Had to adjust my sleep pattern prediction spreadsheet to be accurate as it's been inaccurate for two weeks. If the current pattern holds I have to reschedule all my appointments. I am praying it drifts again so I can keep them. Sometimes it all feels impossible.

... Oh fuck I just realized I made up some cold brew the night before I got really sick. It's been steeping for like, 4 days. This shit is gonna be lethal lmao

I watch woodturning videos because they're soothing. Many of the thumbnails are clickbait, putting unprepared items onto the chuck just for an eye catching image. But I'm now seeing AI gen ones where the item doesn't even match at all. How dare you bring that into my chill time - is nothing sacred?!

Sometimes when I am fiddling with the alarm on my phone I think about how some people have thought my sleeping disorder is caused by a lazy aversion to meticulous effort. I have to manually adjust an alarm every day by two hours.

My ribs and abs and muscles in my back I didn't even know about still hurt from violently dry heaving yesterday. I'm still shocked at how bad that was and also how short lived it was.

I was thinking about how disappointing I find the available options for hair sticks and then thought "it's a STICK how hard could it be to craft one?" leading me to discover the wonderful world of butcher block accent strips on etsy

I've spent the last 12 hours so intensely sick that I couldn't keep water down and I was dry heaving all day and sweaty with a fever. Since I couldn't keep anything down I also went into withdrawals from all my meds. I seem okay now but that was godawful.

ai cat videos creeping me out lately - I'm sure I'm not always catching that they're ai but when I do it's usually because it's uncanny and that uncanny "that's not quite how cats behave/emote/move" is eerie as shit.

Received a letter in the mail saying that snap can no longer pay for soda pop - yeah okay, I'll be sure to avoid using all ZERO DOLLARS you sent me to buy soda.

Met a guy at the bus stop who was from out of town and asking about food banks because of *vague gesturing* - because he clocked me as a local he was trying to be diplomatic at first with his frustration with the state but I bluntly said "yeah social services in Utah absolutely suck" and he relaxed

happy baseball to all who celebrate

I accidentally trained Historian to requests pets by pawing at me - I trim her nails so this is fine - but my mom has always struggled to understand cat body language and requests for attention. But she understands being softly slapped! So everyone wins.

Video totally unrelated to plants: Me: *pointing at thing in the background* POTHOS

Something I've been trying to think of how to articulate that I think I just thought of how... it seems like some people think of the "death of the author" interpretive lens as something the author is supposed to facilitate for the audience. Which is very strange when you think about it.

Mom: When is daylight savings time? Me: Uh... Sunday Mom: Are we going back or forward? Me: Spring forward, fall back Mom: But are we gaining or losing an hour? I like when we gain an hour Me: ... is the number going up... good? Mom: ... what? Me: I'm sorry time doesn't mean anything to me

The nosepad came off my glasses and I can't find it again. I stuck an unused earplug on the remaining wire stump so it doesn't stab me in the face. Staring at the clock willing time to pass faster so I can go to the optician and get this fixed.

Historian (the cat): *meowing a lot* Mom: What's she talking about? Me: Oh, she thinks I'm chasing her Me: ... To be fair I am chasing her Me: She started running away and it activated something Mom: Well it's good to be in touch with your instincts

There's a dude on here who reposts my personal posts, which I don't have a problem with, it's just confusing what said posts could possibly mean to people who aren't already somewhat interested in the fact I exist. If that dude in particular would repost this one too that'd be really funny.

Hey so... this is the second time I've had a fibro flare and then it rained. I don't like that. I know I'm 40 but I am not ready to be the one massaging my ankle saying "it's gonna rain"

👍

My chronic pain is worse and for the last week I've been sleeping 12 hours each night plus a 4 hour nap. I'm not fighting it because I'm sure that'd be worse but it is slowly driving me nuts.

Interestingly while most people receive my message about the necessity of sleep positively, a couple were unsure because they like being awake excessively long for whatever reason. I love being an informed consent girlie, there's no actual conflict there for me.

[At the grocery store, in my own little world marching through the cereal isle] Random strange woman: GOOD EVENING! Me: ... Woman: GOOD EVENING! GOOD EVENING!! Me: *stunned* uh good morning! Wait, no, good evening uh *laughs* Woman: IT IS OKAY! WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES!

[medical conversation between a woman and a woman at the front desk that lead to mention of some imaging done on her] Woman: ... you can really see how big my ass is 😒 Front desk: *very quietly* It's not really a bad thing tho 😏 Woman: ... Woman: *cackling with glee*

It's always funny telling people I like having my hair extremely extremely long because this way I don't really have to style it. The look as they realize for the first time it's too heavy to look like anything else

My mom became enamored of youtube shorts and is showing me AI babies send help

Mom: Look at this! Me: … Yep, that sure is Miley Cyrus Mom: She’s not little Hannah Montana anymore! Me: Mom, she’s like, 30. It’s been decades.

My mom has another appointment today so more sleep deprivation - BUT, when I come home after this I can SLEEP. I am thinking about that to give me strength.

The internet went out sometime today while I was asleep and only after did I discover something is wrong with my audio so I can’t spend the outage with any audio or video media on my hard drive

Tomorrow my mom has a doctor's appointment, which is her first time out of the apartment building since coming home from the rehab center. I'll need to accompany her to make sure it goes smoothly so once again staring down the barrel of sleep deprivation yaaaaay.

I dropped an entire case of sparkling water in glass bottles on CONCRETE while trying to strap it to my bike and somehow not a single bottle broke. I'm not allowed to complain about my luck for at least a week I think.

Gotta admit I have personal beef with the popular myth that all people pre-electricity woke up in the middle of the night. That was a thing in europe among farmers as far as I know. There isn't evidence of it being a universal default sleep pattern among those not exposed to unnatural light

Thinkin' about ten years ago when I was apartment hunting and one apartment building we found had a curfew. God. There are man made horrors beyond my comprehension in Clearfield.

Me: It's so funny when I come across people finding out not everyone has an internal monologue Mom: Who the HELL doesn't have an internal monologue Me: *raises hand* Me! I don't Mom: What the fuck Me: I told you this before Mom: That's... *so* unfair! 😠 Me: Yeah that's what you said last time too

My post about the ethical necessity of letting people sleep as much and in the manner they need to taking off is really heartening considering the day I posted it, because of the combination of my responsibilities, my sleeping disorder, and chronic pain, I ended up awake for 28 hours. It sucked.

Sleep is a biological necessity, and sleep deprivation has real physical, psychological, and social consequences that need to be taken seriously. The way our society treats it as slothful to sleep according to natural rhythms (including midday naps and variant chronotypes like night owls) is evil.

I was looking at shortbread recipes because I wanted to understand it a little more deeply for upcoming lemon bars (like, melted vs softened butter, that sort of thing) so I can safely ignore when a recipe is advising me to go the lazy but serviceable route and improve the results.

One of the benefits of changing the font on my desktop to Atkinson Hyperlegible is I can tell at a glance whether something says AI (computer thing) or Al (the human name) and it's making me think san-serif fonts are an abomination. Also once again *everything* needs to let me use this font.

People keep saying "let's go, lesbians" but we need to also remember: let's rest, lesbians

Having one of those days where I keep hoping the pain will be better later and/or after I take something and then it gets worse.

I still sometimes think about how people will justify comparison comments on art by saying it's a compliment but half of the comparison comments I've gotten is that it's like [character or person] but they "let themselves go" - total mystery why I don't buy that excuse!

I check periodically if there’s any news on the iPhone accessibility updates that they said in May were coming “later this year” and I was reading through the features and saw we’ll be able to temporarily put accessibility settings on other idevices, specifically mentioning kiosks

Chronic pain will have you needing deep introspection to find the answer to the inscrutable mysteries of life, like "am I in pain right now"

My neighbor's kid says "bye!" waits for a response, then says "bye!" again to someone and this repeats like five to ten times and it's adorable I hope his mom and grandma appreciate that one day he's gonna stop doing that and they'll miss it. I sometimes hear them (gently) trying to get him to stop.

Shout out to people who draw consistent moles on characters. Especially body moles. Love a titty mole, not even gonna lie.

I don't think I'll ever get used to the way migraines steal time. I had a migraine today and I'm so tempted to stay up longer because I lost an entire day into the void but that'd be worse. I just have to accept that it's gone. As a kid I imagined my future self being more stoic about it but no.

Talking to people who don’t know much about animal behavior, training, and pet care, feels like talking to a malicious genie I swear

I made some coleslaw from a sliver of leftover red cabbage and was really impressed how much better it was than store bought, so tried it again with a cabbage I had today which was green and it was no longer impressive. Lesson learned: always trust purple vegetables

It's really funny when I need to mention a specific artist or something they drew that I forget usernames half the time so I'm over here googling like, the name of their cat.