sexually tortured by the live premiere of Half-Life 2 VR but the AI Is Self-Aware

long day at the office? don't forget - every 15 minutes, look at something 0 feet away for 10,000 seconds

https://youtu.be/kRaEXDJAEM8 jesus christ.

sublime translation

hey man. thank you for not hitting me with your truck while i crossed the street during the walk signal. i know that took restraint.

taxes taxes taxes taxes. tax extension deadline is right now. don't forget to do your taxes. we all love doing taxes

proud jazz adult floozy

i was gonna relax and play a video game or something but i got really caught up in the process of explaining Nightcore to an older gentleman

start mixing protein powder into canned soda at the factory. see if anybody notices. who even cares

(clearing my throat) a-hmlem:

posting fucked up pictures of the sewerslvt album cover girl having a good time with friends and smiling and engaging in wholesome life enriching activities

important bsky rt: https://bsky.app/profile/crashlapine.bsky.social/post/3mgnyoshbrs2o

but Nia, not to be outfucked,

🎶 and this was your idea of an escape from winter! it's not funny!

gently handing a palm full of seeds to natu so they get big and strong for the big day to take 2 prize cards off of blindside

tdick is probably the most ergonomic of the genital configurations when it comes to oral sex

niagara falls

in the torpedo tubes straight up "greasing it" - and by "it" well - haha - lets just say - my forward stop bolt

@Amberrrrrrr is a very good cat. and goes meow meow meow.

hi, i'm sarah maclachlan. will you be an angel for a helpless tboy twink? everyday innocent tboy twinks are being ignored, neglected, and forgotten. and they're crying out for dommy mommies

Radirgy Swag is now available on Steam for $7.79 USD

I need a trans milf.

saw a down and out on fedi last night. her post said not "uspol" or "content warning" but "I need a trans milf." what could this mean?

let's start a war. start a nuclear war. at the gay bar

[selfie eye contact] got my hair done a lil shorter :)

@niaco NO!!. you are NOT banned!! stop posting about how afraid you are of getting banned! I won't ban you!!

DOSET

cuppy dog city. puppy dog town. I am rotating it in my mind

@niaco dog driving bus. all passengers are dog. dof in seats. dog holding on to straps doggy buttons as stop buttons. announcer is dog.

scrolling through facebook sailing meme groups with a big smile. this is great. i get to watch old men argue about which tack in whatever position must give way to the other.

mispelling your own band name. i love you. smiling wide

cis boy SHOCKS trannies by meowing in PERFECT kitty cat

*puts cables to you, fore and aft* *girders you around*

apricot enters the particle accelerator

ホワイとグリントさま電話をかけ直してください

i would like to post this and i have no idea whether or not it needs a content warning. this is fun

Cloudflare's AI chatbot is very useful for what I assume was 100% its intended purpose

they're treating me like the mighty fitz the way I Am Holding My Own

Didn't Buy A Car But I Wanted To

Tempted By Car

@[email protected] public transport that is a bunch of puppies carrying you where you need to be. public transport that brings puppies where they need to be

dogbus. dogbus. bus for dogs. dog that is a bus. dog-based universal serial standard. bus constructed entirely out of dogs. dog constructed entirely out of buses. pluribus parody with dog. a puppygirl speedrunner misses the frame dog bus she was going for

was spending my morning thinking "god, i remember being really dissatisfied with that short story i wrote. i don't remember why. i should fix it." i open it up today. oh. i actually like it a lot, now. alright. cool!

(greg universe voice) this life i chose isn't easy... but sure is one **FUCK** of a ride...

for the first time in 9 years, i have a controller to use for my pc games besides the switch procon, my fightstick, or a gamecube controller the ps4 controller is so fucking nice yall. the switch procon feels so cheap. i could never revert. i feel cruel for having played shit like […]

LIKE A FUCKING SUN!

note on my (broken) car asking me if i can move it. but they started it with "meowdy". like, shit, yeah honey. anything for you. you're one of us

warmweather birds are outsite, chittering to meee~