just asking but have they tried the gay of hormuz?

Queens Public Library is collecting donations of formal clothes for students attending Prom www.queenslibrary.org/about-us/new...

the wind is freaking me the fuck out

they should’ve made a whole bit out of the pissing it should’ve been 5 minutes long just constant piss stream the entire entrance all piss

tony schiavone said the fuck word

not andrade conducting the “fuck ICE too” chant 🥰

hey so the wrestling made me cry again: a love story

ugh not ronda

whoops can’t sleep muscles be spasming

RIP to one of the greatest German philosophy posts of all time.

disgusted by everyone on the face of the earth

“One parent told us that their 5-year-old asked, ‘Are we bad people? Are they going to kill us here? That’s what these children are feeling as time goes on.”

Someone in NYC should do interviews with middle-school kids who take the subway to and from school every day, to see if they have any advice for Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy who can't seem to go a single day without pissing himself in fear over them.

i know i’m old af bc i’m like “damn supermarket’s got bangers”

had a really lovely evening with my family (and negronis). now for a thunderstorm!

jacked up my pinky in costco. what a dumb bitch

alert!! hot priest at the cafe zupas!

why do i love negronis so much don’t answer i have to stop loving negronis but as long as i am not buying them it’s great

doing bad!!!!!! hahahahaha

Diaper pantries and food banks are running on fumes these days. Signing up for a recurring gift of $25/month can make a genuine, substantial difference on the ground.

trying not to feel defeated in my existence on this earth but i am exasperated to the point of melancholy i do not need this shit

the diabolical circle jerk of evil

i used to say my mom was a confusing mix of linda belcher and lucille bluth but now shes just lucille bluth without any tact. big “it’s one banana how much could it cost” energy mixed with fighting strangers at gas stations (verbal only)

it was too hot in the damn restaurant and now i am in menopause

get no service in the can at this hotel. that’s unacceptable, pal.

how lucky are we to live in a world where it is perpetually black friday yet everything is the most expensive it’s ever been?

Branch manager branching out

today i woke up and my mouth wasn’t covered in blood which is awesome because that happens to me constantly

cramps so bad i’m gonna throw up lol

i thought i had my period but no it seems that it is time for an even worse period? this tracks as my parents land here tomorrow.

MY DOG IS WEARING A HUMAN T SHIRT

i don’t know what to say about ciampa except his theme sounds like jellyroll x slingblade

there’s a fact based feeling in my asshole and i’m calling the proctologist

WE LIVE IN HELL I HATE IT HERE

polymarket sounds like a place where throuples go to buy a chaise, not a harbinger of the apocalypse.

i saw billy corgan with the smashing pumpkins at lollapalooza when i was 5 and i distinctly remember noting to myself how much they fucking sucked live

she’s wearing a toddler’s t-shirt

happy blood moon eclipse 🌕✨❤️‍🔥 death to pedophiles✨

FISH DOORBELL IS BACK BABY!!

they also rape children and eat babies

could a dying empire do THIS

autocorrect tries to turn “risperidone” to “diaper urine.” wow.

they said they’d do it after market close and i really hoped they were just stroking their pubes about it but they’re fucking doing it huh

i believe that the low fodmap diet process is a scam & a way to place blame on the patient & stonewall their treatment options. i don’t know one person who has ever followed that thing to the t. they tell us to do it, don’t even provide support & then say it’s your fault for not following it. lame

finally reaping the benefits of child rearing (eventually when you feel like shit or the meat hasn’t defrosted fast enough you can make them your personal uber eats guy as long as you feed them good)

apparently the laurie anderson song “o superman” is having a moment on tiktok and it’s super weird for me bc when i was a baby into like elementary school i would make my parents put it on when i went to sleep. it soothed me.

i was in my bathroom feeling bad and then i went to wash my hands and there was the hugest house centipede i’ve ever seen just chilling on the hot water knob. it was horrible. i hated it. i hate it. so many legs.

This is how white nationalism undermines very basic thinking. I interned in a state Medicaid/Medicare audit unit. The idea that states do not do this already is absurd and is only justified if you are incensed that non-white people receive equal benefits that they are entitled to under the law.

"Officers responding to a planned snowball fight" is one of those little Verhoeven touches that make his work so vital