"it's pronounced 'wienerslave'."

anyway i really love vacation sunscreen

watching MST3K and a character in the movie getting riffed addressed another character by her name, Gloria tom servo erupts into song about a gloria, i am unfamiliar with the song i too, erupt into song, singing gloria from the midnight

“Look! People in the back are swimming and sipping margaritas in the salaries of 200 Millennial fools who thought it might finally be a good time to buy a house in Seattle and start having kids,” said one onlooker as the billionaire’s 387-foot floating luxury barely fit through the Ballard Locks.

the shit some of you freaks ask for community notes on what the fuck

i am sorry to report that unless our angry orca friends have evolved to live in fresh water, zuck's tacky ass mega yacht is quite safe. from orca attack, anyway.

it was the worst of times it was the worst of times

Zuckerberg Docks Annual Salary of 1,400 Laid-Off Meta Workers in Seattle: tinyurl.com/yc8kwpu9

big shout out to my property management company for allowing maintenance to turn the water off to the building without telling us, and completely ignoring any calls or emails inquiring about the lack of water.

the way i see it billionaires can either be willingly taxed or be forcefully eaten.

we should absolutely believe the humanitarian and philanthropist jeff bezos when he says taxing him more won't solve anything. because he's never lied, has never caused harm to anyone, and is definitely not out to protect his ability to gain as much wealth as possible at our expense.

love how the mayor is hosting a billion talks about renting in seattle (it sucks, we need help now, not more photo ops) but we also have to show up to city hall to make sure city council isn't approving hyperscale data centers nobody fucking wants or asked for.

if you're not going to keep me signed in DO NOT FUCKING OFFER TO KEEP ME SIGNED IN

after my follow up imaging nothing else in my body is trying to kill me right now. which is great. now if society could stop, that would also be great.

elon thinks we're gonna starve after we eat the rich and i think we should start with him as a test. i bet we'll be fine.

glad we got to endure years of idiots shouting 'sleepy joe' only to watch the current president, a geriatric with dementia, shit his pants and fall asleep on national television. fucking spectacular.

even though we sat the whole time and i was pretty careful the concert on saturday night fucking destroyed me lol getting better but holy shit. it was worth it.

help i'm going to the midnight tonight and i don't remember how to be a human

Laurelhurst has fought against Seattle Children's from the moment they built there & moved from Queen Anne. This is a 70+ year hate from Laurelhurst towards SCH. www.historylink.org/File/4274

surgery update: everything went well and im home recovering. the incision near my belly button is particularly painful.

I LOVE IT WHEN COWORKERS CHERRY PICK INCOMING TICKETS LEAVING THE DIFFICULT ONES FOR THE FUCKING PERSON WHO HAS SURGERY TOMORROW YOU LAZY PRICKS REALIZE YOU WILL STILL BE SADDLED WITH THE WORK I CANNOT COMPLETE, RIGHT RIGHT??????????????????

i have named the two crows i am feeding belle and sebastian.

fuck alex carp and fuck palantir that turd should have been irrevocably shoved into a locker when we had the chance

surgery just got moved up from the 5th to this tuesday time to panic prep

i get my fucking appendix out FOUR DAYS before the midnight plays here in seattle 🥲

i have not one but two poop stones stuck in my appendix so that sucker will be coming out very soon

listen, i'm a militant atheist, and even i understand how goddamn batshit insane it is to argue theology with the fucking pope

so earlier i was walking shadow and saw a couple of crows. tossed a few treats and they loved it. threw a few more treats their way as we left. was walking to the trash and one of the crows did a fly by so close to my head it touched me. is this normal or am i in another abusive relationship?

the birth rate going down in general is good, as it means women (and literal girls) are no longer giving birth to babies they didn't want. a choice is all women ever asked for. but you have to be a special kind of evil to see declining birthrates in 13 to 19 year olds and think it's a bad thing.

actually, fox news, TEENAGE GIRLS NOT HAVING BABIES IS A GOOD THING, ACTUALLY

RIP, tapatio we had a good run

when you're the only person not captivated by the band wearing polka dots on social media dot com

i am glad to know that the tipping point wasn't new wars, state sanctioned murder, pedophilia, or rape. the tipping point, was trump posting an AI generated image of himself as jesus. not that he was healing epstein, but that he was pretending to be jesus. these people don't deserve to vote.

update: shadow is doing much better. im trying to not drive my car into the lake over how much i owe in vet bills now.

so we just got home from the fucking emergency vet again shadow has an infected gall bladder. and is taking nearly identical medication to treat that as i did to treat my appendicitis.

oh it's because the guy who's been here for five weeks got to go to another site that i haven't been able to visit in 2.5 years.

threads has invited me to participate in community notes nothing bad could ever happen

how the fuck did we fucking hire someone five fucking weeks ago and i am still fucking doing every single fucking ticket that fucking comes in fuck

whenever the govt breaks a ceasefire agreement it should be legal for us to take the next day off work to throw heavy objects through the local federal buildings windows

so, opening more tickets in a panic doesn't get you help faster. it actually takes longer because we have to do a lot more clicking than we would normally have to do, and then we have to go bitch about it online, before we can call you. so please just open the one ticket. thanks.

So the Strait of Hormuz, previously free, is now behind a paywall? ART OF THE DEAL!

i did not drink from the garden hose, stay out way too late, and bought cigarettes when i was nine years old with a note from my mom at the corner store for my life and this country to go down like a bitch

we should have known it's TACO tuesday after all

senators are calling for hopes and prayers and i'm thinking some bricks through some windows would be a lot more effective also, fucking spare me. violence is never the answer, until it is. how much violence are we expected to endure before we fight back.

residing somewhere between cyberpunk and the butlerian jihad

oh that was a really funny post too bad you disabled replies like a bitch and i had to block you so i'd never see your bitch posts again bitch

no but seriously, snitches get stitches.

anyway i'm pretty sure the fact i'm watching hoarder and natural disaster documentaries isn't a positive reflection of my mental health

adding 'malicious qr codes' to my list of things to fight back with