i disagree pay me

and selling tools built on ai data centers to help people predict markets and choose how to gamble their life savings on said tragedies

to every legit journalist in the white house press corps:

the next morning

econjuration

hegseth: you sit in your air conditioned offices, you don't know what's happening in active situations journalist: so what was happening hegseth: there was a FOG OF WAR so from my air conditioned office i didn't know what was happening

not my jimmy, not my eat world

gate night

Edinburgh is getting a brand new concert hall, the Dunard Centre - for the first time in 100 years, supported by SNP Scottish Government funding. What a delightful rendition of Caledonia by Dougie MacLean with pupils from Broughton Primary to mark the moment we broke ground. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

i don’t need a flu shot, i eat gas station food

getting here has taken 75 minutes of baking in the sun, during which i have aged an additional 14 months

also me but dinner's gonna hog all the attention like usual he's always been like that

mys elf

i've felt this way about my year too (2004) and i bet it goes on and up for some of those who came before me let's keep asking up and up until one class is like "oh, i love that i graduated my year" and so that's the first class we jump

harlan ellison would be proud

late to the party on this but one year after discovering the afikomen (hidden piece of matzah on passover), my older brother found me on a couch, yelped "find it!" and shattered it on my face. this was, of course, retribution for a years-earlier incident where i wiped a sandwich on his face. kids.

TIL that pennypinchers at Universal and the inexperienced director of DRAGONHEART took a movie that could have been an all-timer and made every possible decision to undermine and crapify its casting, story, performances, and themes and yet there are 4(?!?) sequels/prequels how unmotherly of them

and irony is the opposite

love good screen good screen joy hate bad screen bad screen sad good joy bad sad but all screen is screen good joy bad sad good joy sad bad good bad joy sad bad bad bad all screen bad bad screen bad bad bad bad bad bad bad beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee--* * * * * * * ☁️ 🌤️

factory farm ceo: think of it this way, now everybody gets all the eggs they want AND a FREE dollop of rat feces

spaghettin' it on

[me] 🎣 | | | | 🪝 [rage bait]

if i negotiated with the democrats i could get them to give me just about anything -- except, apparently, new democrats

that's why mine says "GNIHTYREVE KCUF"

if the bread is toasted, the bail must be posted

let's see ai try to write this shit no fucking way

jesus: what's with all the prayers is there a game on

i can't can't

will smith is the unspoken mvp of this postseason ⚾💥

i can't breathe

i can't look

is someone banging trash cans in toronto or what

starting to hallucinate about whether our entire universe exists within a giant baseball being used to play an even longer baseball game

seriously guys the stadium is running out of dirt

we have all pitched today and batted today and all of life is a teardrop we are baseball

if this world series game never ends did it ever really start

no exit vibes

"a.d." and "b.c." no longer apply to the historical record. years will now be measured as either "before game 3" or "after game 3"

happy monday! hot tip: start your week with a cheerful tune. i recommend singing "always look on the bright side of life" with every lyric replaced with "fuck."

be wary of a bullshit economy. a bearshit economy is close behind.

some nights you just want a cheeseburger like

when we all said they should re-open the government, we should have been more specific

happy monday, here's a delightful video that speaks to everything the federal government is presently doing to help the people of this country

his foot caught on an errant root and he tumbled down the hill, quickly gaining speed. "MONOCULTURE FOREVER!" he screamed, then made Seinfeld slap bass sounds as he slipped into a crevasse and out of our lives forever.

shaking hands with the milkman (for always delivering such fresh, delicious milk)

this is even more ominous than that time a bin full of dependable manufacturing jobs collapsed back in 1990

the more i am on bluesky, the less blue the sky becomes