I KNEW IT WAS THE COUPLE THAT FUCKS

who IS she?

on a massive violent femmes kick suddenly

i made a refrigerator salad i will only refer as “The Beans” (i am thinking of adding quartered artichoke hearts but then in would just be “The Fiber”)

dying for sex is an absolutely stunning and profound but also hilarious series and it is breaking my fucking heart and giving me ptsd but it is beautiful, spectacular pain. oh man

a day bat. in the back doorway. not awesome.

back on my full moon menstrual BS

Hey @darthbluesky.bsky.social my close friend Rochelle passed away at the end of May and her family is trying to raise money for Albuquerque Animal Welfare, where she worked for many years. Can you please repost? www.gofundme.com/f/in-memory-...

i have inherited the giant cauldron from which i was conjured!!

i have been emotionally destroyed by From and need too rewatch Widows Bay to calm down

time to watch the From finale. don’t know what i’m going to do when i have neither Widow’s Bay nor From to comfort me in the creepiest of ways. what kind of personality will i have?!

eventually this insomnia will start to take its toll on my body in wildly new and exciting ways!!

i made sangria for the party and i’m the only one who drank it. lol i miss widow’s bay. these statements are not related.

i am doing socializing

i have plans tomorrow so naturally…all of this *gestures at body*

i puked in the bushes in our parking lot and i think two of my neighbors saw me but i did kick mulch over it because i am considerate

FAST CASUAL SHRIMP?!

wait there’s culver’s shrimp discourse? what

just got the sloppiest pedicure of all time. zelle me to see it

cancer season 🤷🏻‍♀️🤡

i can’t decide

brett kavanaugh why don’t you pour yourself a nice big glass of roundup?

i was in the UK in august 1997 during a massive heatwave and i remember my dad being apoplectic bc all the radio shows were like “hahaha american tourists are suffering because they love AC” WELL HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW YOU SWEATY CUNTS?!

omg it is 71 degrees in the bedroom and i am shivering like convulsively wtf

why did i just eat 4 squares of chocolate? oh we all know why.

anyway, watching Peep Show for the 12789th time

i saw lemonade bone broth stir in packets the other day and it made me feel bad inside

the burnt grilled cheese smell is turning my stomach

someone nearby is burning a grilled cheese and my system does not like it. also to look up from the wrestling show and tell your husband “someone’s burning a grilled cheese. in a cast iron pan. the butter got too hot.” like some kind of fatass clairvoyant…

the number is probably even lower if you exclude nyc italians who moved to jersey

i fuckin hate earwigs, dude

well we know where they’ll all be at once…

so new Sleep sounds like Om and that’s fine with me because i imagine matt pike is up to some real crazy stuff i cannot abide at this point anyway (it was funny 12 years ago i am just tired now)

trying to say “shorts” but forgot the word so i said “crotch pants” instead

i made german potato salad and i put diced garlic scapes from the farmers market in the vinaigrette so you can’t tell me shit

oh my GOD a girl i grew up with commenting on a video of a young boy being arrested on broadway in nashville w nashville PD clearly tagged arguing “this is not new york! this is not broadway! this is not nypd!” sweetie grow a fuckin frontal lobe what the fuck

my favorite scene from The Wicker Man

approaching peak memeification of the data center

guess what i watched yesterday

“doctor i LOVE being awake hours before my alarm because my stomach hurts!! i was wondering if there was a way we could make this happen more often? no diagnostics though. and i definitely don’t want a diagnosis.” -me trying reverse psychology on my dr bc that’s the only card i have left to play

happy father’s day from baby me and my awesome dad

i did not know the kardashians were doing bad things in deep space nine

BATH TIME ESPECIAL

i have a face

plans for the day

BATH TIME ESPECIAL

horrible news the dumpling place CLOSED

i have had ENOUGH of this simulation ass bullshit!!

i’m afraid the reflecting pool just blue itself

do i want a burger or dumplings