Had kbbq and all my worries washed away.

I cant believe ive signed myself up to basically be in a constant panic for the next 2-3 months.

If you stop and think about it, Kingdom Hearts 1 and Wind Waker have the same plot.

And if you didn't clap along to the instant classic, "Count the Rice", we can't be friends. 👏👏

Me after not drinking any water today "god why does my head hurt so bad." And I will never learn

This week will either make or break my mental health. I had plans with my current job to transition to working from home when we move to Oregon. Both my old director and the VP who approved it have left the company. My new director is going to have their decision by end of this week. Send vibes.

Now seeking: a bear polycule that doubles as a barbershop quartet.

Using the word “yummy” in a sexual context should be a punishable offense.

In the future, there’s an Activia ad campaign featuring Megan thee Stallion promoting good gut health because real hot girls shit.

Maybe ill get lucky and be struck by lighting today, but in a give me super powers kind of way.

I dont i don't know if I'll survive this new boss.

Today is one of those days where I’d gladly greet an asteroid with open arms.

Ive never had a director use AI to respond to basic message about low team morale. Until today.

Oh boy has its been a daaaaay. Gonna curl up in a blanket and start SoulSilver

About to have a little Menty B from the amount of recruiters that reach out to me and then ghost me after I tell them I'm interested.

I have simple wants. I just want tattoos, dicks to suck, and an occasional Costco hotdog. 😫

The worst part about having a great long weekend is having to walk back into the hellish depths of corporate America on Monday

yeah, you could say I’m an ally

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Should be hearing about a job offer this week and the wait is making me so anxious.

Man I could really go for a Funyuns Sour Cream & Onion Funyuns Onion Flavored Ring.®️ right about now.

Heavenly Father, please give me a job offer. I want to quit so bad. Amen.

You should watch Witch Har Atelier. ✨

I wonder what fresh horrors await me at the office today.

Anyone wanna keep me company while Jason does his overnight sleep study tonight?

Welp.... someone hijacked my steam account. Fingers crossed the recovery ticket goes through.

*Flirts with you by liking your selfies/nudes and never speak to you*

On my commute this morning, I saw a firetruck turn onto the road where my office is and silently hoped the building was on fire.

"the R slur is coming back" not within slapping distance of me it's not

Raise your hand if this job market feels hopeless 🙋‍♂️

Now I just want to take a whiskey water bong rip. Thanks, Allie

Sometimes we'll make boeuf bourguignon for dinner, other nights(tonight) we make Kraft Mac and cheese and Hotdogs. And i love that about us.

Can you have toooooo much miso soup? I hope not.

Man, the digimon movie really was peak. The writing. The animation. The soundtrack.

I was singing too loud on my drive home and gave myself a headache.

Im so glad my horrible stomach pain from last night finally cleared up in time for me to clock into work. I didnt want to enjoy my time off the clock anyway!

In one of those "there are so many things I want to do, but dont have enough time because I have to work 40 hours a week." Kind of moods.

💋🫴 ❤️ and to you

Fuck it, Zordon Mamdani

My biggest Op at work got let go and I can hear the angels singing hallelujah.

I love you so much, friend-shaped creature

Gays be like "I needed this." And its just a bears tummy Tuesday story on Instagram. Its me. Im Gays

Silk robe. Lavender tea. Hydrating mask.

Screw this boy, I've got Tomodachi Life Pedro Pascal falling for me.

Had to shave my chest (for an EKG/cardiac stress test) and we're anmt the VERY. ITCHY. Part of growing it back.

At some point I developed the cuntiest vibrato and you all have to deal with it.