just found out a guy who did some of my first tattoos is on ink master from a clip on instagram lol i didn’t even know that show was still on. his little brother was obsessed with me. oh sometimes i feel like i have lived 1000 lives.

i’m up late because my hips and knees hurt bc i stood on cement for three hours without leaning or sitting and that’s all my dumb body needs to start going fucking nuts because i can’t figure out how to unclench my buttcheeks or whatever

this is what being raised non-christian is like. to be raised in another faith & hear people constantly say they aren’t capable of bad things because “i’m a christian” can do a number on you over the years. anyway, that “christianity is the end of the story” comment isn’t the flex they think it is

this match is too much for 1080. this match requires 4k.

how old is hechicero? if he’s my age i’ll kill myself

taz said toni storm kicked thekla “right in the yam bag” which is very woke of him

i teared up bc of the green bastard. it’s for personal reasons.

the love of my life could NEVER be a gemini. my venus sign makes me sick

yeah i think surrogacy is a symptom of a deranged society. yeah i will judge you for using a surrogate. you can try and fight me about it but i’m not interested. i said what i said

shit in his hand, piss on the table

you think they’d remember that jimmy kimmel used to do black face and give him colbert’s job and a medal. unprecedented times.

i would rather shave my entire ass off with a belt sander than buy cashmere from kim kardashian

as someone who has suffered greatly in this realm i cannot explain the anger i feel when i come across a reel on my fyp w a woman talking about how she had 4 babies that died but they were all 1st trimester miscarriages. it’s misleading & wrong! i don’t tell people i had 6 dead babies wtf thats nuts

your number one source for local goose drama

traffic jam

this makes sense actually. we are all dead and in hell. that tracks.

my mom got covid again and my health is bad so it doesn’t look like we’ll be seeing my parents and i’m super fucking bummed

i am so fucking sad dude

i already did it. for three ladies over 60. the wikipedia page helped

gotta keep the parents in check

he was also cool with the idea of his 10 yr old daughter carrying a product of r*pe to term & giving birth so maybe his entire family isn’t quite as sad as everyone’s speculating. all i’m saying is, no way of knowing

every time i mandolin a mess of cucumbers i get anticipatory pain in my fingertips because i know the moment grows nearer

i always feel so powerful when i can spot the f35 before i hear it. i am so powerful today.

the mournful metalheads i haven’t spoken to in 15 years are really falling over themselves to be embarrassing and i am grateful for the opportunity to unfollow so many dumb bitches in such a short time

“all political violence is bad” i’m sorry are slave uprisings bad? are revolutions against dictators bad? i’m confused, bb

it’s ok charlie kirk is dining at the lil’ bits in hell

i mean, lol

this guy!

oh my bra broke

my stepson is out here going to parties and filming dudes being creepy, intervening, THEN when they sober up he’s showing these dudes the videos he took of them being creepy, letting them know it’s unacceptable, and making them text every girl they were being creepy towards. I AM ALL VERKLEMPT

SOMEBODY stole a hamburger bun from the kitchen and scurried away with it and now they’re acting like they didn’t do any crimes despite having sesame seeds stuck to their jowls

should i be driving halfway across the country in two weeks? is that a bad idea?

america:

this is definitely what abe lincoln stayed closeted for.

where you at?

anyway, does the nicotine energy drink taste like a poland spring full of dip spit? is there a hotdoggy essence to it? i have questions. not sure if i want answers.

the maha freaks w their raw milk, cod liver oil, beef tallow on their faces, carnivore diet, eschewing fruit etc…they have to be the mustiest mfers on the planet. they love the founding fathers so much that they’re compelled to misinterpret their words and smell like their grundles forever

oh hey cool the landlord is demoing the apartment next door to us and the only thing keeping my dog from rage barking 24/7 is loud experimental jazz. it isn’t even noon

jaime was at the GP and he was like “how’s your wife?” and jaime goes “her thumb doesn’t work” and the dr was like “um that’s concerning” and jaimes like “yeah but the rheumatologist said she’s fine” and they both have eachother the thumbs up.

i need a 7up with the lithium still in it and some morphine cough syrup please and thank you

my lower back and pretty much all of my joints are aching so bad i just want to curl up & cry

Rudy Giuliani stuns in tactical diaper

crying bc another favorite instagram dog has passed. i’m very emotional and i love dogs and the sweet dogs aren’t who should be taken from us right now, there are real bloated human rectums that are dangerous and need to be excised from this earth

wake up babe, new steiner math just dropped

found this guy in the parking lot at the grocery store with no one around. so i took him home

RFK Jr on his way to help Rudy Giuliani

new yorkers and folks with parents who are new yorkers: educate your parents. their brains are all wrong and they get most of their news from facebook and The Dream Realm:

decoy!!

🤷‍♂️