Dear Admissions Committee, If only I could hand over the keys to my lab to them. I am sure they will achieve tenure before even taking their qualifying exam. My recent grant is based on their drunken doodle. *Recommendation letter not sent, no deadline included in email request.

"I didn't think the leopards would eat my face" says a local woman who supported and campaigned for the face-eating leopard party and recently had her face eaten by a leopard.

Re-resubmission in so...

Your pettiness will not be forgotten

Have you ever heard of chess pie?

Apologies don’t end you accountability requirements, they start them.

Trust me said the spider to the fly

This CW feed for the Duke game is not great. Even the score graphic isn't clear.

My first ship was Boyz II Men and En Vogue. I waited til the end of the road and never got it.

How come my Apple Watch doesn't recognize when I am standing in the kitchen?

If nothing else, the last nine months should have made it clear that elections matter. But what’s remarkable about America is that we have the power, as citizens, to change this country by voting. Go to IWillVote.com.

Drake waking up this morning

So Drake lost again lol

People showed us who they really were yesterday dressing up like a nazi, in blackface, and other nonsense. The consequences of those actions will catch up to you. When you have your teary eyed apology, we’ll know it is not because you feel bad about what you did, but because of what you lost.

May we all have the same courage and fortune of Duke going for and making the two point conversion on the road to beat Clemson.

How did life begin, and why does it matter? Scientists are tracing early microbial life–from LUCA to multicellularity–to unlock insights for biotech, climate science and even space exploration. Read the article: asm.org/articles/202...

I think about this a lot.

This is crazy! Imagine making a “smart” bed that only operated over internet connection (with no manual controls) and you got stuck sitting up and hot because of an amazon web service outage. What a time to be alive. arstechnica.com/gadgets/2025...

Come be my chair at The University of Arizona! We have great bike riding, hiking, and of course, science! arizona.csod.com/ux/ats/caree...

U of A didn't sign www.abc15.com/news/state/u...

I just finished the Costco 100k. There are three Costcos in Tucson, and if you go from point to point to point, it is about 100 kilometers. For this ride, we are a hotdog at each one (final hotdog was back at the starting point). 8.5 out of 10 would do it again. Can I get a Kirkland sponsorship?

10 year anniversary of this tweet was yesterday. It is just so

New paper: Dried soil bacteria enter dormancy with "frozen" RNA & metabolite profiles—but water vapor alone can wake them up! #Microbiology #SoilScience #Dormancy #ClimateChange #MicroSky

Bro said “I say regular words that are tricky to you”

As of this post, the nfc north is the only division where every team is over .500.

Here is a baby turtle on its birthday trying to make it to the ocean on instinct. He made it and you can make it through this week too.

Tomorrow we kick-off #BlackInMicro Week with "Pathways for Change" day. Join Dr. Johnson, Camille Smith, Dr. Sobers, Dr. Motley-Johnson & Dr. Jeffers-Francis for an insightful talk. Secure your spot: linktr.ee/BlackInMicro. Support the cause: tinyurl.com/GiveBiM#BlackInMicro(links in bio)

Loyola University Chicago is greatly saddened to confirm the death of Sister Jean Dolores Schmidt, BVM. This is a tremendous loss of someone who touched the lives of so many people. We appreciate everyone’s thoughts & prayers during this difficult time. For more information: https://bit.ly/4o7eIUk

This makes me sad

Dr. Jacinda Abdul-Mutakabbir (JAM), an antimicrobial researcher and assistant professor at the University of California, provides insights on communicating complex scientific topics as a community educator. youtu.be/giyAR9XIEO0

We're excited to welcome Glen McGugan, Ph.D., as ASM’s Scientific Director of the Mechanism Discovery unit! He’ll lead efforts advancing discovery-driven microbial sciences in physiology, genetics, genomics & more. ➡️ Learn more about the unit: asm.social/2Dy

I do biomedical research to help people. When people come in this space making things up, it makes it harder for people not in the field to trust the extensive studies that we do and distinguish fact from fiction. Baseless claims reduce future cures. Willful ignorance drives us backwards.

Is there another mass twitter exodus happening?

Figured people needed some good news today newatlas.com/environment/...

Jess Simms like a boss!

Job alert ‼️ UChicago Micro is hiring! Open to tenured/tenure track faculty at all levels in any area of microbiology. Come join our amazing and growing department. apply.interfolio.com/174404

The feeling of resubmitting a manuscript that has been dramatically improved over the first submission.

We’re hiring! The Berkeley School of Education is hiring a tenure track Assistant Professor of AI and STEM education. Due 10/23. aprecruit.berkeley.edu/JPF05125

For over 60 years, Jane Goodall was a force for research about our precious planet—and climate change action to protect it—while breaking glass ceilings along the way. I'll so miss her courage and commitment to help expand what we know about our world and preserve it for the generations to come.

What did she say about elbow grease?

Paul with the handshakes

Frantically googling what flapjack means in England.

This was my self care this morning. A sprint triathlon in the rain. Better than super hot imho.

We initiated this open letter yesterday, before the solicitation came out. We made an update this morning, and are working on additional response and actions focused on the eligibility change. Please sign and share the letter if you can! And add an email for updates. bsky.app/profile/jaso...

Gutted that only first year PhD students can apply for the NSF GRFP now.

What raised the life expectancy so drastically was science, plain and simple. Please take the phone away so we don't go further backwards. Children are going to suffer, and it is heartbreaking.

Effective today grants.nih.gov/news-events/....

Is there a scheduling app that puts holds on your calendar so that when you say you are free for an hour here and there 2 weeks in advance, that time doesn't get filled? These doodle polls are killing me...taking control...scheduling