Decided to try out adding more different grains to my oatmeal to keep it from getting boring. First thing I tried was wild rice - really good! Nice texture contrast.

One of the most frustrating intersections of my disabilities is this: I wake up at 5pm because of non24, I feel beat to hell because of fibromyalgia, not rested because of narcolepsy, and my migraines tend to hit when I wake up. I take my meds and wait. I have 4 hours before stores start closing

I keep window shopping for aglaonema (can’t afford it now but I can look dammit) and the main thing I’m discovering about variegated pink plants is that “pretty” and “looks like a skin condition” are not mutually exclusive

Flight Rising is the reason I still love April Fools Day look at the "award" my mad scientist dragon received

Never ceases to amaze me how there's maniacs on the website for a grocery store leaving reviews of like, toilet paper, or canned green beans. I'd suspect bots except one review of plastic cups was just making fun of a different reviewer being named "Karen"

You know, like this

Migraine day three. Thinking violent thoughts. Cat is sitting on me like that one painting of a nightmare.

Gave myself a headache getting groceries but I can now say for certain the twin leg kickstand was worth it, I never want to load a bike with groceries without it again

A message to you from a trax train platform in Salt Lake City

Tired of my life. Too many things happen to me and I have too many factors to worry about with my body failing me in a dozen different ways. There's nothing I can do about it though.

My new kickstand does the same thing as the other one where one wheel sticks in the air slightly 😑 it's a smaller gap so I'm gonna just accept it if it comes to that, but this one has marks and notches on it that look like it might be adjustable so I'll ask the bike shop about it.

One of the funny things about an unusual name is I can often tell if someone remembered my name vs glanced at it in writing to use it. Seeing it written doesn’t necessarily lead to pronouncing it correctly with confidence. My doctor doesn’t remember my name but the food bank delivery guy does

I had a kidney stone (felt like two actually, working through the ureter a few inches apart) after going to bed last night and then when I finally slept I had a dream about being homeless. George Costanza was there. Anyway I’ve been done with today since 12am.

Can’t stop thinking about the way my mom’s airtag was jammed into the sign for my building. It was equal parts deliberate and baffling and I don’t know what to do with that.

Someone stole my mothers keys - probably swiped them off her rollator handle while she wasn't looking. When we noticed the keys were missing I made the airtag make noise assuming it was in the apartment. Whoever had them at that point ran and jammed the airtag into the property sign, sans keys.

I ran out of my cold brew but was desperate enough for caffeine that I used some of my mom's instant. This shit tastes evil.

Today's random memory: A big white trucker dude in an Asian grocery store explaining that the path of the intercontinental railroad is dotted with convenience stores with Asian imported candies and that the history of Asian immigrants in America is why he was there that day for coffee flavored candy

This has been living in my head ever since I first saw it

I spent a significant amount of my therapy session explaining what a narcoleptic sleep attack is like and then went home and had one. Did it hear me or something wtf

The kickstand I bought is too tall for my bike and I can't really return it. Played myself. Not sure whether to throw more money into trying a different one or see if I can just tough it out with this one. Kinda makes my bike stand with one wheel in the air by about an inch. Maybe I can just deal.

[discussing interior decorating and our giant teddy bear] Me: I was thinking about putting it on the floor Mom: With it's giant spindly legs sticking out Me: I was thinking of having the legs folded - coquettishly, you know

My mother made a deal with a neighbor to take our broken recliner and I'm kinda just sitting watching my mom try to get this thing out of the apartment (I did an errand and am making dinner, I have decided for my sanity that how this chair gets out of here is none of my business)

*watching tadc clips of Bubble* My mom: ... Is that guy just teeth and eyes? Me: Yeah

It'd be really funny to talk about animals that no one talks about as exotic as though they are exotic just because I've personally never seen them in person. You know, exotic animals like silverfish and white tail deer and bullfrogs and any kind of hare.

Before watching new tadc: I'm not ready for this After watching new tadc: I wasn't ready for that

It's 75F right now and it says it's going to be 81 later and I know I don't need to say it we all know it but I wanna say it anyway it's not supposed to be fucking 80F in Salt Lake City in March

Today's random memory: In elementary school and kids saw both my parents for the first time and asked why I didn't look like either, I tried to explain being biracial by comparing it to mixing blue and yellow and getting green paint, but they hadn't done that I guess so they said I was lying

My mom: They [property management] told me to tell you to go online and go to the link Me: ... Me: Link to what? Mom: Me: Where is this link? Mom: Online Me: Where online? Like, like did they email it to me? Mom: 🤷‍♀️

Nonfiction books about suicidal depression are mostly memoirs or memoir adjacent so it’s like rolling a dice whether you share enough commonalities with the author to glean any meaningful insight. So far all these people may as well be space aliens to me.

Every day there's at least three things I have to do, absolutely necessary that I do, and I have to choose only one. Sometimes I can't do any of them. They pile up. My life is unsatisfying and pointless and everyone is disappointed.

I still think a lot about that receptionist who said how many group therapy sessions I missed due to migraines/sleeping disorder was unfair to everyone else, and she wanted me to leave. She condensed everything that makes me feel guilty for existing into a sentence and confirmed it as accurate

one of the things that frustrates me about re my chronic illness is how last-minute my decisions about things often have to be--everything depends. On how well/sick I feel, how much energy I have. There is no way to know for sure how I feel until the day of. I wonder if people just think Im a flake.

Got brave and decided to order a new kickstand and install it myself. I just have not found time to make a trip to the bike shop. With the sleeping disorders and chronic pain I get limited and sometimes random opportunities to get out of the house and so far there's always something else.

Every time I watch someone play Soma I just am reminded how much I love Catherine as a character. She constantly sounds like her patience is worn down to the stumps; it's great.

Currently the thing keeping me going is anticipating eating specialty artisanal foods I probably shouldn’t be spending money on. I’ll let you know how midnight blue hulless popcorn is.

Sometimes I feel guilty about avoiding my neighbor who asks for my help with things but then I remember how she said I could come over and cook for her, like that’d be a favor she would be doing me and it makes me angry enough to continue icing her out another day at minimum

Neighbor: Magera! Never get old, okay? Me: Absolutely the fuck not I'm going to get old it beats the alternative Neighbor: *bewildered* ... death? Me: Yeah death.

Mom: Do you know where all this water came from? Me: I gave the cat a bath? She did not cooperate. Mom: Oh Me: She's a very good cat, she didn't bite or scratch me, but she fought me like a WRESTLER

It's still amazing to me seeing how often people ignore the parts of a cat's face the cat can control and emote with in favor of reading their eye shape as an expression. My dude they were born with their eyes angled like that they aren't angry.

Based on recent attempts to make my cat’s food more appetizing to her, I need everyone to know a world of cat people would have a shaker of nooch (nutritional yeast) on the table like salt.

Least favorite activity: getting migraine aura and rushing to the store in a panic to get food before it hits. Also still no kickstan- JESUS FUCKING CHRIST someone just revved their engine and peeled out onto state street sounding like a fucking plane taking off

When ancient people bathed in like, rivers or whatever, did their cats also cry out mournfully at them like they were watching a murder take place

I finally got my slides yesterday and holy shit I forgot how firm they are when new. I'd slowly gotten used to mine being kinda squishy from constant use. I love the firmness it made such an immediate difference for the plantar fasciitis. I'm gonna do what I can to never let them get that old again

I got an uber home earlier to get the groceries home, and I seriously considered just leaving my bike at the store (locked, ofc) but it was just nagging at me too much so I went back and got it. I am so tired.

I wonder if the bike shop guys will remember me now like hey hi, bleeding knee girl, I broke my bike in a new and exciting way while getting groceries again

My kickstand snapped off my bike. 🫠

🕊️

Something I found interesting is the ophthalmologist’s assistant mentioned she likes to check the prescription in glasses with extreme prescriptions because some places can’t be trusted to make the correct prescription above a certain lens strength

*puts on socks* *puts on shoes* *ties shoes* *goes into other room and takes them off again* ... two more days until slides are delivered, just two more days, just two...