a little more gay and trans. He is only consolidating my powers.

slep 💤

Can’t wait for Mr Beast’s next video, in which a man is forced to roll a large boulder uphill and then at the top the boulder rolls back down and the man is forced to roll the boulder back to the top again. At the end Mr Beast tries to sell you a branded energy drink, Mr Beast’s Sisyphus Punch.

NO I'M GONNA BE DRAMATIC ABOUT IT