Having swords is cool. It makes you cooler if you have a sword

Door dash offers complimentary big bag of spinach in “for god’s sake” promotion

This baby only lived one year

When I was in high school I was self conscious about having hairy arms Nowadays all anyone ever talks about is how hairy they wish their arms were

Imagine if the animaniacs showed up to your place of work and started enthusiastically mocking you like they do Not so funny now is it?

bsky.app/profile/spir... A movie that takes place where you’re from

If I was on hot ones I’d have a pizza with me

It’s supposed to be one hour why is it four?

Cats are a type of puppy

Do we have fun here?

I think it's good to keep getting mad about evil and unjust things, if only to remind yourself and everyone else that these things are in fact evil and unjust. I don't think it's naive. Nor is it wise and sophisticated to adopt a "You fool, nothing matters and nothing good can ever happen" posture

Hey yall

Wanna know how to stay off the tea app? Respect women.

Stop saying aura farm

Still here

If I got seated next to hulk hogan on an airplane I would purposely get really drunk and puke on him

I’m terrified of snakes. Hopefully these mixed nuts will sooth my phobia.

A video of the ceo shooter doing the WE BRING THE BOOM dance

Pandas are so cool Everything they do is stupid and should kill them but they just shrug their shoulders and then continue to fall on their asses all day

Very important things happen on wrestling tv shows

It’s funny how they make movies about fish even though fish aren’t real

I be on my bullshit again (Thirsting for a way to name the unnamable, express the inexpressible)

Mice should lay eggs

I’m a very intelligent and interesting person I’m also cool Everyone knows this and likes me

Just found out about Italians

Thinking I’m gonna share a venmo cashapp link soon with intention of just becoming Batman

Tag yourself

Whenever a dog is twitching in its sleep you should verbally comfort them. It either lets them know it’s a dream or you get to enter their dream and save the day.

Imagine having tickets to a big boxing match like this Just go to church or something. This is so boring: So many flopped dates in that audience

I’m Werdup

Lord of the rings really happened

Crazy Halloween costume idea A fish

Carmen Sandiego steals election in November surprise

Therapist keeps insisting that the reasons for my lifetime bans from Planet Fitness and Planet Hollywood are somehow related

You should be poking at and peeling your scabs. The woke left is lying to you

People be judging Bin Laden’s hard drive like their’s is just sourdough recipes or something

In the past 30 years the rent for living in a van down by the river went from 0$ to 2,950$

I keep trying to talk to the people in my tv and hurt myself when I try to walk closer to them. I just don’t get it

They should make more expensive movie theaters for weirdos who don’t play with their phone the whole time

Does this platform have the right amount of people who suck to make things fun enough yet?

Arrested for breast feeding in public (eating a whole rotisserie chicken in the courtroom)

Finally got the bluesky invite code that you sign up for Smh

The Pacific Ocean is mostly fish pee

I be on my bullshit again (Thirsting for a way to name the unnamable, express the inexpressible)

One day zoomers will look back like “I saw the greatest minds of my generation butt mogged”

Halloween is the only day of the year where you can wear a cowboy hat and not be a complete joke