London: craving offline autism community? I’m the special guest at The Rose Garden 2026 by theedenroseproject a sensory considerate day for autistic adults, parents, siblings, carers, educators & advocates. 📍 Arding Rooms, Clapham Junction 📅 Sat 7 March, 12-6pm Read more 1/3⤵️

"People misread our joy, our discomfort, our boundaries, then demand our children perform 'clear communication' on command." @lovettejallow.bsky.social describes the specific pressures on Black non-speaking autistic children and their families. #autism #BlackAndAutistic #neurodiversity

“Will my nonspeaking autistic child ever speak?” is a search-bar question. Under it sit two fears: fear for the child’s future, and fear of how family will interpret the child. Speech becomes proof of “good parenting.” The child becomes a performance. #autism #nonspeaking

If calm love feels suspicious, your body is doing exactly what it was trained to do. Many of us learned “connection” through emotional turbulence. The nervous system adapts fast, it starts reading intensity as closeness, chaos as care, and steadiness as the moment before something breaks. Post 1/3:

🗣🗣🗣 By @lovettejallow.bsky.social #audhd #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #adud #wtpeople

Why do people make promises they don’t keep, then keep interacting like nothing happened? That silence is the second breach. This essay breaks down dopamine, image, and cost transfer, with autistic and ADHD context. Link: open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...

Have you ever had someone promise you something, disappear, then return like it was nothing? I wrote about broken promises, silence, and why “good intentions” mean nothing without repair. #Autism #ADHD #accountability. Read here: 👇🏾

🚨 ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨 Introducing my next patented design: the Butthole Washer™, engineered for MEN who want to be clean while needing reassurance that cleanliness can still look serious & not make anything gheyy or weird. Yes, it’s black & aggressively industrial. 1/2⤵️

🚨 ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨 It has officially been 12 months since I discovered that when men sit on the toilet… their junk just hangs in the bowl. Since that day, I have not known peace. I have lived with questions. I stared into the middle distance. I whispered, “Why would God design it like this?” 1/4⤵️

Autistics, gather round. Are we all rehearsing our gift-opening faces, or coordinating plausible excuses for why we suddenly cannot attend? Personally, I am considering faking an eye infection. I will provide written feedback once I am home and have opened the gift in private. #autism 1/2⤵️

"As I once calmly explained to a parent: Your child did not download autism from the cloud." @lovettejallow.bsky.social, on inherited autism and trauma, especially between mothers and daughter: lovettejallow.substack.com/p/autistic-d... #autism #neurodiversity #autistic

🇸🇪🪖 One like = one thing Swedish military professionals (and nerds) love to say.

Mental health stigma is not a shield from accountability. Autistic people are tired of being labeled “unwell” for asking for the work we paid for. People prey on autistics and think we will be silent. Documentation is public now. @digitaldavina.bsky.social

Have you ever paid for work, ghosted, & then when you asked for accountability months later, you were told you’re “unwell” for expecting a refund? Many autistic’s know this pattern. Emotional closeness as cover. Mental health weaponised to avoid responsibility. Meet @digitaldavina.bsky.social

I end most of my conversations with people at work this way. *reads article*

Autistic over-explaining isn’t always clarity we mask as conversation. New essay: the neuroscience of trauma loops, loops, workplace strategies, and practical tools to speak less without losing yourself. For anyone who ends every sentence with “you know what I mean?” Here’s what’s happening 👇🏾 1/2

"We learn early that “disabled” is a word that shuts doors. Employers avoid it, family members whisper it, clinicians rank it. So we start running from it, mistaking distance for dignity." Excellent from @lovettejallow.bsky.social Someone will always argue, but regardless: autism IS a disability.

"When I began saying 'I’m autistic& disabled' something shifted. I stopped apologizing for my limits& started protecting my capacity. I stopped pretending my energy was endless& started recognizing it as finite, sacred& worth conserving." @lovettejallow.bsky.social: open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...

I’ve expanded and edited my essays on autism and ableism into one full piece, now with audio. If You’re Autistic, You Are Disabled explores internalised ableism, race, and liberation. Join 7,000 readers on Substack, new essays for neurodivergents are coming. open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...

Hate to be the bearer of neutral news, but to be diagnosed autistic you have to meet criteria for significant impairments. That means yes, you’re disabled. Your diagnosis already confirmed it. People are crying blood on IG and linkedin because I said it out loud. Masking doesn’t ⤵️

New essay out now: on what happens when unhealed childhood wounds steer adult relationships how trauma, whiteness, and emotional displacement keep people recreating the same unsafe spaces they try to escape. Both written and audio versions available. open.substack.com/pub/lovettej... 1/3 ⤵️

1/4 Autistics: minding our business Randos: “Hey freak, why are you like this? Let’s rattle off 10,000 fake causes instead of just making life accessible. Cos it couldn’t possibly be my parents doing the horizontal mambo 9 months before I was born no protection…like every other human.” Carry on.

Please read the article at the end of this thread. It saw parts of me I didn’t know were longing to be acknowledged. #Neurodivergence

Every morning I make plans. #Autism rewrites them, #ADHD loses them, and somehow I end up reorganizing the fridge at 3 a.m.

1/3 Why do so many parents only realize they’re autistic or ADHD after their child is diagnosed? Because children are not clay to mold. They are mirrors genetic, ancestral, unflinching. #AutismDiagnosis #ADHDParenting #Neurodivergence #AutismAcceptance #IntergenerationalHealing #CureCulture

Sweden sells itself as an equal welfare state. I call it having a good PR system. Behind the façade, the numbers/testimonies tell a different story. It doesn’t matter if we have a left or right wing government disabled people are ignored by laws & systemically discriminated. Link below 👇🏾 1/2

1/3 The mask many women have worn for decades rarely survives perimenopause. Brain fog creeps in. Tasks unravel. Emotional regulation slips. Sensory overwhelm spikes. What looked like competence was masking. When hormones shift, the mask breaks. #ADHDWomen #Neurodivergent

Small talk isn’t harmless for autistic & ADHD professionals. It’s labor, not glue. In workplaces it allocates access, credit & care while punishing clarity, esp. in Black neurodivergent women. Directness is care. Clarity is ethical. #Autism #ADHD #Neurodivergent #WorkplaceCulture #Inclusion

When I'm asked, "how are you?" and I reply, "I don't know" I get the oddest looks sometimes or someone who becomes concerned about me. My aide told me that "I don't know" is a valid response. #psAuDHD

When people tell others “just go to therapy,” I laugh. Not because therapy isn’t useful but because no one ever tells you how to find the right therapist. Or what “right” even means for autistics. Do you know how hard it is to find someone culturally competent, #cbt #autism

#AutisticAndProud 🫶🏻

I have new posts on IG on “Neurodivergence in African societies” whilst I work out how to share with the diaspora the full research soon. Same name on IG ✨🫶🏾

I know that’s right! ✨🙏🏾 I am also on IG where I create the visual alt texted slides to go with my essays. Essay 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/lovettej... Instagram: www.instagram.com/lovettejallo...

1/3 Small talk is not always harmless. For autistic + ADHD people, it’s a test we never agreed to take. “How are you?” (but don’t want the truth). “Where are you from?” (but won’t take the answer). “What do you do?” (so they can measure your usefulness). #Autism #ADHD

Miss you, Tinu. Powerful essay. #BlackWomen #Neurodiversity

Tinu is awesome. She has pretty hair and great taste in shoes and, honestly, she saved my damn life. Give the link a look! #ForTinu

I don’t want anyone treating me how they treat themselves. Care that copies their self-talk. If your inner dialogue is harsh, your “care” will be too. Most won’t say this out loud. I will gently but firmly so you understand, and so you have concrete ways to do better. #BlackWomen #Neurodiversity

I dedicate today’s essay to my friend @tinu.bsky.social who passed away. Black women’s advocacy is often thankless, costly, and done in silence. Tinu lived it fully. We are not just women. We are Black women, neurodivergent. We do not want to be treated like you. #BlackWomen #Neurodiversity

You’ve heard “treat people how you want to be treated.” But care built on your template erases the person in front of you. When likeness and proximity to white supremacy decides who gets empathy, that belief isn’t kindness it’s a weapon. #BlackWomen #Neurodiversity

One of the only blogs I read every week by the beautiful & brilliant @lovettejallow.bsky.social‬ insights on neurodivergence, race, cultural, structural violence ...basically everything ! lovettejallow.substack.com

How Black Matriarchies defined Polyamory as Structure, Not Sexuality Friendship is polyamory as legacy through structured care, West African kinship, and neurodivergent safety that lasts

1/3 What if polyamory was never about romance alone but also about survival and friendships too? Black matriarchies built care systems through co-parenting, friendship, and shared housing. They built for crisis, not chemistry. #Polyamory #BlackMatriarchy

Sydney Sweeney x American Eagle isn’t just PR. It’s a cultural blueprint. White femininity, patriarchy, and racialized desire have always been co-authored. I broke it down in my latest essay 👇🏾 🔗 open.substack.com/pub/lovettej... #BeautyPolitics #DecolonialFeminism #WhiteFemininity

1/4 When Anti-Racism Becomes Degradation Kink for White People Shame doesn’t dismantle systems. It protects them. Performance isn’t justice. My latest essay talks about economy of white confessions, & public posturing without doing anything of value to redistribute power 🔗 shorturl.at/vNvmt

4/ I’m not here to soothe guilt. Naming harm matters more. Whiteness calls its confusion innocent while criminalizing ours. If you want real community? Start with truth. No more alibis. No more shields. You can listen on the substack app for accessibility. #CommunityCare #TruthTelling

White people use their autism, ADHD, and neurodivergence diagnoses to dodge accountability for the harm they cause. This is why we can’t talk about neurodivergence without accountability. & we can’t talk about who evades accountability without whiteness. 1/4 ⤵️ #Neurodiversity #Accountability

Hey so. This sucks. Worth a read if you're in the US and looking at options for autism/ADHD assessment.