1/4 Autistics: minding our business Randos: “Hey freak, why are you like this? Let’s rattle off 10,000 fake causes instead of just making life accessible. Cos it couldn’t possibly be my parents doing the horizontal mambo 9 months before I was born no protection…like every other human.” Carry on.

Please read the article at the end of this thread. It saw parts of me I didn’t know were longing to be acknowledged. #Neurodivergence

Every morning I make plans. #Autism rewrites them, #ADHD loses them, and somehow I end up reorganizing the fridge at 3 a.m.

1/3 Why do so many parents only realize they’re autistic or ADHD after their child is diagnosed? Because children are not clay to mold. They are mirrors genetic, ancestral, unflinching. #AutismDiagnosis #ADHDParenting #Neurodivergence #AutismAcceptance #IntergenerationalHealing #CureCulture

Sweden sells itself as an equal welfare state. I call it having a good PR system. Behind the façade, the numbers/testimonies tell a different story. It doesn’t matter if we have a left or right wing government disabled people are ignored by laws & systemically discriminated. Link below 👇🏾 1/2

1/3 The mask many women have worn for decades rarely survives perimenopause. Brain fog creeps in. Tasks unravel. Emotional regulation slips. Sensory overwhelm spikes. What looked like competence was masking. When hormones shift, the mask breaks. #ADHDWomen #Neurodivergent

Small talk isn’t harmless for autistic & ADHD professionals. It’s labor, not glue. In workplaces it allocates access, credit & care while punishing clarity, esp. in Black neurodivergent women. Directness is care. Clarity is ethical. #Autism #ADHD #Neurodivergent #WorkplaceCulture #Inclusion

When I'm asked, "how are you?" and I reply, "I don't know" I get the oddest looks sometimes or someone who becomes concerned about me. My aide told me that "I don't know" is a valid response. #psAuDHD

When people tell others “just go to therapy,” I laugh. Not because therapy isn’t useful but because no one ever tells you how to find the right therapist. Or what “right” even means for autistics. Do you know how hard it is to find someone culturally competent, #cbt #autism

#AutisticAndProud 🫶🏻

I have new posts on IG on “Neurodivergence in African societies” whilst I work out how to share with the diaspora the full research soon. Same name on IG ✨🫶🏾

I know that’s right! ✨🙏🏾 I am also on IG where I create the visual alt texted slides to go with my essays. Essay 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/lovettej... Instagram: www.instagram.com/lovettejallo...

1/3 Small talk is not always harmless. For autistic + ADHD people, it’s a test we never agreed to take. “How are you?” (but don’t want the truth). “Where are you from?” (but won’t take the answer). “What do you do?” (so they can measure your usefulness). #Autism #ADHD

Miss you, Tinu. Powerful essay. #BlackWomen #Neurodiversity

Tinu is awesome. She has pretty hair and great taste in shoes and, honestly, she saved my damn life. Give the link a look! #ForTinu

I don’t want anyone treating me how they treat themselves. Care that copies their self-talk. If your inner dialogue is harsh, your “care” will be too. Most won’t say this out loud. I will gently but firmly so you understand, and so you have concrete ways to do better. #BlackWomen #Neurodiversity

I dedicate today’s essay to my friend @tinu.bsky.social who passed away. Black women’s advocacy is often thankless, costly, and done in silence. Tinu lived it fully. We are not just women. We are Black women, neurodivergent. We do not want to be treated like you. #BlackWomen #Neurodiversity

You’ve heard “treat people how you want to be treated.” But care built on your template erases the person in front of you. When likeness and proximity to white supremacy decides who gets empathy, that belief isn’t kindness it’s a weapon. #BlackWomen #Neurodiversity

One of the only blogs I read every week by the beautiful & brilliant @lovettejallow.bsky.social‬ insights on neurodivergence, race, cultural, structural violence ...basically everything ! lovettejallow.substack.com

How Black Matriarchies defined Polyamory as Structure, Not Sexuality Friendship is polyamory as legacy through structured care, West African kinship, and neurodivergent safety that lasts

1/3 What if polyamory was never about romance alone but also about survival and friendships too? Black matriarchies built care systems through co-parenting, friendship, and shared housing. They built for crisis, not chemistry. #Polyamory #BlackMatriarchy

Sydney Sweeney x American Eagle isn’t just PR. It’s a cultural blueprint. White femininity, patriarchy, and racialized desire have always been co-authored. I broke it down in my latest essay 👇🏾 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/lovettej... #BeautyPolitics #DecolonialFeminism #WhiteFemininity

1/4 When Anti-Racism Becomes Degradation Kink for White People Shame doesn’t dismantle systems. It protects them. Performance isn’t justice. My latest essay talks about economy of white confessions, & public posturing without doing anything of value to redistribute power 🔗 shorturl.at/vNvmt

4/ I’m not here to soothe guilt. Naming harm matters more. Whiteness calls its confusion innocent while criminalizing ours. If you want real community? Start with truth. No more alibis. No more shields. You can listen on the substack app for accessibility. #CommunityCare #TruthTelling

White people use their autism, ADHD, and neurodivergence diagnoses to dodge accountability for the harm they cause. This is why we can’t talk about neurodivergence without accountability. & we can’t talk about who evades accountability without whiteness. 1/4 ⤵️ #Neurodiversity #Accountability

Hey so. This sucks. Worth a read if you're in the US and looking at options for autism/ADHD assessment.

LBee Health Lauren Howard L2 sold unregulated autism & ADHD assessments as “neuro-affirmative care.” This investigation exposes how trust was weaponized to profit from vulnerable, late-diagnosed people. Survivor stories, evidence, systemic failures. #LBeeHealth #Neurodiversity #DisabilityJustice

Ik volg deze vrouw al een tijdje op Threads, en ze schrijft zeer intelligente en inspirerende stukken, echt een absolute aanrader!

2/5 This lack of repair skill follows people into adulthood. They call it boundaries. Growth. But often it’s avoidance. Rupture feels like betrayal because they never learned repair. Conflict isn’t the problem. Refusing to see their part is. #Avoidance #Relationships

Why don’t so many know how to repair relationships anymore? We replace conflict resolution with avoidance, ghosting, silent withdrawal. For many, conflict wasn’t repaired. It was punished. Silence. Blame. Distance. #ConflictRepair #Ghosting 1/5 🧵⤵️

Also if you're not reading @lovettejallow.bsky.social , what are you even doing? Literally changed my life as a teacher and made me rethink how I show up as a friend. lovettejallow.substack.com

Where are the neurodivergent, queer, demi love stories, where autism and ADHD aren’t plot twists, how we connect? I soft launched my new series Slow Like Sapphic. Sensory. Neurodivergent. And yes, I read it aloud. You might need to pause & breathe. #NeurodivergentLove #AutisticRomance

My church’s embrace of authentic questioning (and by default, embrace of my kids who question everything) is one of the main reasons it has been my spiritual home for so long.

Important lessons about emotional intimacy, extraction, and intersections with race, gender, and neurodivergence from @lovettejallow.bsky.social lovettejallow.substack.com/p/what-commu...

If you keep calling every abuser a narcissist, you’ll miss the real danger: abuse doesn’t wear a label. Most people with NPD aren’t abusive & most abusers will never meet the criteria. For so long, I’ve wanted to write about “narcissistic abuse” so I did today. 1/3🧵 #NarcissisticAbuse #NPD

What if grief didn’t have to be “on time” to be real? Grief for me/ND’s isn’t linear. It’s a cycle that keeps looping back. My new essay breaks down how precolonial West African cultures honored neurodivergent mourning, before it was pathologised. #neurodivergent #BlackAutistic #ancestralhealing

“What would Jesus do?” Well 🤔 He wore the same tunic daily (sensory-friendly). He left mid-event cos social battery was done. He hyperfixated on fairness. He flipped tables (low tolerance for injustice). He served bread & fish = safe foods only. 1/2 🧵 #NeurodivergentJesus #Autism #SensoryNeeds

For me it's just the holiest thing you can do is refuse to pretend

People love to say “What Would Jesus Do?” But when autistic kids actually do what Jesus did wander off, question power, ghost crowds, flip tables they get labeled “noncompliant.” In todays essay I write about open.substack.com/pub/lovettej... 👇🏾 1/3 🧵 #NeurodivergentJustice #AutisticTruth

In today’s essay ✍🏾 : Everyone wants proximity to Black women until we name the cost. They say they love us but forget we are intersectional. Not metaphorically. Structurally. We dont come in parts. open.substack.com/pub/lovettej... #BlackAutistic #Intersectionality #BlackFeminism

Some think it’s weird when your friend groups don’t mix. But mine don’t on purpose. I’m autistic. I’ve held people who couldn’t hold each other. Just because I can translate them doesn’t mean they can connect. 1/3 🧵 #ActuallyAutistic #FriendshipBoundaries #Neurodivergent

If you’re racialized, foreign-born, or outside the network you were never meant to get into Sweden’s job market. The bias isn’t accidental. It’s structural. Here’s how it works and who it works for. #Sweden #JobMarket #Exclusion #DEI

88 Black youth denied entry to clubs. 88 complaints to Sweden’s Discrimination Ombudsman. 0 action. This isn’t a failure. It’s a system working exactly as it was built. Read why I broke it down—because Sweden still refuses to name racism: 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/lovettej... #SwedenRacism #DOFail

🇳🇬 men 🤝🏿 🇬🇲 men. I appreciate this essay. Thank you. I set the same boundaries. You can’t speak to me anyhow; I’m a human being too.

Cooking isn’t culture when it’s only demanded from women. Grown men asking for Domoda while calling me “Westernized” is exactly what’s broken. Full essay: [below 👇🏾] #GambianCulture #GenderedLabor #Matriarchy #BlackFeminism #FoodPolitics

Some of you need to stop being deadbeats to your inner child™. In my new Substack + podcast, I unpack how unhealed trauma becomes reenactment especially in the autism community, where Black women’s labor is expected but never returned. Survival isn’t repair. 1/3 🧵

Them: You never smile. Me: Maybe you’re just not that funny. I save my 40-year-old face movements for people who make it worth the muscle engagement. Smiling is a luxury don’t expect it if the vibe is off. #AutismAwareness

Today I wrote about what it means to be Black, autistic & on the asexual spectrum and how desire, for some of us, begins after safety. Link: Read or listen it here: [your Substack link] #Demisexual #Asexual #BlackNeurodivergent #StillnessIsNotConfusion open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...

Demisexual ≠ picky. Some of us don’t feel desire unless we feel safe, seen, and held. For Black autistic women, this gets erased fast. Today I wrote about being #asexual, autistic & misread. Stillness isn’t confusion. It’s truth. open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...

"It was about finally feeling what I often feeling what I often give: calm, clarity, space—and realizing how much I want that, not just from others, but around me."- @lovettejallow.bsky.social lovettejallow.substack.com/p/crush-or-e...