Ah yes, the Labour party. Famously…anti labour. www.theguardian.com/society/2025...

I have applied to adopt a cat from a shelter, and I have been rejected because I (checks notes) live near a body of water. I’m struggling to understand why living a few roads from a river is bad for cats…

A List of Things Said to Have Been Ruined by Women 🧵

Had to be in Windsor today and…man. There were certainly a lot of flags up in trees and on light posts. Everybody need a reminder of what country they’re in, or is it racism?

People often give me weird looks when I get on the plane and begin mopping down my surfaces with a disinfectant wipe or several, but I feel wholly vindicated after just watching somebody change a diaper on the little tray table. Just…right on there.

I learned today that two different households on my road both believe they own the same cat. Well played, cat.

I have heard of a total of 5 people on the Celebrity Traitors.

Flu in the right arm, Covid in the left arm, Conjuring movie loaded up, snacks at the ready. Big Saturday thrills!

Well I had a challenging working weekend in Germany, but I was told that my accent is beautiful, so nationalists at home can put that in their proverbial pipe and smoke it.

I am in Berlin for work, and my hotel room has furnished me with a glow stick. Apparently for ‘emergency use’. Can the fact that I want to use my glow stick constitute an emergency?

Say, has our general met the enemy?

…Portland?

Sky News and the BBC repeatedly mention the "migrant crisis" in doing so they are normalising and legitimising far right talking points. There is no "migrant crisis", there is only migrant hysteria, which the British media is feeding into instead of countering.

Honestly, all CharcoPress needs to do is announce a book and I buy it.

Didn’t have big plans for the weekend, but sounds like, as an immigrant, I’d better head down to the park and *checks Reform’s notes* eat a few swans.

I wish they *would* all get raptured. Can you imagine the collective sigh of relief?

This has never happened to me before, but my day was so unusually stressful that now, having arrived home, I have broken out in hives. Is this a thing? I don’t want it to be a thing!

No. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

Oh they’re going to cart him round in the golden chariot on this state visit, are they? I’ve had enough.

Did you know that padron peppers—normally so mild and perfectly delicious—can get absurdly hot in September? Because I just ate one so hot that it reorganised my brain cells. My eardrums quivered! I could smell concepts! I could see physics!

Thought I was being clever to have my phone off until about 5 past the hour. Then I got the alert 7 minutes past the hour and about jumped out of my skin.

Someone in my neighbourhood has had a Union Jack up for a long time (for what I suppose were decorative purposes and not racist ones). Last week, they switched it out for a Ukrainian one. We love to see it.

Amazing that people voted in Labour and instead got Reform.

Sections of the media and politicians are making an incredible effort this summer to convince the public Britain is overcome with an anti-migrant movement. In reality, it’s the far right and a few angry locals who will go back inside once it gets a bit chilly.

@the-rsc.bsky.social really enjoyed Timon of Athens this week—extremely cool to see so many young talents at work. Thanks for giving them the platform and giving us the chance to see them soar!

For TERMINAL SURREAL's video trailer, we're creating a chorus of voices reflecting #MarthaSilano's influence. To participate, record yourself reading Silano's “Death Poem” w/a voice memo/recorder app on your phone & email us at [email protected] for where to text the file. Due: Fri., Aug 22.

I had a real Men Explain Things to Me corporate day. If you know, you know.

The Labour government certainly does find money for the things it prioritises. www.theguardian.com/world/2025/a...

Since our ancient cat sadly died, I’ve been befriending the next-door neighbour’s cat. Anyway, she lives under my bed now.

Some days, I love England for my fellow citizens’ respect for nature. Other days, like today, I’m trying to explain to my neighbours that it’s unlawful to burn rubbish in the garden.

Or we could do today? Regardless of agreement? We could just do now.

Today, a lady refused to sit next to me and my husband because we wear masks on the plane. So that was an effective way to get a row to ourselves for a lengthy flight. Follow me for more pro tips!

Yesterday, I had lunch by a pool. A (I think) German lady of considerable years and formidable size walked up to said pool, gave it a long look, then executed a tremendous cannonball. Needless to say, this is my new role model.

Fascinating that Labour have independently invented the concept of a GP.

Look. Our household tries to encourage biodiversity. But some cat—100% not my cat—just sauntered past me in my bedroom as I was putting on my pyjamas.

I spent yesterday in an infusion ward (it was fine! I’m fine) with many hours to listen to music and podcasts, and I realised I have tastes that are not conducive to mood boosting or anxiety reduction.

I'm pretty sure Kamala Harris wouldn't be bombing us into an illegal war right now

I would like to have hope that Starmer won’t get on board with this. But I think Starmer will absolutely get on board with this.

I have no words.

illegal war started by a man constitutionally ineligible to be president

Had to have a corporate headshot taken today and WOW. I didn’t think it would look great but I didn’t realise how aggressively bad I would appear.

Officially, I became a British citizen when I swore the oath. But on a separate level, I became a British citizen today when I found a FOX in my bloody HOUSE.

Pet grief is awful. I’m not making a novel observation here, but man. I want my cat back.

Running on very little sleep today, I signed off an email “all beast.”

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I can’t emphasise enough what a blockheaded and ignorant position this is.

When the rail replacement coach is the superior part of your train journey, you know you’re on Chiltern Rail.

Yesterday I saw a production of Titus Andronicus that was so bloody that the first 2 rows of the theatre were supplied with splash tarps. This is really what I’m looking for in my theatre experience, I have to say.

Italy was robbed. The results are highly…questionable. Good for Austria, though!